Friday, August 31, 2007

Life in a Song 5


Even my cybersis simply can’t believe that I don’t own a portable music player...

I’m terrible with technology… I will admit that I am slightly attracted to the idea of carrying my favorite tunes in a place other than my head/ computer… but then it’ll take away valuable time I use to think… write… and life as I know it might cease to exist…

But this post isn't about my lack of music-technology-knowledge... it's about the beautiful Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony ballad ‘Escapemonos’

Like its title suggests, the song is entirely in Spanish, a language I speak nothing of. Granted I used to have a Spanish housemate Vanessa, and she introduced me to guacamole, Latin dancing and Tony who simply couldn’t understand how I could not be interested in him despite the fact that he was funny, handsome, intelligent, extremely wealthy, completely disregarding the fact that he was 4 inches shorter than me (without heels…. Um no thanks)

But I digress…

Escapemonos is a beautiful song… I can’t say anything about the lyrics cos I don’t know what they mean… and I lost Vanessas number along with my old phone…

–But I can say something about the emotion in their voices…

Marc Anthony’s voice is as haunting as Jennifer’s is sweet
His voice asks the questions… and hers provides the answers…

There’s something about foreign language ballads that just make me feel as though we feel deeper, love harder… something about them suggests there’s no alternative...

A big Jennifer Lopez fan, I’m one of the people who actually got her Rebirth album and know every single cut on it… find it beautiful and heartfelt…

I’m also of the opinion that she sings better in Spanish… and even better when she sings with Marc… it’s as though he sees the her that nobody else does…

There’s a simmering fire in her voice… as though she’s finally found home and a level of comfort she never had…

Escapemonos is like the Spanish answer to the Italian ‘Somos Novious’ by Andrea Bocelli and Christina Aguilera… a gorgeous song that tells heart-truths… of loves lost and love found.

The emotion in this song is so strong it’s almost tangible…

It’s a song I imagine “So you think you can dance’s” Mia Michaels would choreograph and bring tears to my eyes like she did with the contemporary piece Ivan and that other girl danced to... or the one Heidi and Travis did to the Celine Dion song.

To be able to listen to this song on the move... I might actually purchase a bloody Ipod... hopefully it doesn't go the way of the 9 cellphones that I've used in the past 2 years...


Thursday, August 23, 2007

One Year on Blogspot

…with tons of questions that I didn’t have any answers to… to relive certain memories and to try to forget others…

On this blank black background, exactly one year ago… I started blogging.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe:

He probably doesn’t even remember this, but Olawunmi once told me a Yoruba saying… something about your name influencing the things that happen to and around you…

I still don’t mind the name Overwhelmed… but I wouldn’t mind being called Olive as well…

Olive means to me intelligence and inner beauty and grace and fun and compassion, individuality and strength and self- love and loyalty and honesty… me.

See I actually love my real name… but I’m one of those weird people that constantly gives myself new names every couple of years.

I initially started with the name thing so I could have a consistent name to give guys I wasn’t interested in without being rude… I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings so I’d rather do a ‘My name is Phoenix but I’m not interested’ bit than ignore the person completely or give them a ‘Beyonce/ Ciara/ Raj’ name that I won’t remember to answer to if the person actually remembers my ‘name’ and tries to call my attention later...

It started out this way… and gradually evolved to the level where I actually take my names quite seriously and put a bit of thought into them… and for that reason will not hesitate to cut a dude for… (if I will get into trouble for saying that… it was a um metaphor… if I won’t… shit… I MEAN it!)

My names are usually a bit abstract …

In Ghana, it was Passionfruit.

A couple of years later, I got bored and changed it to Paradise.

