Sunday, July 22, 2007

Where I am

I'm no longer a fan of The Chef
We've been talking since we met howmanyever weeks ago... he really is funny and adorable on the phone
We never really got around to going on that drink date... cos I always had something to do... and after a few 'misses'... he didn't ask as much anymore
We finally decided to go see a movie or play pool or go for dinner... SOMETHING last weekend
He didn't call me at 8pm like he was supposed to... and by 11pm when he DID call... I had already made plans and was getting ready to hit a party...
yeah we rescheduled AGAIN

As luck or 'mis-luck' would have it... I was going shopping with my '5' Ayo on Wednesday afternoon... and we were supposed to go chill with some 'brethren' after so I was looking cute(I'd say sexy but I wouldn't want you to come out of this post thinking 'dang that girl must think she's all that'... )

He had previously told me the restaurant he 'cheffed' at... so on a whim... Ayo and I decided to pass by and say hi... (we'd decided we'd have brunch there if he was the hotness... 'if' being the keyword... cos the hotness at night when you've drank a few smirnoffs can be quite different from 'sober daylight hotness')

I rang him up... and we drove on by...
Ifem ji anyam furu... chaiiii... olisa bi na igwe biko wezugerem ajo ife nandum for the rest of my life... enwerom onu okwu... ay ay ayyyyyyy.... na Darwin kwuru na ndi mmadu si evolve na monkey... odika obere eziokwu no na okwu ahu... ewo meeeeeee

(The Igbo was used above cos I don't know that I know the right words in English to express the dissapointment... the wowority... the 'kponkiousness' of the entire situation)

This boy was NOT fine! I mean I have never really been one for pretty boys... and dated two 'not-so-great-looking-guys-who-were-extremely-nice-and-inwardly- attractive' in my day (lol... I know... how 'unshallow') but one definitely has to draw the line somewhere...
This boy had an unsexy dopey grin on him that showcased all 54 of his incisors... with this 'sauced-up' white apron and hat...
I really couldn't stand his smile it was so apologetic... that sort of said something like 'I know I'm not that cute... but ummm... will you please manage me... please?!?!'
ummm... NO!

He still had that sexy ass height... all 6 ft 3 inches of him... that dark chocolate gorgeous skin... you could just tell he works out(lol... plus he told me) but I couldn't get pass the smile...

I could just tell from it that he'd apologize all the time for things that aren't even his fault...

Overwhelmed: you're so tall eh?
The Chef: i'm sorryyyy

Overwhelmed: I'm hungry
The Chef: oh baby... I'm sorry

Overwhelmed: I suppose I should've left the door open so you could come in when I was upstairs
The Chef: oh... I'm sorry

Overwhelmed: you really can be an idiot sometimes...
The Chef: I'm sooo sorry

yeah... that kind!

A lot of my boyfriends in the past have been 'apologetic'... I was almost always right... I was always just a little smarter... could get away with just about anything...
I'm not really down with that shit anymore... slightly dumbing myself down to not appear as 'intellectual'... not being able to use the 'big words' that I want to other than with certain friends and in class... I've had this in so many relationships that I almost don't know anything else... but I realize there is more...

I should be able to discuss the literary delight that is sarcasm... as well as how sexy my leopard print stilletos are...

I AM A SMART AND SLIGHTLY TWISTED GIRL... and I have made my peace with that...

I of course would like someone who celebrates me... but also tells me the truth however harsh it might be...

The Chef was too complimentary... too eager...
'My female coworker said you have a nice ass'(lol... I seem to be getting a lot of compliments from lesbians lately... one day I will write a post about some of the girls who have propositioned me before... I take all of this as a compliment... lol... you know you're 'not-so-bad'... when the ladies love you... although I will say I am strictly '*ickly')

'Oh whelmed you're prettier than I remember'

'You have your belly buttons pierced eh? that's sooo fucking sexy... dang girl'

I really don't need to hear that every two seconds

He's called me nuff times since... I pick up sometimes and we talk... but I'm definitely not gonna date him... I want no... NEED a challenge... mental, spiritual, physical... etc...

