Tuesday, October 09, 2007

That Extra 10 pounds…

I have probably weighed myself about 6 times in my entire life. The last time I did a few months ago… the scale said 165 pounds and BMI said I was in the healthy range.

I basically just go by the renowned Australian method of measuring my weight by how tight or loose my pants feel.

I am not skinny by any stretch of the imagination… but I have chosen not to be hung up about weight and suchlike. Not to put down anybody who has any body image issues… but I think it’s so important to love the skin you’re in… I’m a big believer in inner beauty (spoken like a true ugly girl… lol)

I’d much rather be complimented on my sense of humour, my 'smarts', even my Igbo than my ‘cute’.

I know and love my body… and have remained the same size for a while now… so it was with great surprise that I saw some pictures I took in a belly-top a few days ago… Jesus eating fish and chips with no ketchup in Nazareth… I’ve gained weight!!!

I mean whoever knew that developing a passionate love for peanuts and cheesecake after 3am could lead to such visible 'pudge’…

I’m still a medium… and don’t have to squat to get into my pants yet or get a friend to ‘flesh’ them out for me…

BUT

Oh heavens now I won’t be able to audition for Canada’s Next Top Model’s third season… lol… I kid I kid.

But seriously though, I’m 5 ft 11… and the comment I get most often is ‘you should model’…

… this has nothing to do with any sort of physical perfection that sort of comment would ordinarily imply… it’s really just that most people think every tall girl should model.

… I’d have to lose about 63 pounds of the 170 that I probably am right now… and magically manufacture high cheekbones and ‘high fashion beauty’

…ain’t gone happen…

After modelling, the next thing is basketball… basically folks just figure that a tall girl should do something that’s usually exclusive to her height…

To play basketball I’d have to remember what a 3-pointer is and actually learn to execute one… wear baggy shorts, forgo stilettos and wear my hair in a pony tail…

…In an odd way I think of myself as a tomboy… just not the kind that doesn’t wear heels…

Last weekend when I went out partying… at least 3 people commented on my heels and height… one of them mentioned that I would intimidate guys who would want to talk to me to which I replied that ‘the sort of guy who would be intimidated is probably too short … and I’m not interested in anyways… besides it has nothing to do with any dude really… this is all me’

I decided to become a bit girly this month. I have worn eyeshadow and mascara three times in the past three weeks… with mixed feelings. The first time I thought I was going blind… I was blinking so much. The other two times were alright I suppose but I’ve decided I’ll still keep off…

Mary Magdalene in hooker heels... I mean big hair, big shoes and eyeshadow… does it get any more drag-queen?

But anyways back to me and the belly-top… I’m on an xyz axis leading to serious exponential flab.

I don’t do diets… but I think I just might have to stop the cookies after 11pm before I have people walking up to me asking when the triplets are going to be born…

I wouldn’t want to mess with perfection…

So i've decided to stop eating the rest of the puff-puff I brought home from a party last weekend… or any cheesecake until I wear that belly-top and it looks exactly the way it would have a month ago…

… I find myself singing Billy Holiday and Louis Armstrong’s ‘Dream a little dream of me’ every time I think of the delicious puff-puff… Lord please do me a solid… give me 'Sampsonian' strength to resist the Delilah that is puff-puff!!!

In keeping with the theme of self-love… this month I’m celebrating my hands. I’m wearing pretty cocktail rings… really bright nail polish and huge male watches which I've loved since I was a child.

… speaking of male watches… I tried on the most GORGEOUS Christian Dior watch last week…. It had these tiny diamonds, a little white detailing and looked so ‘tough and chic’ on my wrist… my friends had to force me to take it off it was so pretty… the only problem was the price tag…

All $5, 535 of it

I need that watch in my life… Anybody know the going price for souls these days?

31 comments:

Unbiased said...

lol!! You want to sell your soul for a watch abi? lol!! Behave yourself jo!!! Do the way we all do. Save!!!or max out the credit card!!!