A few months into the name, I knew I liked it but it didn’t excite me beyond measure… or give me particular pleasure when I used it. I decided to go French… ‘Paradisia’ I had a good run out of this one cos people always asked…

Then a year or so ago… I adopted the name ‘Phoenix’. I used this one in serious company… with a straight face… it cracked my friends up. I heard a lot of ‘bird’ metaphors in relation to this one… but it went over pretty well…

I haven’t completely phased ‘Phoenix’ out… but I’m gradually introducing the name ‘Olive’

(and yes I do realize I might be upsetting the ‘p-name’ balance by using Olive… but hey what’s life if one doesn’t take chances?)

Slight digression before I completely forget…I have a mildly funny story about my name Olive … a message someone left me

My Voicemail:

{You have 1 new message left at 10.45pm on July 14 from (***) *3* - 4**9

“Um hi… this is William. I don’t know if you remember me cos we met about 2 weeks ago at _______ but the few times when I’ve tried to call you... your phone has rung off. See I’m not even so sure I have the right person cos I remember you specifically saying your name was Olive but your voicemail says ‘Overwhelmed’… so I’m not even sure… but um if this is Olive… then please give me a call at (***) *3* - 4**9. “

I just laughed and laughed… he was a cutie but I never did call him back. My sister Fire suggested at the time that I tell him Olive is my middle name… lol… but nah… too many explanations. }


Where does Overwhelmed Naija Babe fit into all the names I’ve ever given myself?

I think it’s one of the most honest names I’ve had… the others are more ‘good time’, perhaps slightly fun(ny) ‘sometimes exotic’… completely conceptual

Overwhelmed Naija Babe started out as brutal honesty and truth… has evolved into laughs that try to mask the pain…thoughts like: ‘not-talking-about-it-means-it-will-go-away’… truth that shows up in the dead silence… some healing… truth but in doses that slide down easier with a bottle of vodka… outside suppression that I fight against without knowing who the enemy really is… having ideas… rejecting them… picking them up by the tail… shaking them to see if anything will fall out…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe… knowing that people are stabbing and hugging me at the same time… a slap on my cheek with their right hands and a soothing touch with their left hands… fighting the angels as well as the devils… mental FUCKERY.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe… writing me… loving me… accepting me… celebrating me…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe… genuine smiles… genuine affection… embracing the good… rejecting the bad… standing up for myself…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe… constantly working towards not being a victim of my memories… making COMPLETE peace with me.

One year on blogspot eh…

Here’s to the rest of my journey… wherever it takes me.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

This Tree

Tall and Weak…
Binding roots that uphold but choke me...
supplying water and DDT...

Above the soil you introduce me to sunlight... and just a few hours later... darkness
extreme... numbing darkness

Roots of my tree... what exactly do you want me to be?

Tall and Strong... I am this tree and this tree is me

Saturday, August 18, 2007

My Fish

A good number of my earliest and fondest childhood memories have something to do with fish.

Growing up in England, we always had an aquarium filled with fish of all shapes and sizes.

I can still picture our black rimmed fish tank and climbing up on the chair to feed them for the first time when I was 4 or 5.

I remember putting my hands in the tank to see if the fish would bite or come to me… and my mom reprimanding me time and time again.

I remember feeling so proud when people visited and crowded around our tank to admire our gorgeous fish

Fish meant home… beauty, happiness, tranquility… family.

In the 90’s, we left England… and our fish.

In the 7 or so years that I spent in Nigeria, I never once saw an aquarium that wasn’t being used to store ‘food fish’:

’120 Naira for this one madam… na titus fish… e sweet well well’

’ok because you be fine madam, I go collect 105 Naira for your hand…. 90 too small… abi you want make I waka go back house?’

My fish:

From a ‘pet’ to my ‘pot’

In the one year I spent in Ghana, I never once saw an aquarium that wasn’t being used to store ‘food fish’:

‘chale… e be the correct protein this I want sell you… 20, 000 cedis.. the ‘price’ that’

‘chioo… yellow lady wey di ye… wu ha aduni paaa… mi ma wu 18, 000 cedis… last ‘plice’’

Then I came to Canada on a freezing February night, bundled up in my ‘Ghanaian bought leather jacket’, black kangol hat, dark blue jeans and ‘Canada sent sweater’ and saw something that warmed my heart… told me I had arrived:

It wasn’t the beautiful house we were ushered into, the beautiful room that became ours, the beautiful gifts on the bed in that room…


Once again… beauty, happiness, tranquility… family.