He's not hideous or anything... I'm pretty sure even some girls reading this will think I'm nuts if they saw him... but me no interest... him na make it!

Moral of the story: When you're drinking... in the dark... don't believe everything you see... oh and dating ROCKS!!!

25 comments:

cinnamonqueen said...

What you need a strong, confident, intellectual man who can handle conversations on your stilettos and the art of sarcasm with equal dexterity. Well chocolate coloured skin and 6ft 3 wouldn't hurt either now, would it? ;)

Zephi said...

aww poor boy. when you talked on the phone, did he come across as boring and not intellectual? I guess its just the teeth...lol,

geisha said...

babe i've been there.. nice-seeming personality and u think u remember he was cute then u see the face..
and then the grovelling personality - may i please wipe ur arse.. oh i'm so sorry, was the tissue too harsh on your skin?.. EEW.
but then again, u might jus be being impatient right now, you're in a different place from him. possibly in some distant future he might actually be sweet, who knows! all the same, my condolences. :P

confused child said...

welcom bck. ive been waitin for ur update since and i thot i was gonna be the fist to comment but cinnamonqueen beat me 2 it. well let me go and read sha.

catwalq said...

bloody alcoholic!!!!
u see yasef now?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Cinnamonqueen: lol… EXACTLY! I actually met three new guys yesterday… one of them is really smart from the short conversation we had(6 ft 5 as well… )we’ll see how that goes… the Jamaican one is funny… and the one from Guinea or something like that is serious… all interesting… we’ll see how things go… that’s the beauty of this dating thing… we see whats out there… cut out the undesirables… and ‘embrace’ the desirables… or something of that nature… lol

Zephi: oh he’s not boring at all… he’s really funny actually… but that’s not all that matters… I don’t like his smile so as tall and funny and nice and into me he is… this can’t gwan…

Geisha: lol… my dear ehn… I’ll be honest… you might see the guy or somebody else might and think he’s really cute… he’s not really ugly… but it’s just that’s not what I saw when I met him the first time(but then again I had drunk a few smirnoffs and it was dark)… like I said… the smile was just a complete turn-off… and I don’t want to go through a relationship rolling my eyes… since then when he’s called I’ve picked up sometimes… we talk and laugh a little cos he really does have some jokes on him… I just know I’m not going on a date with him… if he wants to be platonic friends… cool… and if not… ah well… such is life… but it won’t go further than that… he’s just not my cup of tea. Yeah he really was too eager… I’m not a big big fan of that… I love being complimented but there definitely is a moment when it becomes too much…

Confused child: lol… ahhh.. cinnamon is first oh… so she gets the special treat of cheesecake… maybe next time my dear

Catwalq: lmao… my dear ehn…

Inside your head: I do not owe it to anybody to write every single thing that happens to me on this blog… and/or talk about any and everybody that I meet either… this blog is a very very tiny fraction of the life I lead… so in the meantime I suggest you just read what you happen to read here… and shut up about the rest of it… either that or feel free to not come back… I really won’t mind.

My 2 cents said...

As dating should Rock darling.. oh to be young again..

LurLar said...

Eyahhhh poor thing.....d guy dey try to impress u...lol.Me i believe say some truth r seen nd said when drunk.lol

SapphireAster said...

haha...next time you should take pictures of the guys and check them out first thing in the morning.
So the Chef is a push-over with a not-so-attractive smile. Damn..another one bites the dust. Moving on!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

My 2 cents: lol… abegi… make una no dey come here dey yarn to be young again like say you be one old woman like that… abegi!!!