If you ever find a lazy way to get rid of the pudge as you call it, Holla @ a sister. My 'pudge' appeared last week and is still freaking me out. All 5 6' of me. lol!!

Zena said...

I swear you kill mee,
"I mean whoever knew that developing a passionate love for peanuts and cheesecake after 3am could lead to such visible 'pudge’… "
lol babe, coming from the Queen of Diets herself, just try balancing what you do, you know, the cookies and puff-puff with little exercise, you know.
You'll be fine, you're 5'11 really? that's tall, you do know your height also affects your weight right?
You'll be fine, all dat makoussa, u better find magic systems new single or put awilo on and dance it away.

Zena said...

"I mean whoever knew that developing a passionate love for peanuts and cheesecake after 3am could lead to such visible 'pudge’… "
I swear you kill me babes,
Coming form the Queen of all diets, you just need to balance, you can have the puff-puff but you better walk it off/out
Find that Awilo c.d or Magic systems new single and dance it off.
Your 5'11 my gosh, I'd be a midget standing next to you, and you wear heels?ahn!ahn

You'll be good.

Arewa said...

U r a joker..lol -' I have worn eyeshadow and mascara three times in the past three weeks… with mixed feelings. The first time I thought I was going blind… I was blinking so much'
But on serious note .. i feel u on the height issue.. Iam also 5'11 and get that comment about being a model a lot.. al i say to them is that i have been there done that already....it gets annoying after a while sometimes i feel like telln them to jus bugger off!!
Just be u hon.....
But my sister puff puff is evil....i was addicted to it a few moths ago when i discovered a new rrestaurant close to home that makes them just the way i like them and nomlie ooh... 3 weeks down the line my body also started to say me where all the puff - puff was going....lets just say my belly was on the higher level and so were my love handles...lol

Afrobabe said...

hmmmmm
That watch seems like a true test of love for a man oh...
Get a man that has been declaring undying love and tell him thats the price!

Confessions of a moody crab said...

lmao...babe you will not kill me. I was proper cracking up! So puff-puff is now your delilah, eh? lol. You are not serious. Just mind what you eat and like you said, stop eating late into the night (I should listen to my own advice cos I've been muching of a boxing of belly jelly for past one hour!)

Btw, how you doing?

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

omo u never halla

Last xmas, I went home. Everyone was so bowled over that I had not gained weight since leaving two years earlier. I was trim and sexy.
Now, I am rolling around at 155 pounds on 5'4 height. To climb the stairs causes me to get with my ancestors. I have bought diet teas. I have started working out etc. No show.
My own is just that next week, I am going to see the guy I have been crushing on for like five years plus and I am going to be fit and cha cha

Idemili said...

I'd say about the same amount ONB. And I know just where to find Mephistopheles...

onydchic said...

I think everyone has that mndset. You're tall = model/basketballer. I have a friend that complains DAILY about that kind of harassment!
And watch it on the late night eating!!! I've been battling the BULGE for soo long, I'e lost track of when i started. You DONT want that.

Uzo said...

Kai...what do i say first...

Yes eating so late will help in weight gain..LOL...I am excited about the full self esteem..

Fabulous post as usual

Omosewa said...

Lmao@ spoken like a true ugly girl. Girl, you're not even near fat, but i agree the cookies after 11pm shd stop, to mantain ur vshape and all, okay women dont have that do they? Mascara and eyeshadow are good for you, find a nice subtle eyeshadow jare. How u dey sha??

femme said...

wow! 5,11, i am so jealous.i am 5 9(ok, 5,8) at first i felt gangly but later i had so much company up there and i began to wish i could be taller. if only we can do to our heights what we do to our weights.
i love me heels too. but recently ive been doing without as brasillians are small.
forget the wrist watch!

SET said...