I was home!!!

But right now, I am heartbroken…

Last night, my mom mistakenly turned off the water supply to the aquarium.

We woke up this morning to a tank full of dead fish.

My beautiful, beautiful fish… DEAD!

  • Celine was 9 years old gold and black and white and huge and absolutely stunning… the queen… and oldest in our fish tank. She was a bit of a bully and had a very hearty appetite. RIP my darling… I hope you’re in a better place where you can gorge on ‘fish cheesecake and vodka’ much tastier than your earthly ‘nutrafin’

It was a testament to your size and beauty that every Ghanaian person who visited our home always made a half-meant joke about the possibility of frying you to eat with kenkey and hot pepper… although I’m sure it must’ve been an affront to your dignity.

  • Awilo was 8… and the ‘Tony Blair’ of our aquarium… RIP my gorgeous... everytime I dance to ‘Coupe Bibamba’ from here on out… it’ll be in memory of you.

  • Shina P was 5 years old… and the loner of the tank. He ate when he had to and moved only when he had to... he had a very quiet dignity about him and just took his time with everything. I think he was an orphan or nursing a broken heart or something… and a bit of a pretty boy … I never once saw a string of poo hanging out his ass… his stripes were always fresh to death. A Versace of a fish… our Shina P was.

  • Dr. Evil, Chinua Achebe, X, Nicole, Cashew, Kweku Abrewa Kojohoho and Tombo were the other members of our fish tank family… full of personality and energy… full of life.

… and now they’re ALL gone…

Only two of our newest fish… the 1 year old ‘Rita’ and ‘Geography’ survived it…

We found them struggling to take their last breaths… probably writing ‘fish wills’ and mentally releasing life insurance documents…

We turned the power back on immediately… and so far they look alright.

Celine, Awilo, Shina P.. Dr. Evil, Chinua Achebe, X, Nicole, Cashew, Kweku Abrewa Kojohoho, and Tombo… azu e ji eje mba… ono na iru ona na azuyou are gone but will never be forgotten.

When you get to fish heaven, remember to remain a family and use all the lessons we taught you while you were here…

I love you guys with all my heart and I grieve your loss


(on behalf of the ‘Naija Babe’ family)


Thursday, August 16, 2007

My Favorite Things This Summer:

  • The Colour Yellow: I have so many yellow things I don't even know where to begin... Yellow Short Shorts, Yellow Bangles, Yellow Earrings, Yellow Sundresses, Yellow underwear... Yellow shirts... The only yellow thing I don't own are shoes... I've been looking all over for them but I only found patent stilletos and I'm a bit tired of those... cos they scuff (But don't worry... I don't wear em all at once... lol)
  • That Yahoozee song: I used to go on Omosewas's blog everyday to just listen to that song but now she changed it... so please anybody who has that song... send it to my email: and I will spell out your name on the next cake I bake.
  • Curly Hair: I'm constantly doing curls... I swear by the end of the year... I will convince a lot of white people that this is my natural hair... lol.
  • The Dreamgirls soundtrack... I know every lyric of every song on the album.
  • Huge Cocktail rings: are a current favorite of mine. I used to wear a lot of jewellry when I was younger... layer upon layer of necklaces and stuff. I don't anymore... I never even wear earrings. Bracelets... sometimes... but you'll hardly ever see me without a cocktail ring.... love em to death:
  • Reggae songs: Hula hoop by Macka Diamond, Hot Wuk by Mr. Vegas and Rum Ram by QQ. I'm actually really good at the hula hoop dance... lol... and it's sooo much fun. Although I never quite understand all the Jamaican dance hand gestures(I guess cos there are too many of them... signal the plane, thunderclap, tek wey yourself(this one I actually love), frog back etc)
  • Funky, sky-high stilletos: If I had limitless funds... I'd rather own a pair of these Balenciaga shoes:

