Tuesday, December 09, 2008

All i want for Christmas is...


  • A trip from England to Nigeria. I've established that I can do Canada to England... all I need is the second half of the trip... (England to Nigeria)... my guardian angel are you listening?

... I know that you will not deny me isi ewu and point and kill fish and clubbing at Coliseum and um amala and vegetable soup and sunny weather and ugba and ofe owerri and and... well you know that I can only get the best of these things in Nigeria... sha try and make this happen ehn... I'll be nicer to my ex-boyfriends I promise... hehe...

  • This stupendously hideous but fantastic spirogyra- green leather bag I saw at diesel yesterday... I ended up getting the oddest sweater, jacket and beanie there... (and have promptly reduced my previous to-buy list by three dresses... lol).


Oddly enough, they don't have the green one on the website... but this is the shape of the bag... I'd carry it everywhere... even to sleep... its so soft...

  • An IPOD... I've finally succumbed to mindless consumption... lol... and the constant 'having-to-buy-a-new-one-every-other-week-cos-the-new-one-has-one-new-feature-I-simply-cant-live-without...




  • This French Connection Dress



  • New silver male watch.... actually I'll take whatever I get provided its sexy, VERY masculine and almost falling off my wrist...

  • To see Timaya in concert...

  • THIS!!!




  • Brandy, Beyonce and Britneys albums...

  • A feather(y) belt...

  • For my best friend to stop laughing about my trip-to-Nigeria ambitions... she thinks I'll stay in this country with her... SHES WRONG!!! my guardian angel NEVER dissapoints... lol... (because if shes not careful I wont bring her back any Nigerian movies and gala!!!)

Note to My Guardian Angel... please work on the list from top to bottom oh cos me I sha don't want the american apparel bathing suit and no trip oh... (not so sound ungrateful or anything... abi we're just discussin...). You will like my new year resolutions if you just arrange all these things for me ehn... I won't be as rude to strange old men who think they have a chance in Naija cos they drive red hummer jeeps... I'll not laugh (directly)in the face of the dudes who think I'm 'the one' after one lunch... I won't snicker everytime I see anybody dancing 'swo' to Movado... the way I will change... you self... you will be very suprised...

*theres a car I'm eyeing for my birthday in 2 months... but I won't talk about it now... especially while we're still negotiating the other stuff*

...as a bonus... I will try and donate blood self next year...

I love you angel... talk your own abeg... and the sooner the response the better... abi you know yetunde is getting married this christmas so i have to be there before that time.

Remain blessed... and don't forget to bless me too ehn angel...

ur first client... ONB

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Where I'm at...

This is the time of my life that many many others will probably be compared to... Some will fall short.... hopefully a great many will surpass it.

There have been times of extreme joy and exhilaration... times of tears and sudden weightloss(the latter I have no cause to complain about... cos... well... there is that beachparty in december...)

Someone is permanently in love with me... sometimes it fills me with fear... and sometimes I almost clap my hands like a child...
It's beautiful and its ugly... and its great and its terrible... and fun and confusing... and... well I like it.

I recently bought 5 of the most gorgeous and comfortable bras (and matching underwear) from Maidenform on a recent trip to Detroit...
you know the kind that just make you feel like an undiscovered BOND girl...

In the meantime... I have decided that I own way too many clothes... I spend too much on too many things...


The only item of clothing of which I have an accurate count and minimal amount are blazers...

I own 2... (that I wear)

A sexy structured black one from Mexx... and the Marciano linen one...


Everything else is out of control: bags of unworn dresses, boxes of once-worn dresses, innumerable skirts and shorts, rows and rows of still-tagged shirts, shoes surpassing the 200 mark...


I HAVE A PROBLEM!!!


I never remember what clothes i own(other than the favorites)... and have on 2 seperate occasions, bought things I already had in my closet.


I go through phases... like a yellow phase... a black and grey phase, a cardi, mini-dress and tights phase... a beanie with every outfit phase, a boyfriend jean, tight shirt and heels phase... and usually abandon the clothes once I'm done...


I don't sleep at night if I don't buy anything I like... so of I, of course, NEVER window-shop.
(Even as I write this... I am still dreaming about a gorgeous samurai-ish jacket at French Connection that I didn't buy cos my eventual Banana Republic trench purchase was a more winter-friendly option...)


So... I've decided to self-medicate...

Until I have worn EVERY single thing in my closet... or given it to somebody else... I will not buy anything but the following 10 items (no matter how hard!):
1. 4 new summer sandals (Nigeria might be happening after all this Christmas... )
2. THAT French Connection Jacket
3. 5 more Maidenform bras...
4. These Rock and Republic jeans from longlegs(they carry jeans in a 36-38 inseam... which works out perfectly for me... the store is recently discovered... and I've bought 3 pairs in the past 2 weeks... you'd understand if you saw my figure in 'em... hehe)
5. A new tennis bracelet... I lost mine at this years gay parade
6. 12 new dresses, 2 kneelenght pencil skirts, a huge black hobo bag, 3 new heels, black onepiece, 4 plain white v-neck shirts, green winterscarf and gold hoops (this is all technically 1 item... lol)
7. A dark-chocolate coloured leather jacket (the best friend says I shouldn't get a cropped one)
8. Red nail polish
9. Dark dark glasses that cover half my face... broke my last ones in England... they were monstrously divine... and relatively inexpensive... oh to be so lucky again...
10. A new digital camera

oh and everytime I deviate... I'll have to rem0ve one thing from the list... I WILL BE DISCIPLINED!!!