LOL, YOU WRITE WELL. THE GOOD THING HERE IS THAT YOU ARE COMFYIN YOUR OWN SKIN. I AGREE WITH BIG WATCHES, FAB. I SAW ON TV THAT IF YOU ATE LATE AS LONG AS YOU ARE AWAKE FOR ANOTHER HOUR OR TWO THE EFFECT IS NOT SERIOUS. But the portion is key no diets just healthy eating and portion is key. stay fab

Calabar Gal said...

So what you gonna do about the watch? LOL!!

Writefreak said...

chei! i feel like a midget...5'11...gosh! you're tall!
Please stop eating peanuts at midnight..i've had to cut down on late night eating myself, i usually get the craving to eat funny stuff when working later but i added a few kgs so i'm trying to shed that now...

i'm rooting for you

The Last King Of Scotland said...

nothin do u ooooooooooh!

Soul said...

I'm going to tell you this now..
Once you wear a male watch.. thre is no going back.

Be prepared.
Firstly.. because your wrist is soo small you will be intrigud by the way it looks on your wrist it feels like wearing a bangle. and if you are like bangles then you are done for.

Then it makes you feel secure it's like this big ole thang on this lil ole wrist ahhhh....

Thirdly, it scares the idiotic guys away...
It's addictive.

on the price issue.. I can help you out no problems.. I've been tryingt o pimp you from jump.. Oya let just call me big daddy.... and I'll sort it out
I have some nice Arabian clients hee hee hee

Zephi said...

OMG...ONB is back with her wittyness....Loving yourself rocks..just be healthy,whatever it is...I personally will advice that one should not eat late at nite even skinny ones like myself....

Reminds me, my cocktail ring I have been wearing got lost and I am upset.

I can see your a math guru incoporating it to real life situations...
"I’m on an xyz axis leading to serious exponential flab.
"

classic
abs is always good, you would look even fabber(if thats a word) without any flabs...
you know I love you the way you are flabs or no flabs

Jezi Brown said...

you are very refreshing writer babe!
dont you have a flat stomach! eat eat and eat!
You only live once!!!

Uzo said...

Happy biday dearie...lol

coco said...

i always think weighing yourself is strange
i think it is more important you like how clothes fit you than how heavy you are
this post made me giggle
love the blog

~Mimi~ said...

hunie u write so well!!!!!!!

confused child said...

lol i dnt knw how weird it.ll be if i say i hate watches. And as 4 cheesecake, girl i don't blame u cos i gained 13lbs 4rm eating cheesecake every morning and night.
Girl i know u'll still look pweety with big stomach.

Chika said...

Dont add on weight u cant lose o cos trust me i seem to be stuck wiv mine.nothing seems be working jo so i don give up since.

Ekoakete said...

Hmn, hmn, hmnn... Amen to puff puff!

Discombobulated Diva said...

if only i wasn't constatnly worrying about that last 10lbs... its never been so hard to lose the last couple of pounds especially when i love to go out to dinner and have drinks with friends... but that's ok, i love my body as it is (most days)...

btw, i'm finally back to blogging after moving across the Atlantic...

~DD

Jennifer said...

I know how you feel I'm about 135 pounds, the most i've ever weighed, but I've been eating healthier then ever the last 6 months and I don't feel like any of it is coming off it's so frustration cause I'm not in the body i'm use to being in. *sigh*
it's tough when your clothes don't fit...

confused child said...

time 4 an update pls.

Jaja said...

If you love your skin so much, usually an indcation thaat I ll love it...

I have no need for souls, Isnt there something else you have to sell?
abi u dont want the watch again?

LOL... been a while, wassup?

Lighty said...

darling, i'll buy u the watch, i can do with an additional soul. lol!
i feel u on the nuts issue. i love nuts, but looks like they don't have the same love for me. from brazils to almonds and cashews i love them all. problem is i see the result in 3days and it aint pretty trust.
well babes, no worries, u'll wear that belly top, beautifully again, mos def. u jusk keep on kicking on.

Jaycee said...

lolll @ the fear of people coming to ask you when the triplets are due...

Hope u're doing great dear! Checking up on ya!!!!! Muah!!!!! :)