as opposed to the more classic Louboutins

But since I don't have limitless funds... I make regular trips to the poor-womans Manolo... Aldo and Le Chateau:
(most people think its crazy that I'm 5 ft 11 and never wear heels lower than 3 inches... e wo lo kaan min be{lol... catwalq jo correct the grammer cos I know Londonbuki can't spell yoruba properly}. I love stilletos with an unchecked passion and have mastered the art of walking and dancing in slightly painful heels for hours and hours and hours... and yes it IS an art)
  • British singers: from Imogen Heap, Dido to Amy Winehouse, Kt Tunstall, Craig David(where are you man?) and even Lagbaja(haaaa). I humbly admit to loving the spice girls... and if they come to my end of the world... I will be there singing viva forever with the best of em. GIRL POWER!!!
  • Lancome Juicy Tubes... my favorites are beach plum, miracle and berry bold.

  • Belly rings and cropped tops:

  • Tuface's Song: I don't even know what it's called but it goes something like 'as you see me so... edumare don bless me oh... but that one no mean say I no dey wish you well oh'... 'I don't want you to look at me like a stranger... I dont wanna come accross to you like just another nigga... I know you ____ trust nobody but you have to trust someone... thats why I want __ my brother'.(Anybody know the name...or own the song?) This song is so sweet... my friend ayo usually looks at my face once it starts playing cos I immediately start doing the church thing( when you're 'chewing mouth' at the parts that you don't know and singing really loudly the parts that you do... lol... I know... so ' Mr Bean'... by the way I can't wait for his new movie... grew up on this guy... he's awesomer than awesome and also very sexy... lol)
  • Black Nail Polish: ok so I've loved this long time... and the flames are still burning bright although without regular pedicures... I think my natural toe colour will be 'shot to dark' in a few years...
  • Cranberry Vodkas and Starbucks White Chocolate Macchiatos (not together of course)

  • My eyebrow waxer
  • Lil Kim: I live for her 'over-the-topness'. I love the fact that she takes her fashion so seriously and year after year she churns out the same teenage glam ghetto girl meets deranged semi- retired couture choreographer/muse.

In how many languages can you say... PERFECTION!!!
  • Ghanaian Hiplife and Makossa: are the building blocks of my dance existence... Do I start with kokovelli, kk fosu or batman... vip? tic-tac, castro, dasaabre gyamenah?... obour, mzbel, abrewa nana? I swear I've seen more Ghanaian artistes in concert than most Ghanaians I know... Makossa... I love Awilo Longomba so much that I named my brown teddy bear after him... this man and Celine Dion are still going to perform at my wedding.

  • Oatmeal: I became quite lazy this summer... and found out that oatmeal is the easiest meal to make... lol so a little bit of carnation and st. louis and we're good to go... Ice Kenkey is a great 'african substitute' (you know... put ghanaian kenkey in a blender with some ice cubes... and the carnation and st. louis as well... and you're good to go) I haven't had my other favorite woodland granola cereal in a while... patrice... you sending me some?

  • Dresses... of every lenghth, shape and form(yes including the new 'tent' dresses)
  • Video on Trial: This is a Canadian show where they dissect music videos... oh my gosh it's absolutely hilarious... Canadian humour rocks!!!

  • Yoruba-cussing in English: mo-fucking-daran men! lol

  • Sade... and Michael Jackson(and yes I did once believe the rumours that he's Nigerian... lol)

  • The 'fela impersonator' during the West African Idol auditions... 'i no be gentleman at all io... I no be genturuman at all'... in his white briefs, painted face and blank expression... forget timi... that guy was MY West African Idol. My friend Ms BA(dancing queen) is nuts about the 'I berieve I can fry' character... lol... and another friend was nuts about the girl in the blue dress and facecap(lol... I remember cos we watched the worst auditions time and time again... they were unscripted genius)
Things I don't like:
  1. Crocs: They are hideous and not meant for anything other than gardening... when will the madness stop?

