Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Traditional D(ist)ress

My friend 'Complex Simplicity' is graduating from my University in about two months...

I’ve known Complex simplicity since I started, we hung out quite a bit, but usually as part of the group. She’s fun, smart, beautiful, witty, a wonderful dancer (most of my friends are now that I think of it)

I feel as though in recent weeks, I’ve gotten to really know her. She’s strong like you won’t believe… I admire her ability to be the way she is after all she’s gone through…

She has a very odd imagination however... the one person I know who finds humour in horror... lol
…a bigger il divo fan I’m yet to meet…

So we’re all very proud of her… cos she’s the very first one to graduate in our ‘dance circle’. Were going to miss her terribly… her graduation however is in a few weeks so I have time to gush later.

See the thing is that Complex Simplicity (living up to her name) has decided that the whole crew must wear traditional outfits to her graduation.

Problem:

I don't have any traditional outfits... ankara, lace or anything inbetween...

I remember wearing my very first lace-wrap when I was 8 on my way to ch
urch… and my wrapper falling down in broad daylight exposing my hoo-haa(well technically I had on a 'shimi' and underwear but I was emotionally scarred nonetheless)
…in the 13 years since the incident, I can’t say I’ve felt any particular desire to wear anything traditional(except when I had to for my paternal grandparents funerals- God rest their souls)

Now I pretty much don't have a choice

So I have about a month to pick up a material... and style... AND get it made...
This would be quite simple if not for the fact that not only have I NOT found a tailor yet, I don't even have any particular style in mind

… I have seen some gorgeous traditional pieces over the years but never paid particular attention as I didn’t think I’d actually have to wear one.

I want a fab… slightly unexpected outfit…

I’m going fabric shopping next week with my girl(s) so over the next few days I’ll be looking at designs. I haven’t been able to find a great many traditional designs online and I’m one of the odd(er) Nigerians who just found out about Ovation magazine last year and of course don’t own a copy.

Solution:

I’ve basically been thinking of ‘western’ designs that translate traditionally (thanks Geisha).

I need HELP.

I’d appreciate any suggestions, pictures, drawings, ideas… web links right here on my blog or in my inbox (overwhelmednaijababe@gmail.com)

I’m currently leaning more towards a dress but I’m open to other things…

CONGRATS Complex Simplicity… we’re SOOO proud

Saturday, September 22, 2007

What A Mighty God We Serve...

Sometimes we get hung up on the stress... the distress
Even more than our problems, sometimes Life itself starts to weigh us down...
Questioning ourselves... questioning God...


Why me? Why not me?
WHY?!?!?!


We try to keep our heads up and fight through it... to keep a cheerful smile
...but when we go to bed at night... we cry...
You've done it for others Lord... you told me you loved me... you told me you'd take care of me...
Why hasn't it come?! Why do you let others look down on me Lord?!?! Why do you let my enemies rejoice Father?!?!?!

You pray every day and every night... every night and every day... waiting on him... patiently on him...
Then... sometime... somewhere... a tiny beacon of hope... its finally happening...
Then you find out its a mirage... a half-actualized illusion... which is infinitely more painful because you know you can do it... things just aren't going the way they're supposed to...


Then after praying for so long... fasting for so long... waiting for so long...
After all these years...
FINALLY!!!
PREGNANT!!!


You're afraid to hope... but then you want to... this time God... at least this one time...
You talk to him... and tell him you're READY for your miracle... you want to testify to his goodness...


After all these years, YOU CAN because after all these years he hit you with a double blessing...

CONGRATULATIONS SISTER TAYO on your twins
We're so happy for you...
Thank you Jesus for your never-ending kindness...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Clive Owen,

Seeing as we will soon become man and wife… I’d love for you to tell me what name you’re most comfortable with… C? Cli? CliveO?

… after watching you last weekend in Shoot Em Up… I have decided you’re the one for me.

Boy you were FIRE!!! I have never felt so about a greasy dude in my life… something about your sexy tussled hair, that black coat, stubbly chin, intense eyes kept calling my name… and don’t get me started about the carrot
Boy the things you did with that carrot... you stabbed people with it… bored through brains… operated guns… locked doors… flipped stations… Beta Carotene never looked so good.

What sold me on you Clive was your unsmiling face through it all… the exact reason I thought Steven Seagal was the most gorgeous guy on the planet for years and years… non-smiling is a talent… an art if you will… and blessed are those who have it…

Speaking of talent… Clive you were perfection in ‘Closer’… even besides the flawless beauty of Jude Law… your gravelly smoothness was something to watch.