Endnote: Online Shopping is the DEVIL!!! I wasted a couple hundred buying jeans that didnt fit... would be too much hassle to return(international shipping blah... hassle and time wasted blah blah... )... so... someones luck.

Music Recommendation: Justin Nozuka's "After Tonight", Soko's "I'll kill her", Ingrid Michaelson's "The way I am", Moloko's "Sing it back", Regina Spektor's "Samson", Bjork and Paul Oakenfolds "Hypnotise", George Nozuka's "With You"(featuring Jdiggz), Seal's "A change is gonna come", Amel Larrieux "Infinite Possibilities", Beyonce's "Halo", Sharon Jones and the dap kings "How do I let a good man down" Nelly Furtado and Keith Urbans "In God's hands", Priscilla Ahns "I have a dream".

Drinking: tons of berry blast smoothies... which is basically a pomengranate, cranberry, banana, blueberry and strawberry blend... HEAVEN in a cup!!!

Wearing: This superfantastic Fruits and passion spray 'Georgia Peach'... it smells so edible... I like live in it...

Reading: his thoughts... lol... Well that and 'The Great Gatsby'... for school

Need: to learn how to wake makeup... I'm talking shadow, eye-liner, blush... the works... I'm a girl dammit!!!

Speaking of girls... I've come to realize that I'm a bit of a lesbian magnet... I've been approached from Canada to Nigeria to London to America... even in the company of very gorgeous girls...
My interpretation: nobody can resist my 'intelligence'... Man, woman, animal or child... lol...

The LAST ENDNOTE: I will be a better blogger and a better love( ) and and a better friend

Be back soon... God is love

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I miss you

I miss you... the girl I once was... with your uncaring attitude and your unattachment... for your ability to be in it but look in on it... to not always say how you feel or what you think... to be so many things to so many people...

I miss you... the girl I once was... with your mature eyes... and your ability to follow through with the 'plan'... your control...

I miss you... the girl I once was... who stood her emotional ground... and... didn't want to cry when it wasn't going the way she wanted even though she knew it was going the way it probably should...

I miss you... the girl I once was... cos you probably wouldn't be here...
... in detrimental 'like'

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Un- Titled

...(yippity yap... blappity blah..)... my girlfriend

hold up... say what?

Hold what up?... aren't you my girl?

No


What are we doing then?

Just being.
I hate titles...


Titles?

Yeah... titles... expectations... whatever. You're good with me... I'm good with you... can't that just be all for now?

I want all of you

I know... and you have as much as I have to give right now...

I love you

I know... you're beautiful.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My Best Friend

is my mirror... the ray of light that shines inside... reflecting my good... deflecting my bad.

She's so pure, positive... and perfect

Beautiful in appearance mind and spirit.... specially sent down to be my sounding board and therapist and shopping partner and music collaborator and confidante and co-conspirator...

Always there to hold my hand... gives me a shoulder to lean on when need one
...the friend with whom I unburden and cry and scream and whine and smile and laugh...

So giving in every way imaginable... I bless the day I met her...

Will love her forever
...and ever...

AND EVER

Monday, October 06, 2008

This feeling...

Is that I-always-want-to-be-around- you always feeling... that I miss you even before you leave feeling... that I think about you in my spare time... and not so spare time... well just cos...

Is that i just want you to hold me... no words, no sounds... just you, me and our thoughts...

Is that wanting to do things for you that I've never done for any other person... that wanting to go outside my comfort zone...that not having a comfort zone

Is that not seeing anything else about you but the beauty of your soul... the honesty... and clarity of mind... the way that you are...

Is that finding the really silly and ordinary things you say really sweet...

Is that sometimes wishing i could crawl inside you and curl up... and just be...

Is the fact that I wore that shirt cos you like the way it looks on...

Is wanting to make sure you're full while I eat

Is that feeling when times flies and not much else matters but our moment...when I forget responsibilities and worries... and just am

Is the way I want to dance for you... and sing to you... and speak your language... and mine...

Is the way you laugh... your very funny and warm laugh... your weird dance... and akward movement...

Is that wanting to see you smile and look at me the way you do

I know it definitely has an expiry date... but in the meantime... I sort of like this feeling...

Thursday, October 02, 2008

His Versace Underwear

Where does her reality end and her fantasy begin...
...The lines are so blurry...

She could be happy... but won't...
...the status quo... expectations... explanations...

It would have to suffice...
... his Versace underwear...

Friday, September 19, 2008

... The walk just ended...

I have been down for so long... Had faith... then lost it... wanted to pray and forgot the words... started to sing... and lost my voice... but as there is a God in heaven... today I found my feet again.

Perhaps this time was meant as a lesson for me...

I've learnt.

You will one day see my name in my lights...

My heart smiles... and in this moment I am jiving and sambaing to the rythm of my joy... dance with me if you can keep up.

