Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Moneydrain… thy name is Mimi

Yesterday was certainly a day of errands for me.
I went with my mom to the hospital in the morning to get registered for a new family doctor seeing as our old one retired a little while ago. After that, we went to a walk-in clinic to book an appointment for some scans that she’s to do tomorrow. Later, we went to this fantastic Chinese restaurant for lunch… then drove down to the car place to get the radio properly installed in her new car.

An hour or so later, we passed by the calling card place because she has to call ‘back home’ and of course ‘western union’ them some money for the completion of the fence and to cure ‘Uncle Azubuike’s headache and heartache and flu and malaria and typhoid and yellow fever… and election fever’.

Finally, we went to this nail salon because my mom wanted to get a manicure and pedicure.
Yes… yesterday certainly was a day of errands for me.


So at the nail salon, while my mom was getting a pedicure, I walked outside in the improving spring weather, wrote down a couple of thoughts and cracked a smile at my moms obvious choice of red nail polish for her toenails cos I’ve never seen her in anything but.

Then I looked on one of the counters and saw two huge burgundy folders… and being the ‘investigative journalist’ that I am… I decided to open them.
… perhaps inside those books was the secret recipe to make satay beef, spicy shrimp and keep your nails clean while doing both.

Because sometimes… the real world isn’t quite as exciting…
I only saw pictures of nails.

I found some of the nail pictures horribly disgusting and hoochie and skally… some of them elegant and gorgeous… and some of them… completely blah.

See I’d gotten my nails done only 3 days before with my friends Miss BA(aka Dancing Queen), BO(aka hip-hop fire) and her boyfriend NA(aka Nigerian William Shakespeare).
I’d gotten a French Manicure that was totally gorg.
I blame my friends Ayo and BA for their ‘almost- success’ in turning me into an ‘acrylic junkie’ because there I found myself inside supernails only 3 days later contemplating some ‘nail work’.

I’m patterned and cute and weird and cute and nice and cute and interesting and cute… lol… and my nails were going to reflect that dammit!
So with nothing but a nail design plate, several bottles of opi nail polish and a desire to leave the salon different than I’d come in… I walked up to the counter… and met the new center of my attention…

…Mimi…
The weary lady with the wise face and the terribly bitten down nails… who inhaled chemicals and odours and toe cheese for a living... 6 days every week.
The lady with the penciled in overgrown eyebrows who was so busy taking care of others that she had no time for herself…
Mimi


For the next 60 minutes, I looked at no one else
But Mimi
I talked to no one else…

But Mimi

With her ‘applies-to-nails-only’ English, Mimi ‘hit me with da hee’
…she put on the base clear coat… then the black… then the designs. A whirl, a line and a flower… each delicately and masterfully applied.
Oh Mimi

I walked off to the fan to dry my nails and I smiled…
Because for the first time in a long time… I’d been in the presence of true art
… created for and enjoyed by the masses ‘art’
… likely to be duplicated and even surpassed for the right price ‘art’

But for the next two weeks… it’s mine…
To shake friends and strangers with… to sleep and wake up in the morning with…

Moments later, the counter lady surprised me when she walked up to me with a digital camera and said
“Hey Lady… nails very nice… I take a piksha of you for album?”

I was overjoyed.. my chance to be a part of history… to influence the decisions of future manicurists for centuries to come… finally… something I could tell my grandchildren.

I looked at my hands… and saw that they were ashy. I went downstairs to wash.
When I came back after my intense ‘hand lotioning’, ‘blingy ring positioning’ and mental prep for my upcoming photoshoot…
My mom was gone!!!

She’d hadn’t paid for my nail designs cos she didn't like them... she'd left me and walked to the car.
I turned every pocket inside out and in the process partially ruined my almost dry nail art… but I located enough money to pay.
… I looked at the digital camera and the counter lady with regret… and hurried out of the store to meet my mother.

As I sit here cooking up ways to convince my sister Fire to do the dishes just so I don’t ‘ruin my nails’, I smile again.
I smile because I always knew I was going to be a star… and even though she met me for the first time yesterday, the counter lady knew it too… the only ‘reasonable’ reason she whipped out the digicam in the first place.

You can forget my long legs and 'cuteness'… everything I’ve ever written before… every feeling I’ve ever felt…
But never forget to remember me as the girl who almost got her picture taken and framed at Supernails!


*I dedicate this post to the Mimis of the world… without you, life would be quite ‘chippy’*

Moneydrain… thy name is Mimi

32 comments:

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

wats up girl... long time.. busy busy eh.. call me later..

Nyemoni said...

LMAO... I admit I aint feeling you on this one, I have no business with nails... I only get manicures and pedicures done when I'm in the mood which is like 5 times a year, but it's something I'm learning to do, in my quest to be more girly!

boorish male said...

Hello gorgeous, good to see you are still blogging!!!

Soul said...

hee hee lol...

erm besdie I have the the secret recipe to make satay beef, spicy shrimp and keep your nails clean while doing both

it's called wearing gloves, or getting some other muppet to do it for you!

:D

Idemili said...

Madness, thy name is Overwhelmed! LOL, excellent post.

I will update later you know it takes time to tell a true tale. Busy, busy!

tiwalade said...

lol! this nail bizness is serious oh!Make sure you flaunt them very well while you have them.lol. I really should get my nails done if it elicits such joy cuz i've never had them done. Oh well!

Thanks for hollaing at me on my blog,I have finally updated :)

The shopaholic. said...

No be small Nigerian William Shakespeare..that cracked me up.
Like Nyemoni, i cant relate o. Never gotten my nails done. I can't even wear regular nail polish because I end up peeling them off the next day.

Pink-satin said...

my mum too does only red nails..so i can relate to that

EssaBanty said...