Lurlar: beautiful angel with the sweet voice… he’s trying his best sha I will give him that… but sometimes peoples best just isn’t right for certain people… (I didn’t want to say good enough cos he really is a nice guy… and not so bad looking… its just that smile… arghhhhhh…) lmao… this babe e dey like say you carry style be boozeaholic oh… ngwa tell true…

SapphireAster: lol… so na all those runs I go dey do when I want dey drink dey dance abi? Nsogbu adiro… no problem at all… when that one happen and if I enter trouble… I hope say you go dey dere to bail me out oh… imagine explaining that to a guy you just met… emmm … dude I’m taking ur picture tonight cos umm… well the last guy I talked to… I was semi-tipsy so I misjudged his cuteness… so for peace sake and avoidance of any future wahala… can I snap your photograph? Lol… just imagine the ‘what planet is this girl from’ look that they’ll give me… I no fit chance am… lol… yes another one bites the dust… I must admit… I’m sure I shouldn’t be enjoying this but I actually kinda am… there are some potentials in my life right now… I just haven’t blogged about em yet… maybe I will later… especially one of em… actually maybe 2… lol ok I wont get into all that here…

Inside whoevers head: you seem to have missed the point of my entire reply to you previously…it DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR OR READ ABOUT ME… you read what I want you to read… no if’s… but’s or maybe’s… I’m pretty sure there is somebody out there who’s interested in catering to your reading needs… (you? Your local library? Oprah’s book club?) so why don’t you check out that option? This is my last reply to you cos I’m tired of thinking up ways to reiterate shit…

Nyemoni said...

You this Igbo chick! LOL... I loved reading your igbo rhymes, though I didn't understand a word of it... Double lol.. I feel you though, I hate apologetic people, Gosh! They make me feel sorry for em!And Yeah youre right there! Dating Rocks...sorry for me

Uzo said...

LOL>...Oi! Well chuck it up to experience....lots of teeth? LOL

The Last King Of Scotland said...

interesting. u shouldnt have to dumb down for anyone. if they cant understand u too bad. im in favour of being urself anyway. nice post

Idemili said...

Hahaha! Girl your Igbo is soooo Imo state and I love it. Hahaha, funny post girl, but imakwa na I have dated not-so-fine men who believe they are the shiznit? That is sexy so I dig what you're saying.

יש (Yosh) said...

My....my, your igbo is FLYY! :d

lmao, loving the moral of the story! And so true...

Pink-satin said...

lol lol lol

temmy tayo said...

Uhmnnn. I need to learn how to speak Igbo. The wowority of the situation is waht is making me have the urge to learn ya language.

Omosewa said...

LOL, you have issues. How painful was the piercing? Buhahahahahaha@! the Igbo part, happens to me too, sometimes english isnt adequate enough.

SET said...

LOL, YOU HAVE BEEN TOO BUSY. I AM JEALOUS.

Fo said...

so ture...but i wld say when u get too deep in dating (the same a guy that is)then it becomes a dilema...keep it real girl!!
xoxo

BeautyinBaltimore said...

Maybe its just me but I like men who kiss my butt. They are always so eager to please.

The shopaholic. said...

Girlllll you belly ring is Hawt! Just wanted to say that.
Anyways, if you aint digging dude then don't date dude. It's all about YOU..to hell with what anyone else says or thinks.

Mr.Fineboy said...

LOL....hilarious! "the wowority" This is why I never take numbers in the club...
But I feel u on the "apologetic" tip. Women like Type A Alpha males, not puppy dogs giving compliments every 2 secs. Interesting post! U sound like a bad ass!

femme said...

first of all i wish i could hit u for enjoying dating so much.
meanwhile
nwaa, e gbara wicked.
eloti e ji akpo nwa mmadu monki darwini.
i just elevated u to god status for writing more than one sentence in igbo and me actually took igbo classes o. but according to my father
whats a little 'f' here and there between good grades.
nice post as usual

Noni Moss said...

Lollll - drinking and cute guys - dont always mix

and pshhh - we already know you think you're the hotness! Lolll - but it's all good. You go on with your bad self! :-D