One Year on Blogspot

…with tons of questions that I didn’t have any answers to… to relive certain memories and to try to forget others…

On this blank black background, exactly one year ago… I started blogging.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe:

He probably doesn’t even remember this, but Olawunmi once told me a Yoruba saying… something about your name influencing the things that happen to and around you…

I still don’t mind the name Overwhelmed… but I wouldn’t mind being called Olive as well…

Olive means to me intelligence and inner beauty and grace and fun and compassion, individuality and strength and self- love and loyalty and honesty… me.

See I actually love my real name… but I’m one of those weird people that constantly gives myself new names every couple of years.

I initially started with the name thing so I could have a consistent name to give guys I wasn’t interested in without being rude… I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings so I’d rather do a ‘My name is Phoenix but I’m not interested’ bit than ignore the person completely or give them a ‘Beyonce/ Ciara/ Raj’ name that I won’t remember to answer to if the person actually remembers my ‘name’ and tries to call my attention later...

It started out this way… and gradually evolved to the level where I actually take my names quite seriously and put a bit of thought into them… and for that reason will not hesitate to cut a dude for… (if I will get into trouble for saying that… it was a um metaphor… if I won’t… shit… I MEAN it!)

My names are usually a bit abstract …

In Ghana, it was Passionfruit.

A couple of years later, I got bored and changed it to Paradise.

A few months into the name, I knew I liked it but it didn’t excite me beyond measure… or give me particular pleasure when I used it. I decided to go French… ‘Paradisia’… I had a good run out of this one cos people always asked…

Then a year or so ago… I adopted the name ‘Phoenix’. I used this one in serious company… with a straight face… it cracked my friends up. I heard a lot of ‘bird’ metaphors in relation to this one… but it went over pretty well…

I haven’t completely phased ‘Phoenix’ out… but I’m gradually introducing the name ‘Olive’

(and yes I do realize I might be upsetting the ‘p-name’ balance by using Olive… but hey what’s life if one doesn’t take chances?)

Slight digression before I completely forget…I have a mildly funny story about my name Olive … a message someone left me

My Voicemail:

{You have 1 new message left at 10.45pm on July 14 from (***) *3* - 4**9

“Um hi… this is William. I don’t know if you remember me cos we met about 2 weeks ago at _______ but the few times when I’ve tried to call you... your phone has rung off. See I’m not even so sure I have the right person cos I remember you specifically saying your name was Olive but your voicemail says ‘Overwhelmed’… so I’m not even sure… but um if this is Olive… then please give me a call at (***) *3* - 4**9. “

I just laughed and laughed… he was a cutie but I never did call him back. My sister Fire suggested at the time that I tell him Olive is my middle name… lol… but nah… too many explanations. }

Anyways…

Where does Overwhelmed Naija Babe fit into all the names I’ve ever given myself?

I think it’s one of the most honest names I’ve had… the others are more ‘good time’, perhaps slightly fun(ny) ‘sometimes exotic’… completely conceptual

Overwhelmed Naija Babe started out as brutal honesty and truth… has evolved into laughs that try to mask the pain…thoughts like: ‘not-talking-about-it-means-it-will-go-away’… truth that shows up in the dead silence… some healing… truth but in doses that slide down easier with a bottle of vodka… outside suppression that I fight against without knowing who the enemy really is… having ideas… rejecting them… picking them up by the tail… shaking them to see if anything will fall out…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe… knowing that people are stabbing and hugging me at the same time… a slap on my cheek with their right hands and a soothing touch with their left hands… fighting the angels as well as the devils… mental FUCKERY.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe… writing me… loving me… accepting me… celebrating me…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe… genuine smiles… genuine affection… embracing the good… rejecting the bad… standing up for myself…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe… constantly working towards not being a victim of my memories… making COMPLETE peace with me.

One year on blogspot eh…

Here’s to the rest of my journey… wherever it takes me.