2. Chinese Mesh Slippers... Never bought a pair... never will.. I absolutely can't stand em.. ewwww... absolutely hideous!

3. The words 'kpeklemesh', 'long tings', 'gbensh'... but no thanks to my kponkious friends I actually find myself using these words sometimes.

4. Most Mass Retailers: because they have managed to turn everybody into fashion clones. I don't care if I have to save up for weeks and months to buy clothes at certain stores cos the worst thing happened to me sometime this summer. Against my good judgement... I bought a certain sundress at one of those mass retailing stores ... went to a picnic in it... and saw not 1... but 2!!! girls wearing my same dress... not just the same style... the SAME COLOUR!!!(one of them actually came up to me and was like hey you... cute dress... ) I smiled at her but inside I almost died... I actually only ever really buy skinnies from that store cos they're usually long enough for my long legs and reasonably priced... but after that incident... the few things I actually own from that store is gradually being phased out and made into 'at-home' wear cos I couldn't stand it if it happened again... ewwwww.

It does seem like even celebrities aren't immune to this... but I have found some little-known fantastic shops that most people don't know about... and although a little pricey... it's definitely worth it.

5. That fracking freaking fecking show 'Take the Cake': fuck its stupid!!! It makes no sense... I tuned in last night and Tocarra was pointing her atomic bombs into the camera and oohing and ahhing about nothing in particular, a thick girl in a fulani tent-dress and rubberband belt was doing salsa moves to hip-hop, and the male-host was rubbing a cutout of beyonce legs with a slightly dazed look on his face.
Let 'Hova' catch you people!
Asking stupid questions to a stupid audience... that shows so stupid it puts lipstick on its head to 'make up its mind'(Lol.. yeah i got jokes... i'm a fan of yo mama like everybody else... dont even front... lol)

6. The fact that the black? guy didn't win 'so you think you can dance: voting ojoro!

*gosh someone sent me yahooze but I mistakenly deleted it cos it went to my junkmail... please send it again... I'll be more careful this time.. I promise... thanks and pretty pleaseee*

Monday, August 13, 2007

diary of a g (dog... this is what you wanted right?)

*A personal fuck-you to whoever hacked into my account and posted my writeup on the above named STALKERS blog... cos I would NEVER write anything on there even if my life depended on it... him and his blog are completely distasteful to me... besides I already know he'd slink and stalk his way over here anyways... as he already has... and left about 20 comments in the past few hours*

Here's the thing dog?/dude?/dairy?/diary?:

So we broke up almost 4 months ago...
I'm not gonna go into details cos they're irrelevant really... and I'm past it... wayyyy past it... AND you.

After we broke up... I saw you once... you said hi to me... I ignored you cos you didn't exist to me... you'd lost it for me... you'd lost it to me.

You wanna know how and why you lost it? You lost it cos you were disrespectful and uncaring and selfish the time when I needed you... and I don't do disrespectful and uncaring and unselfish.
After I ignored you... you still had the audacity to call me on my cellie a few times leaving such stupid messages as 'hey baby'... 'happy anniversary baby' on different occasions
It's like dude... get a clue... I don't want anything to do with you... you're not my man... you're not my friend... get it?

I used to think we'd be friends no matter what happened with us cos I did share a lot of my life with you for the 10,11 months that we knew each other/ were together
But like I said... my 'friends' are there for me when I call them almost crying cos my mom has been admitted into the hospital for something I don't even know... and I can't reach her... my 'friends' put ego and imagined hurts aside and are there for me

When we were dating I had told you I had a blog... read you certain mummy sundays and certain entries from it... I had never given you my blog address... and you had promised me that you'd never go searching for it.