When I get off this high... I will thank you all for your kind words and calls and emails... when I get off this high I will take a couple of my close friends out for dinner and dessert... they prayed for me when I forgot how...

... The walk... that very long walk I took... just ended...

The best is yet to come

Sunday, August 31, 2008

I probably won't want to read this when I get back...

3 nights ago... past midnight... I walked for over 2 hours... in the direction of my thoughts... I was supposed to have it figured out by the time I got back... I didn't...

2 days ago... I ate about 12 times the entire day... maybe there'd be an answer there... there wasn't...

I knelt to pray... and drew a blank... I'd talked to God about this a few years ago... and it became crucial this past year... I tried... I've really been trying to put things together... to move on to the next chapter... but NOTHING

For the past few weeks.. I havent really slept... I wake up at odd hours... sleep at odd hours... I who once slept through fire alarms and ambulances right beside my window... now wake up when my door is opened...

I'm scared... and stressed... and s...

This morning I woke up with tears in my eyes.... I've been crying for over 2 hours... still don't feel any better..

It's not sadness... or depression... more of that feeling you have when you feel like it's over... like you are over...
you don't really talk about it... at least not much... cos you're supposed to be this happy person who has it figured out ... or is at least in the process... plus everybody has their own issues to deal with anyways... so you smile through the pain and hmmm encouragingly when they tell you their own frustrations... cos perhaps through listening to theirs... you'll forget yours... but you don't... its there... everyday... every single day... especially as the date looms nearer... and you doubt anything will happen to make things turn around...

Nothing feels better... absolutely nothing... Not food... not friends... not shoes.. not family... not Music... Nothing... they just serve as temporary distractions until... your thoughts come home again... you just want to roll into a big wall and be transported to another time... you know... to just skip this part...

An honest silly mistake with a document... and my entire universe is in shambles around me... I can't find the pieces... and don't have the superglue to put it back together...

At the lowest I've been... I made a muck of things... It was hard for me... and I told somebody... who was supposed to help out a little... and dissapointed like most people end up doing... I was supposed to be able to do this by myself anyways... but I've failed...

Disconnected from my world... my life... from me... I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT FIGURED OUT BY NOW... AND ALL I FEEL IS DESPAIR...

I think I'll take another walk now... I should wear comfortable shoes... cos this is probably going to be a long one...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

2 years on blogspot...

I'm 22... It's my 2nd year anniversary as well as my 200th post on blogspot... so this is like a double or triple celebration...

I could go on and on about the great time I've had on here... the great friends I've made... the great things I've learnt... but I won't... I feel like you already know...

you also know of my music obsession with Awilo Longomba, Celine Dion and Oliver De Coque... my feelings on Cranberry juice, travel, bright nail polish, and gay pride festivals... what kind of food I like to eat. You know about my mom, my sister... my uncle... my dad. You know about my ex-boyfriends and my current entanglements (ish) and my great passion for 3 inch heels. You know about my fish.... my faith, my height, my preference in guys. You know more about me than you possibly care to, I'm sure.

I'm actually thinking of taking a little break from blogspot... hopefully it'll be really short... but there are some things I need to put in order right now...
...If and when I do... my whoop of joy will be heard around the world...

In the meantime... I want to say thanks to every single person in my life that has contributed anything positive... in person, through words, on here... in prayer... you're in mine... and I love you all completely...

A song that sort of echoes how I feel at the moment is Marvin Sapp's "Never could've made it"... I cry every single time I hear it... there's beauty in God... and in the human spirit.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Things I want right now...

My toes kissed.

I want a library card cos I'd rather spend my money on summer dresses and green nail polish, a trip to the Vatican, bright orange heels, Janet Jackson's discipline album, a tattoo, BEBE snakeskin heels (IN MY SIZE DAMMIT!!!), oversize white blazer with shiny silver buttons, a strawberry banana smoothie with green apple and lychee jelly, a black sequined mini-skirt(I know...two seasons after...), JETBLACK straight hair(for zee), another studded rocker belt, a male movado watch(a friend is getting me a deal on it... SUPERYAY!!!), Laura Mercier green glittery eyeliner(I'd start wearing makeup just to get to wear this... )

I want a super-fantastic tailor to sew some ankara that I'll wear for my friends sisters wedding, flavoured chapstick, Evisu distressed skinny jeans and John Legend for lunch.

I want a belted,black one-piece bathing suit to wear to my friends upcoming birthday party, and to go to the zoo before the summers over.

I want a giant snow-white clutch, neon blue nails, black leather jacket and a Sophie Kinsella book.

I want to see Dark Knight, Stepbrothers and the bunny movie when it comes out, Asa's album... her single Jailer is one of the most important songs to come out of Nigeria in a while...

I want my computer back... to go to a Jill Scott concert before I'm 23, bigger wardrobe space, Duffy's album, Erykah Badu's new fragrance with Tom Ford(I too would love to smell like an afro and long nails), new bug glasses as I just broke my favorite pair.

I want cauliflower stew, cottage cheese(I've never tasted it alone), the receipt for a gold bracelet I bought recently and broke the same day, spicy beef ball noodle soup from the thai place near my old workplace, to one day behold the angel of dance that is Mia Michaels on so you think you can dance...