Shoot Em Up is possibly the best movie I have seen the entire year (yes I did watch Bourne Ultimatum). I usually hate it when movie commercial voiceovers call every summer movie a ‘non-stop explosive’ with ‘action that will have people gripping the edge of their seats’… but I find myself repeating those same words…
You had humour… dark humour… dirty humour… sarcasm… you were singing my life with your gun…

The dialogue was so witty… your comebacks I wanted to wear as a jacket. Each scene blended into the next one seamlessly… 90 minutes went by like 9… your reactions matched their actions…

Based on your performance in this movie... I have decided to pick up my cross and 20 pairs of my favorite stilettos and follow you… we’ll buy more along the way…

Ok so maybe the scene with the ‘air’ fight wasn’t that believable… but hey does anyone actually look for reality in movies other than ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Lord of the rings’?

Clive for you I will step out of my comfort zone:
. I will cook your meals:
Jollof rice (Nigerian wikipedia calls it a fry-fry mixture of onions, pepper, tomatoes, chicken and rice with groundnut oil)

Omo tuo ni nkatie nkwanyi, a Ghanaian meal of rice balls and groundnut soup that is every bit as proteinous as it sounds…

Carrot- pineapple- coconut cake

Anything outside this menu… we’ll make use of the yellow pages or go to the Ivy(which I'd prefer actually)… just giving you a heads-up before you start expecting me to show up on movie sets with cupcakes and ‘caviar bolognaise’
This girl will not be ‘stepford-wifed’…

. I will bear your children… I’ll dress our first girl in orange nail polish and put black bows in her hair. She will compete in “So You Think You Can Dance’s” 28th season. The other children can figure things out for themselves as they go along

Clive I’m a very patient, very sweet girl… although I will not hesitate to rip you another hole if you decide to cheat on me with my sexy binshes Londonbuki, Idemili or Soul. I know you’re tired of British babes anyways with their nasal accents and ‘leek soup’ appetizers… I’ll feed you maple syrup and we’ll watch Ice hockey together and go for romantic rendezvous in Igloos up north….

I look great in yellow…

I have excellent retentive memory… I can actually recite Avogadros law in Yoruba…'avogadros law lo so wipe equal volume of all gases at the same temperature and pressure contain the same number of molecules’.

So I’m black… Nigerian to be exact… I heard you like blondes… but don’t worry. I have highlights… courtesy of afro-beauty supplies... and they come off too...

And most importantly… I can hold my liquor.

Let me know when you’re ready to announce our engagement… I want to book ad space in Ovation Magazine…


Your sugar…
Overwhelmed Naija Babe… you can call me Whelmed or Olive…

Monday, September 03, 2007

Cranberry

I love cranberries with a passion that’s not my own… a passion of the same magnitude that Marilyn Monroe had for diamonds in the charming 1957 classic ‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes’

Cranberry is the colour of my heart...

I buy cranberry herbal tea bags, crystallized cranberry tea, cranberry flavoured cheesecake, cranberry muffins, cranberry pies, cranberry waffles and similar pastries.

I’d rather cranberry juice than any other… and lace it with anything from vodka to rum for a ‘boozier taste’
(Note that said ‘lacing’ usually only occurs on some weekends… in bars, clubs or other places of group dancing… I decided from a very young age to experience life sober)

I love ‘cranberry-chunked’cereal… but the general mill and even kelloggs versions pale in comparison to my favorite(st) cereal in the whole wide world… Woodland Berry Granola (WBG)

If it were a singer, Woodland Berry Granola would be a Celine Dion… high notes and heart-felt harmonies ($5000 more for alliteration please)

If it were a song, WBG would be Sheryl Crow and Sting’s “Always by your side”… delightful and definitely NOT ‘over-played’

Woodland Berry Granola is a Manolo Blahnik of a cereal if you will… not for the price… but the make… the aesthetic as well as digestive appeal.

The slightly sweet taste of almonds juxtaposed against the tart and tang of cranberries in a crunchy granola background… it’s almost too much… an embarrassment of taste one might say.

Fact: There is an awesome punk rock group named ‘The Cranberries’.
(no… I’m not prejudiced because they name themselves after this fruit I adore… I like them as a result of their lyrics, musical arrangements and umm vocal abilities)

Fiction: All addictions are bad.
I realize it might seem like a bad idea to have any addiction at all… but considering what other ‘celebrities’ my age are getting into these days… drugs, booze fests and all-around craziness… I think a little ‘cranberry’ overload can and should be forgiven

Having said that, I really do hope that someone in ‘cranberry power’ reads this and gives me a discount or something cos I’m running a bit low on funds right now
… yes I conveniently blame my depleting funds on cranberry(ed) stuff and not my recent ‘For September’ shopping expedition.

Speaking of expeditions, I just might have found my Halloween Costume… which means for the first time ever I might actually have a theme as opposed to the past when I just wore my own clothes, some cleavage and red lipstick and claimed to be dressed as Salma Hayek.
(lol… two Halloweens ago… hey… I was a teenager then and ‘costumers’ got into the club for free… lol).