The minute we broke up... 'amazing writer'... 'unsigned lyricist' that you are... and because you just needed a place to air your pseudo 'intellectual theories' and 'empirical wisdom' you of course had to start up a blog
... I'm guessing the entire time that we were together... you probably knew exactly where my blog was and kept tabs right... knowing that I'd never lie on my blog... you could track me... find out what I was up to... if the times that I said I was with friends... I was really with 'Chris' or 'Michael'...
Good on you 'detective dog'

You started up your blog pretending to be a new blog reader from Canada who liked my blog... time and time again soliciting for me to stop by your blog... leaving 2,3,4 comments on each post.
I decided to be nice and see what you actually had to say(all the while not knowing that it was you)

I went on there... assaulted by words I didnt really understand... convoluted concepts... words put together that didn't mean much stuff to me... slang and basically not my kind of thing to read... I left a comment or two... but I decided I wouldn't go back to your blog... certainly not my kind of reading.

Listen I'm not even in the mood to go back and forth and explain my life away here cos you're not worth it... I have lost every atom of respect for you...
I probably would've forgiven you if after we broke up you didn't start up your little suspense series on your blog... disrespecting me... calling me names... talking shit about me... calling me a 'victim'
But you did.

The posts I wrote about you after we broke up were very 'journalist' very 'clinical'... Kimor said this and I said this back... I didn't go on insulting you... talking shit about events that happened months ago in the relationship.. the time when you did A and i said B and you did C... which then proved that you were an asshole
I didnt talk about the time... that day on November 11th or February 18th when your mom said D and I thought E but you said F... which shows me that 'you were ____'

I didn't quote dates and events of time past... cos that's exactly what they were... in the past... I didnt try to make a case against you... I just said what had happened... how it happened and that was it.
But oh no... You're the champion writer with a cause... award-winning lyricist and male activist... you went to every single persons blog begging for them to come on your blog and 'peep' something... that you had secrets to tell...
you will probably never know how tiny you became to me after that... how all the respect I ever had for you went down the drain

I never went on and on about you after we broke up cos you ceased to matter... you didn't mean shit to me and basically writing about would be a waste of brain time and blog space. But you couldn't resist of course... 4/5th(that's 80% by the way) of everything that you have ever written in the entire time that you've been blogging has been about me or with some reference to me(veiled or unveiled) ... things that have absolutely nothing to do with me you bring my name up... GET MY NAME OUT YOUR MOUTH!!!

You were trying to prove a point... prove yourself to people you don't even know... trying to smear my name when the people you were hassling yourself about don't know me either...
You became a sad little boy running around for attention... not the Kimor I wrote poems about

I never came on your blog to prove or disprove things that you said because there wasn't a point... you had become an ant in my sight... and it's like I read somewhere... if you see someone you don't like falling down from a high-rise building... there really is no point of giving them a shove as they pass down your window (they're falling anyways... get it?)

Anytime somebody left a comment on my blog... even till this day... you run immediately like a chicken without a coop to their blog to comment... oh come on my blog... oh please new blogger... pass by my blog... oh please... I'd appreciate it if you stop by my blog... oh please... I'm dairy or diary of a g and I really need your readership... oh if you that's not reason enough... overwhelmed naija babe is my ex... yeah... that onb... yeah... so come by my blog... I have some stories to tell about her... pretty please come by my blog.

I do not own blogger and will not say anything about you choosing to start up a blog but you of course could've gone about it an entirely different way... you could've

The real reason I'm writing this here post is to tell you Kimor aka Diary of a g or dog or whatever you call yourself now to LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

You have sent me emails threatening me... telling me you'll show up at my house when I least expect it... you have left me messages calling me baby when you know I'd probably only piss on you if you were on fire... and that's just cos I'd do that for even the person I hate.

You have left me comments threatening to rip the clothes off my body if you saw me on a date with a guy wearing anything you had bought me when we were together. You have left numerous comments here that will be bad news for you if they get into the wrong hands.