I want to apologize to my big sisters T,U,M,A... we haven't spoken in so long and it's my fault... please forgive me... I will be better... I love you

I want to wear something completely inappropriate like a ballgown and flip-flops to buy canned tomatoes at the convenience store near my house...
...think I just might...


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Seemingly out of my mind...

He first offered to give me a $20, 000 SUV
...and I said no...

now... a CLK Mercedes
... the answer is still no...

...I hate expectations...

Friday, July 18, 2008

Zion

...Turns out he's Grenadian... not Jamaican
...6ft 3 not 6ft 1...

Unlike Marley who's more of a 'pretty-boy' dread... Zion is the 'I-don't-eat-meat-and-every-other-day-spit-quasi-'conscious' phrases-about-the-state-of-the-world'...

Zion has a couple of tattoos... my favorite is the one of his neck(more because of it's placement than for the rubbish it actually says... )

Apparently, he's fascinated by the way I talk, my laugh... thinks I'm crazy and cute...

He's cool... but sometimes feels like an old character in a new book...
you know...

Taller than me.... CHECK
Sexy(actually make that sexy-as-hell)... CHECK
Gorgeous car... DOUBLE CHECK(dudes pushing FIRE!)
We laugh... CHECK

But I'm not sure he'd know what 'androgynous' means... or understand why I'd rather listen to Imogen Heap and Jill Scott than Styles P(though I'm sure Mr. P is a great gentleman...)
...he has, however, said he finds most things I do/say charming and unexpected...

I don't know how to explain it... but I somehow feel a little above it... sort of been-there-done-that ish...

He's really adorable sometimes... and in other times... he comes off as really intense.

I've had relations with his kind of guy in the past(I'm just not sure it's something I'm still excited about...)

He is really good company though... so in the meantime... we hang.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Snippets...

From last nights conversation...

2.00am
Marley: Ok.. but I need to know who this guy is... the guy who's taking up all my time...

Me: (laugh) What are you talking about?

Marley: On the real... who is he?

Me: I have no clue what you're talking about... besides you don't hear me asking you about any girls...

Marley: Overwhelmed Naija Babe(he always calls me by my first and last name...)when I have you... what else I need? It's you babe

Me: lol... right...

Marley: So... I'm listening...

Me: Nobody man... there are people who like me... but don't worry about it... it's you(right now)

Marley:...right... seriously though... tell em to keep off... I'm coming for what's mine...

2.45am...
Marley: I miss you babe

Me: miss u too ugly...

Marley: lol... there you go fronting again... you know you think I'm sexy...

Me: Sexy oshi wo? My friend go and sit down...

Marley: I'm too sexy for myself... everything sell off... Indomie boy...

Me: lmao... Indomie boy? lol... where the hell'd you get that one from... ridiculous... haha

Marley: haha... don't worry about that... but just be ready for it... very soon I'll be sending you some modeling pictures...

Me: Modeling? Who has been lying to you this boy? That person didn't tell you that cute guys are no longer in style? So while others are busy stacking their millions... you want to sit in front of a camera... twirling your dreadlocks and taking photographs... I see... pretty ricky buruku... lol... dont kill me...

Marley: lmao... haha... oh my gosh... haha

3.10am...
Marley: I miss your smile

Me: ahhhh(I'm silent cos I don't ant to think about the fact that I miss his smile)

Marley: I'd do anything to give you a hug right now...

Me: (smile and 'heart-sob')... ahhhhhhh

Marley is beyond adorable.... he's really silly and makes me laugh and he's gorgeous(just don't tell him I think so...) and really really nice. He talks and he listens and he is... the last guy I kissed...

BUT

I'm still reluctant to put a title on 'this'.. he's asked me to be his girlfriend numerous times... I never respond(ed)... the distance is still a problem...

I'm comfortable though... so in the meantime... it's anybodys game...
If I meet somebody I like(whos closer)... then so be it.

Next up: Sushi date with a friend tonight...
...and tomorrow I'll probably see the new dread(sexyass 6ft1 25 year old Jamaican guy with dreads for days... and perhaps the day after see Obiora... )

...Perhaps I already have what I'm looking for...

Friday, July 04, 2008

His is the name of kings...

…but for the purposes of this blog I’ll call him “Obiora”- it means ‘heart of the people’

…He’s 6ft 5 and quiet and straight and not-homophobic and nice…
Oh and get this… NIGERIAN!!!

He picked me up on Tuesday to see a movie and to watch the fireworks display…
I was super-pissed cos I’d slammed the door on my hand and broken 3 nails trying to bring in my laundry ( I love the look and smell of clothes drying outside in the summer…)

…that and he was late…

I gave him some grief… 'I make people wait not the other way around' I said
… he apologized…then laughed.

We get along very well… cos I make fun of him a lot and he GETS it… (and secretly loves it… but won’t admit it cos he probably thinks I’d stop…

what can I say... I’m excitingly disagreeable)

So we got to the fireworks just as it was ending…so we just went to the theater and watched ‘Wanted’.

He opened a few doors and waited for me to go in first…

He looked into my eyes a few times… held my drink a few times… put his hand around my shoulders a few times…

An hour and a bit later…the movie was over.

Good movie… good laughs… good conversation

He dropped me home… and as I kissed his cheek goodnight…
HE MOVED IN FOR THE LIPS

…ummm….

Why?

Why not?

No… why though?

You’re beautiful

…that explains it…

I had thought about the possibility of the kiss earlier… but his mouth looked a bit apologetic like it was already sorry for wrongs he hadn’t yet committed
…maybe it was the lighting…

He is a simple guy…

I’ve done strange, quirky, silly… even plain ol’ unacceptable…
…but never simple…

He wears simple clothes and drives a simple car… and his words are… simple.

He doesn’t look at me simply though

When I get home… I called my girls and said I thought we’d be great friends…

… I just spoke to him a few minutes ago… he said something really profound… like he could see me… I mean really really see me…

… perhaps this simple guy is not so simple afterall…

His is the name of kings

Monday, June 30, 2008

Happy Pride...

The 28th annual Pride Festival, celebrating gay and lesbian rights, went down in my city yesterday…

Just like last year, I put on a short skirt and flats and tons of sunscreen and went to have a grand ol’ time with some of the most gorgeous people on the planet…

Ran into many icons of the gay community… all wonderful wonderful people

Lola with her gorgeous tutu and uncovered boobs was hilarious… squirting water on my chest before we took a picture…

Michelle ‘the drag queen of the universe’ Ross smashed the competition with her flawless Diana Ross and Rihanna impersonations…

Ill Nana ripped up the stage with their splits, high octane jumps and kicks, plies and stomps… fierceness!!

My Nigerian drag queen friend Mandy put on his gele and lipstick and ‘Mariam Makeba’d” everybody to joy…

Though I didn’t end up going to her show… the most important drag queen in the universe RuPaul performed… and I heard it was the business… YOU BETTER WORK!!!

The sexyass black Motorola guy wore underwear even smaller and tighter than what we had on last year…

The Trojan guys were still out in full effect… as were the Td boys… all beautiful men…

The Chinese drag- geishas I recognized from last year… looking even more gorgeous…

Old friends, new friends and everybody inbetween… it was like a reunion of sorts…

I got approached by a few lesbians…
…got kissed by a gay guy… by mistake… and proceeded to hook him up with my sexyass friend… lol

Took so many pictures… had some drinks… tons of conversation… and dancing…

I probably go on too much about this… but I absolutely love Canada for giving people a voice, a chance to love freely… to be themselves.

…in the midst of the madness… I met a boy...
…He’s 6ft5 and quiet and straight and not-homophobic and nice...

Thursday, June 26, 2008

My soul grieves

The love of my Igbo-music-life... Sir Oliver De Coque is dead!!!
...He was supposed to play my traditional wedding... and freestyle my name as I danced in my traditional outfit and 'sprayed' dollars on him... his dancers... him... his guitar... his drums...

Oliver De Coque... one of my best memories of my dad... when he used to play his albums in his green Mercedes as we travelled cross state every christmas to visit my grandparents in the village... when my dad lit up his rothmans and made up silly songs
...'we are home home home for christmas isi azu mangala oporoko... we are home we are home we are home we are home... we are home we are home for christmas'

Oliver De Coque was the first African singer I danced to... the first one I spent my savings on when he played at my grandpas funeral... I danced till I was short of breath...

Oliver... the original freestyler... this man had talent and flair and lyrics and compositions and personality out of this world... which song do I begin from... 'Peoples club?'... 'Funny Identity?'... 'Uwa cholu obi umeani?'... 'Otimpu?'... 'Olisa ka anyi na ayo?'... 'Biri kam Biri?'...

He made music to settle land disputes to...
He made music to crown chiefs with...
He made music to drink palm wine and eat bush meat to...
He made music to get married to...
He made music to make babies to(Igbo babies at least... lol)...

The man was spiritual.... funny... inspirational... philosophical... sexy(lol)...

The lyrics of my favorite Oliver De Coque song 'Identity':
'When i wake up in the morning I go pray to my God/ When i come back in the evening I go pray to my God/Always believe in trying/Nothing comes for nothing/Always do my best and leave the rest to God'
Funny funny identity...

'My papa advise make I play my music with honesty/ My mama advise me make I respect all my seniors/ Always cut my coat according to my size/I no dey promise anything when my power no reach/ My yes is my yes/My no is my no/ I no dey make Iyanga...I'm a simple man by nature.
Funny funny identity...

'When coconut come for up e no dey harm anybody/Coconut get water nobody knows from where e enter/If you do good to me I go thank you for your favour/If you do bad to me na you sabi oh'
Funny funny identity...

'Sometimes when I dress I dress like boy-yo-yo/Sometimes when I dress I dress like chief Obi/I been get bear-bear... my bear-bear is by nature/ Music is my talent thats my identity...'
Funny funny identity...

Tell me that man isn't the Michael Jackson and Coldplay and Kanye West and John Legend and Bono of Africa... try and tell me that...

Oliver... just 60 years old... why couldnt you just stay another 10...

I loved you so Oliver... Your music made me happy... made me laugh... made me smile...

I will remember you always... I will sing your music to my children... I will play you in places where nobody understands a word that you say... I will introduce you to my Yoruba friends and my Jamaican friends and my Angolan friends and my White friends...