You are CYBER-stalking me and making me extremely uncomfortable. It will be safest for all involved if you would completely stay away from me, my blog and stop the negative attention and threats

Initially you used to leave 1,2,3 comments per post... but now you've gone up to 15, 23 and once I counted almost 30 in ONE post... DUDE GET A LIFE... A GIRLFRIEND>>> A FRIEND>>> SOMETHING!

I ignored your for months on months even though you haven't relented in your constant badgering... but it's become obvious that the silent treatment isn't working... you have intensified your efforts instead. There is NO post that I have written on this blog that you haven't commented on since you started blogging.... NONE whatsoever.

In your comments you beg me to publish your comments... read your blog... comment on your blog... then you threaten me... you go on other peoples blogs and try to escalate things that aren't even issues... anywhere my name is mentioned your body temperature rises... you just have to get a word in... you just have to let them know that you used to know me... you have to say something... it's like dude are you sick in your head?

You have told numerous bloggers how much of a bad person I was... how disrespectful and controlling and bla bla bla... so its like why are you nose-deep in my shit if it stinks so bad? why you grovelling? why you feining?

I don't understand your obsession with me... GET OVER IT!

You have threatened that you'll never let me be or leave me alone... it's like dude... choose a personality and stick with it. Are you a little pussy boy still longing after things long gone or are you a hardcore shoot-em-up motherfucker? Dude I'm tired of your bullshit and if this doesn't let up... I will build a case against you...

You do realize that stalking of any kind is an offence right? You do realize that when accompanied with your past 'indiscretions'... you might be in for a surprise right?

You swear you know so much about me... but you'll be surprised what I know about and in a situation where you're threatening me... you'll be surprised what you could get for that... I remember stuff 'diary?/dairy?/kimor/delusional'.

I won't put your shit out here... but you know how it goes for 'repeat offenders'
Be careful what you do darling... cos she who laughs last... usually laughs best.

I used to respect and even like you once... and I really don't want things to escalate beyond this but for me to put up this post after months and months of your constant threats and badgering... it's because I'm sick and tired of it... of silent treatment that hasn't led me nowhere... of being bombarded with comments that I neither solicit from you nor welcome... I'm tired of being a 'victim' If you remember anything about me... you know that I'm a fighter. Dude... don't get me started... end it NOW!

So here's the thing... I don't want to drag this back and forth and I'm not really interested in anything you have to say... all i'm saying is... kindly leave me alone... don't mesage me... don't email me... don't comment on my blog... just stay away from me

Don't beg me... don't threaten me... don't be nice to me.. don't be rude to me... DONT BE

Now that you have your own blog... have made your own blog friends... stick to that... let this be a memory... cos thats what you are to me...
actually that's not true...

Now you're a non-person to me... you know... like someone that NEVER happened.


Here's the thing...

I put up a post... I actually meant to save it... not publish it... only to get into my inbox... and see so many comments was when I realized that I had actually put it up... It's down for now... but dude... you know who you are... if you come on here and write one more thing... anonymously... with your blog name or otherwise... I will put that post back up... come at you with a fire I'm sure you might not even know i had...


To be forewarned is to be forearmed...

UPDATE: I posted it up there again cos 'dairy of a g' is determined for me to show my hand and still insisted on commenting on my blog 20 SEPERATE TIMES in the past few hours(before I disabled comments for this post)...

Saturday, August 11, 2007


Babe listen…

If you don’t make it an issue… ‘it’ won’t be an issue.

I don’t have the time or energy to go through the emotional wringer…

I haven’t told you yet… but I’ve been through enough of those to last a lifetime

You like me… I like you

It should be simple

But you complicate it… with your ‘maturity’… your ‘thoughtfulness’…

But I refuse to apologize or explain something that I don't understand myself...