You live on...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I hate this

Recently I saw someone I loved when I was younger… loved mindlessly and completely
… the first love letter I wrote and never sent
He was flirting a little… perhaps in memory of times past
… and I missed you

I met a Jamaican guy last week… 6 ft 3, dark and sexy… so funny and smart… attentive. We’re supposed to go see a movie this weekend
… wish it was you

Oh you know RK(that slightly chubby, 6ft tall, cute Jamaican guy I went to high school with)… who used to have the really long braids. He wants to go out for dinner… the movies… talk about Barack Obama, my preference in music… my past life. He wants me STILL
I see his earnestness… and I miss you.

The New American is cuter than you y'know… beautiful smile, lovely eyes, 6ft 7, light as daylight…
…and I haven’t yet returned his call…

There’s a Nigerian guy who came into the picture not long ago… so funny its absurd… so in like with my sometime immaturity and sarcasm and odd laughter. He uses words like rhapsody and perpetuate… reminds me a lot of me. He’s 6ft 2 and dark and cute and…
Not YOU

I hate this

I hate that I miss you more than I see you… that I can’t drive over and hit you when I’m mad and kiss you when I’m glad.

I hate that you’re there and I’m here and, for the reasons that already are, we can’t meet in either place at the moment

I hate your stupid I’m sorrys and I miss yous and the fact that you wouldn’t let me go when I said I didn’t want to do this any longer

I hate the fact that you come with your smile and jokes and easy laughter and… and…

I fucking miss you Marley.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Paralyzed on the corner of Fourteenth and Serenity

I have never written a piece on demand… or anything that isn’t in some way about me

Back from being an absentee blogger and contributor… especially as I won’t have the time to tomorrow…

I picked my pen this morning to start… and…
NOTHING
no words, no thoughts… no echoes.
...No fancy metaphors or funny stories come to mind… no fiery adjectives or flowery words …
NOTHING

In the midst of brilliance… I’m completely blank

The fifth link of the machine… I must make good on a promise to a friend
Write… I must

I hope I find my feet by June 3rd, 2008 cos right now I’m just sitting here…
…paralyzed on the corner of Fourteenth and Serenity.

Friday, May 16, 2008

6 unspectacular quirks

So my 2 week (to England) vacation ended up being longer than 2 weeks. I got in just a little over 24 hours ago… battling a cold/ cough/jetlag though my newly done light brown curls do help matters quite a bit. I had a fantastic time… details will follow when I get my bearings (I’ll probably be 5 hours ahead for the next few days).

In the meantime, I got multiple tagged to do a ‘6 unspectacular quirks’ tag…

  1. I am completely loyal to the people I love… love the people they love, hate the people they hate. Sometimes it gets me in trouble.
  2. I abhor underwear… wouldn’t wear any if I didn’t have to. Actually there have been times…
  3. I carry my phone charger and passport with me everywhere I go. The charger thing is probably a carry-over from my high school days when my mom used to seize our chargers after any disagreements (we apparently spent too much time on the phone with our ‘male callers’.. lol)
  4. (Apparently) I snore
  5. I hate the sound of Styrofoam… one can get me to do almost anything to avoid it… arghhhh
  6. I am not circumsized

I tag anybody who thinks they can do a better British accent than me

Friday, May 02, 2008

Canadians with a difference

We're in London babyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I love itttttttttt in spite of the 6pm close of just about every store in the nation... the dry, drab, rainy weather...

I Love the fish and chips with vinegar and their Covent garden with its beautiful theaters and fantastic shops and nice bars#

I love sainsburys with its endless variations of chocolates and cookies and... oh Gosh I think I'm gonna get fat here...

I love their double decker buses... the tubes and their funny accents and their oyster cards and travel cards

I love the Gallery... had a BLast there last night with my girlies... the DJ kept shouting out the 'girls from Canada'... I went to the bathroom and two lesbians approached me with 'how sexy I was'... I'm beginning to wonder if I give off a vibe... nah... I think it's the legs.... lol. Danced to every song till we left... fantastic cocktails... love the music here and the people are sooo nice...

I think we look like obvious tourists cos I sometimes dress abnormally(to them at least)... when they're bundled up in jackets and furs and uggs... we step out in flats, skirts and a trench... But we're Canadian... we're used to worse...

Next up: Lunch with some friends at oxford circus today... clubbing tonight... a wedding tomorrow... Karaoke later on tomorrow... and other things that will unfold in due time.

LOVING THIS!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Another day... another proposition

My boss likes me
...Arghhhhh...

Friday, April 18, 2008

Next stop... London, England

In less than a week... I leave these shores for England... home of wrong-side-of-the-road driving, lentil Soup and Victoria Beckham.

Land of my birth... It'll be my first time back since I left.
16 years it's been... 16 years... 192months... 768 weeks... 5376 days...

I never imagined it would take this long

In the 16 years since I left... I have lived so much...

This time I go back not with the ones I left... we'll do that when we're ready... visit the places we lived, the people we knew...

This time I will go and create new memories...
14 days with 6 of my best friends in one house...

Armed with red lipstick, 11 of my favorite shoes, a digital camera and the laughter of these girls I love so dearly... I will re-acquiant myself with the taste and the sound and the sights of England.

With my gorgeous friends...
I will go to Buckingham palace and tell my best 'yo mama' jokes to the guards... to the London zoo to see how animals sound with British accents, to numerous pubs to investigate the difference between Molson Canadian Beer and whatever they have on the continent... to Madam Tussauds to audition in front of the Simon Cowell wax figure... to the bridge where Osuofia told that girl to stop wearing mini-skirts... to the Shakespeare theatre... to the best fish and chips places... to the London zoo and art centers and museums and castles and cathedrals...

You might see me on your streets... preceded by racous laughter... 6 girls with Canadian accents and Canadian jokes and Canadian digital cameras...
How you'll know it's me is... stop and ask for my name...

Macbeth Palagutsa

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Nigeria... in pictures


Roadside yam and plaintain in Lagos... soooo yummy...


Mr Biggs food... hated the meatpie... tasted different.
Chivita Pineapple juice rocks!!!


Gordon Sparks at Alpha Beach... loved it. Went horse-back riding.


aLpHa bEaCh iN lAgOs...beautiful and so much fun.





Nigeria's McDonalds Fruit market...


Victoria Garden City- Paradise. We did a bit of house-hunting... fun.


Funcity in Lagos... Europe...


Dude put his wheelbarrow aside to pee on the street... lol


The 2nd best sUyA I had


The zoo in Owerri... they have a 'dead zoo' inside the real one...lol.. exciting


Pig sty... Dead monkey...lol


My aunt fried eggs on firewood... funny as hell but delish


Unripe plantain porridge and a sexy young village girl... lol


Gorgeous pineapple showing and provision store


Akamu for breakfast... and Dreamland in Owerri... fantastic live show... this girl was a MAD dancer... I got so much money sprayed on me while I boogyed down as the singer was crooning about 'Overwhelmed from Canada'



Stadium in Owerri... Delicious Isi-ewu and star beer... I gained weight happily


Fantastic snails... lol... I'm such a foodie


Stream in my mom's village.... and some game thing at a masquerade festival I went to


So many people at the masquerade festival and my little cousin drunk... haha

National Theater in Lagos, some fresh fish at a restaurant in Lagos... tetrazini I think

Grilled Fish at Military Base, Lagos.... and point and kill fish at Papa Izus in Ajao Estate... lol... I told you I'm a foodie...


Overloaded truck... lol.... Christ Embassy Headchurch in Ikeja... was sooooo HUGE


Ofada rice ROCKS!!!


Baby Masquerade... and a Bigger Masquerade... it was so much fun... I heard a lot of them actually use charms...



Okada(Motorcyle) Ride with 4... I went on these a few times without my moms consent... lol... sooo thrilling




Monday, April 07, 2008

Mummy Sunday 18

I started writing my Mummy Sundays about 18 months ago… ironic that this is my 18th one. I dedicate it to the angel who made me start writing them… the woman who gave of herself so selflessly to her ailing mother, who lived for her mother… who smiled in the face of adversity…


FOR LONDONBUKI and her MOTHER

Though I have slacked off recently, I was inspired to start writing about my mother because of LondonBuki and her dedication to her mother… her Mummy Mondays.

Rain or shine, every Monday, she penned her devotional to her mother. On days when she didn’t have the internet available, she braved the elements(sometimes really chilly weather), went to Internet cafes to write something about the beautiful woman who birthed her… the triumphs and setbacks, how her mom teased her sometimes, how her mom danced, how her mom cooked, how her mom laughed… her moms hair, her moms love… Her Mom.

LondonBuki washed her moms hair, cut her toenails, lotioned her skin, sang her songs, read her books… told her mother what was happening out there in the world while she rested.

She ran a marathon and dedicated it to her mother… she wasn’t ashamed to ask for prayers and none of us were ashamed to give them to her.

I started writing Mummy Sundays because I had never before experienced such dedication in a person towards their mother before LondonBukinot fictional… not in real life… I cried so many times reading her Mummy Mondays… she’s such a beautiful person… and I really am inspired by her… I drew strength from LondonBuki’s strength… I celebrated her joys… and I will tell you she’s as nice outside of blogsville as she is inside… she's absolutely gorgeous and smart and really witty and razz when she wants to be... so knowledgeable and has the best 'Nigerian girl' hair I've ever seen

It’s incredibly sad that her mom didn’t make it… she passed away last week… I cried when I heard… so I can’t begin to imagine how she feels… I don’t really know any great words of consolation to say cos I don't even understand... I really want to ask why... I'm sure somebody would say 'Gods time is the best'... it's just really hard for me to grasp that ...

There’s a song I used to listen to as a child when I was going through HELL and missed my mother so much I didn’t know if I could survive it…

I don’t know who sings it or the words to the entire song… but I sing it for you now my darling:

“He’s always there… to brighten up your days… always there in everyway… when its cold and dreary and your faith is growing weary… you don’t have to be afraid… he’s always there just ask for what you need… he’ll be there if you believe… open up your heart… invite him to come in… he’ll turn your life a round and change you from within… waiting to care”

You are blessed for the rest of your life LondonBuki… your mom smiles at you from heaven, as does God… and he will give you the strength to go on… and to deal with this… you and everybody else who loved her… my prayers and my heart is with you during this difficult time.