The ‘years’ that bug you bug me sometimes as well… but I decided to not sweat the little things

You have two chances… maybe one

Shape up and deal with it… or I’ll drop you

I like you babe… but I WILL drop you cos I WILL NOT go through life watching my words and actions

I WILL NOT water me down…

It’s supposed to be a freestyle at this point… don’t try to put me in a genre... a box... a 'whatever'

Even as I write this… I think I might be steeling myself against you… babe I don’t want to… but I just might have to.

This might be done before it even really began… but I’d rather that than ‘make do’…

‘Boyfriend’… for the purpose of this blog… for however long you might end up featuring on it… I’ll call you ‘Coach’

I deserve the best... as do you... let's be that to each other or nothing else.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

we ARE

Taking Chances...

In the impulse of the moment... I made a decision
I might be right.... I might be wrong... but without the rythm... there is no song.

Taking chances on people, places and things...
The noun in my life wants to be my king

6.'5' towering down on my 5.11
He asked and I stuttered... asked and I fluttered...

I'm certain but uncertain... young but old... rigid but impulsive

I'll hug this to myself for a little while... it's new and comforting and comfortable and different...

I like it... I feel safe

I said yes... so we ARE

I might be right.... I might be wrong... but without the rythm... there is no song.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Say a little prayer for me

I got into a car accident yesterday... horrible... i have glass shards and cuts all over my face, arms, legs...

I can't properly move my neck to the right...

I'm in pain... I'm limping... I'm gonna wake up black and blue tomorrow the paramedics said... but I'll be fine... I think

The driver of the other car was unscathed...

At least I'm alive right...

UPDATE: To the hospital... for complete checkups... they said I didn't break anything but my neck is still stiff and I can't walk upright.... my thigh is swollen beyond belief

Nobody was on the otherside... anybody who was would've died.... it was a big truck that hit us... and our car is a complete write-off.

It's so sad when people can be heartless even when others are in pain... when everything is an opportunity to exploit someone else's name... I'll take this post down in hours... I think when I get back...

I'm worse than I was when I started out yesterday... but I'm better than I could've been... what scares me more than anything is that i was going to sit on that side of the car... I swear to God I was... but then the other girl did... and we dropped her off but I was lazy to shift... if she was there... she would've died... and if I was... so would I. It was completely bashed in... and the fender hit me... it happened so fast... I was stunned for a half hour... then the scaries set in...

Thank you Jesus.

UPDATE ON THE UPDATE: I sound a little better today... look a little better... the limp is almost gone... but I have bruises on the same sides of both inner thighs so when I walk they sort of rub together... pain. My body's sore... and my neck is still stiff... and the left side of my body especially... but after washing off the glass and cleaning up the blood... it's not as bad as it looked on wednesday.

I got into a car yesterday... I sat in the left side of the backseat like I had when we got into the accident... and the entire time he was driving us... I was scared out of my mind... you know the feeling you get when you're at an amusement ride...the way your stomach drops.... I had that the entire time. Everytime we were gonna make a left and there were cars coming straight up... I saw that big red truck parking into our car again and smashing us. I didn't say anything about it cos I wanted to be strong... but at the end of the ride... my friend Ayo(who was driving the car we got into the accident in) was so relieved she almost cried... she'd had the same fear and couldn't express it.

They say it's an accident thing... it'll only be like that for a day or two...

UPDATE ON THE UPDATE THAT I UPDATED BEFORE: I'm alright... Not perfect cos I still have a couple bruises that are still healing up... and a lot of mosquito bites(the accident happened in a bushy part of the city and I was in shorts) and my neck/ body hurts a little inside... but I'm a trooper... I'm 'trooping'

Thank you Jesus... and thanks to the people who love and pray for me... I did a lot of "what if's" after the accident... but I know God has a great plan for my life... and I'm yet to accomplish that... plus he knows my gorgeous mom, sister and a whole lot of people will just bug the hell out of him with their tears... so I'm glad that HE made me NOT sit down on the right side of the car.

God is good...