I love you my angel.

Your friend

Overwhelmed Naija Babe

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Spring has spoken

  • The Escada perfume I got for my birthday...
  • My new purple and gold leather tote. It's incredibly huge and flashy and I love it
  • My new Patricia Field drag shoes. I probably can't wear those in 'polite company' but every girl needs a pair of drag queen shoes in her closet and now I have two!!!
  • The return of my darling Jolene from the winter wonderland he went to for months. I think I'll wear my drag shoes to go diamond 'shopping' with him at Tiffanys (lol... memories... and I'LL ask him to marry me this time!)
  • Working out to Britney Spears "Blackout" album (so high- energy and fun). My next purchase will be Janet Jackson's "Discipline".
  • Tennis bracelets... and my 2 Tigerhead bracelets... one of which my best friend got me for my birthday. So funky... I wear them with everything.
  • My first organic cotton purchase... a black 3/4 sleeved blazer. Doing good for the environment never looked so good.
  • I'm thinking of changing my name again... from Olive to Venus.
  • Matching coloured mani and pedis.
  • Maxi dresses in various patterns and prints are one of my most recent addictions. I already own 8 and still can't get enough.
  • Black gladiator sandals... there's something so stark about them that I find incredibly sexy. I got a pair on my trip to New York 2 days ago... they're satin and studded with dark stones... so cute my best friend just had to get a pair. We're counting down the days until we can wear em.
  • I blog-miss my big sister SOUL everyday
  • Gongo Aso... heard it first at a club in Nigeria and went mad. It still gets me on my feet everytime... totally the new yahoozee. Imagine that, Lori le and soty malaria are hot on its heels though.
  • My guess highwaisted jean shorts... they're a bit tight... but the workouts are coming along so by summer I should be set.
  • My student agenda
  • Someone I love has found Love... and I LOVE it
  • Jill Scotts 'Come see me' on her 2007 'the real thing' album (I feel a life in a song coming onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn)
  • Mozilla Firefox... I love the multiple tabs
  • Green has taken over last years yellow as my favorite new colour this spring.
  • Manzillas(stuffed olives)... I can eat a jar of this stuff in a day.
  • I'm heartbroken for my friend who recently lost her mother... there simply are no words of comfort good enough, no justification that makes enough sense... Absolutely nothing. All I can offer are my open arms, prayers and hope that as time goes by she will continue to think of her mother with smiles and not tears. God bless you my darling... I have learnt so much from you. You really are one of my heroes.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Plan A

  • Joined a female gym today.
Will miss ogling sexy muscular men at co-eds... but this facility is fantastic... more personalized, intimate and convenient- location wise.
... the goal is to loose about 20 pounds in 2 months, get a six- pack in 3 months and walk for breast cancer in 6...

  • I meet with a trainer tomorrow to design a workout that I'll switch up every 3 weeks to stave off monotony and check progress.

  • Will take kick-boxing group classes on Wednesdays and Saturdays

I'm toasting to love, money, sexier bodies and the presence of mind to enjoy all three

CHEERS

Friday, March 21, 2008

Love Triangle

The Jehovah Witness called me last night... I was joking, giving him grief about something he'd done. He went silent.. and then...

"Overwhelmed... I have to talk to you about something"

'What unreasonable thing do you have to tell me this time... I still haven't forgiven you for what you...'

"I'm in love with you"

'huhn?'

"I want a real relationship with you"

'HUHN?!?!?!?!' ummm... as I was saying...

"Overwhelmed I love you... want you to be my girlfriend... quit playing"

'Ummm... ummmmmmmmmm'

"What you say?"

'I don't know'

"K... I'll call you back"

'No... don't go... just give me a second here'

"Gotta go... I'll call you later"
CLICK

It's taken 5 years to hear him say this... but I'm so confused.

There was a time I would've cried for joy... a time when I would've shouted it from the rooftops
When I was 17... 18... maybe even 19

But I'm 22... I no longer wear silver cross pendants and talk to guys in Jordan jumpsuits and cornrows or NBA Jerseys and think Bryan Butler is the hottest thing since sliced bread.
*So why didn't I say no to the Jehovah Witness?!?!*

I'm so comfortable with My Jehovah Witness... he's watched me grow... I puppy loved him as a teenager... and still like him as a semi-adult. I love having him around... He's so caring and sweet, goes out of his way for me... accepts me just the way I am... has seen me at my WORST... comforted me through countless ordeals... always has a kind word to say...

Marley I am in like with... such a beautiful man... so caring... laughs at himself... and me. He excites me... we have silence... and words... and smiles. He has seen me angry and happy and a few things inbetween and thinks I'm a queen... I feel like we still have so much to learn about each other... and it's going...

Now this...
Why? After 5 years?
... why can't I decide?...

The Old? The New?

Marley's coming to see me in a few days...

... and My Jehovah Witness just texted to say he's on his way NOW...

...I'm torn...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

A Bed Of Thorns

You
Yes... YOU
You fucking 'grown-pubescent' bastard who hurt my friend
You fucking degenerate animal who looked her in the eyes and lied
Lied... and cheated
...She who loved you completely in spite of your many flaws...

Abject misery, Endless pain... A bed of thorns
One day you, too, will cry.