LMAO... All this for nail. Good thing i was born with three legs. The things women do to look pretty yet shakara too much. I don't get up till 6.30 if i have to be at work by 7 and that's because it takes me 20 min to drive the rest is shared between taking a shower, dressing up. That's why i have so much cologne in my car. Just playing but you women na wah.

Uzo said...

lol....Nice....So u r a star....well ur nails at least....

Ugo Daniels said...

One word: NICE

UnNaked Soul said...

am in love with the one who wrote about the lady with the penciled in overgrown eyebrows... *wink*

beautifully written young woman... beautifully written.

TaureanMinx said...

Hey Overwhelmed! Long time, whats good?

exschoolnerd said...

lol..this is crazy...i had no idea you were blogging again..thats nice...will come back more often...

yeah geting ur nails done is such a fun fun experience.

Naija Vixen said...

Lol...im glad you still blog...posts lyk this wuldnt be here otherwise ;-)

Klara said...

Busy n Interesting day that one!!
All da best gal!

Naija Sapphire said...

lol - nice! I was almost an acrylic junkie once but i was saved by the intervention of my cousins.

Emily said...

Hey. i just stumbled across your blog. and wow...
ive been too scared to do this whole blogging thing for a while but u inspired me to give it a try...urs is a very good read...keep up the good work!

Simply Gorgeous said...

LOL. at Supernails... would you believe it , maybe you won't but Ihave never gotten my nails professionally polished. Actually,I am a chronic nail biter. I have been like that since I was small. They have tried everything to make me stop.But my trusty stubs have never failed me....

Great post Overwhelmed...

Sisinaija said...

lol @ not wanting to do the dishes! My sis gets away with that all the time for the same reason!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@ijeomaobuiheoma: me? busy? for where?

@nyemoni: lol… you try oh.. this is only my third but I’m a ‘fast fan’… lmao@quest to be more girly..that’s a different way to put it… good luck my dear… we self dey try small small

@boorishmale: Hi handsome… I’m still here… hope you get back soon.. I miss you

@Soul: lmao… I think my favourite is the muppet idea… being my big sister… I’ll trust you’ll do the ‘dirty job’ of drafting the ‘muppet recruitment letter’… lol

@Idemili: lol… thanks mami… abeg hurry back and gist me oh… a day without idemili is like a day without cranberry juice(quite unpleasant… and thirsty if I might add)

@Tiwalade: it is serious oh… I know you’ll come on here and rave about your manicure when you do get one… asides from wearing stilettos I think it’s the girliest thing one could do… I shall come by soon and chekirrout!

@The shopaholic: heya… you dey miss out oh… you dey really miss out babe… abeg try am at least once…

@pink satin: lol… my mom does that and wears only red lipstick… I’m so used to it that I think I’ll have a little crisis if my mom woke up one day and left the house in pink lipstick… lol

@Essabanty: lol… you’re hilarious… I remember you from omohemis blog.. you and your sweet sweet romantic words… I’ll definitely come on your blog sometime soon and see what you’re up to… because any guy who can quote his own personal Shakespeare just like that… is definitely blog-ok with me… lol

@Uzo: my dear… na so we see am oh… it’s not easy being a star oh… I’m just getting used to the fame and the paparazzi… lol

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@ugo daniels: one word: thanks

@unnaked soul: lol… awww.. you’re such a sweetheart.. thanks

@TaureanMinx: hey babe.. I’m alright… how are you doing? Hope everything is everything with you… happy belated birthday once again… hope you had a great time

@exschoolnerd: I’m here my dear… and loving it as always… yes oh the nail thing is one that should be experienced by all at least once in a lifetime…

@Naija Vixen: lol… you’re such a sweetheart… thanks mami

@Klara: yes it was… definitely was… thanks angel… how you doing?

@Naija Sapphire: lol… what did they do.. cut up your credit cards? Tell me the full gist abeg… so that I know what to do if I happen to become a full-blown addict

@Emily: welcome to blogsville love… I already like your blog… you’re gonna love it believe me

@Simply Gorgeous: My dear you’re missing out oh.. you definitely need to find a ‘supernails’ around you and visit… it might even help you with your nail biting habit if you get fake nails(well that or putting bitterleaf or rob on your hands when you think you’re gonna bite em… lol)… I’ve missed you mami.. are you ok?! I hope so cos it has been a while since you blogged… na okurin hold you hostage? Lol

@sisinaija: lol… I think I like the sound of this your sister… lol

Omosewa said...

Very nice!!! I've been thinking about getting mine done for the first time ever. LOL@ur mom leaving you cos she didnt like it, my mom wld totally do that. You should try www.ontariocallingcards.com for phonecards.

Everyone Loves a Naija Girl said...

Haha....awww, this is cute :-) Good for you!

Waffarian said...

I have never had a manicure or pedicure done at a saloon in my entrie life! I am scared of their "tools".Last year, I amost had one, after inspecting everything, asked them to show me the "sterilising machine", asked if they understood about aids, asked about "rust" and "titanus", asked about bacterias, germs, skin diseases........ when the babe finally brought out the "tools", fear catch me, much to everybody's anger and I got seriously cursed out, I backed out! Just can't do it, closest I got to having someone do my nails was when I was a child and my mum would do my toenails cos i always forgot to take care of them!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Omosewa: my dear you should oh… you’re absolutely gonna love it… I just know you’ll come here and gist me how you started ‘talking with your hands’… lol. Moms eh.. you just gotta love em… I’ll try that website out jare cos I have a couple long distance calls that I gotta make actually…

@Everyone Loves A Naija Girl: lol… thanks mami… it really feels fantastic to be an ‘almost- celebrity’… lol

@Waffarian: lmao… you be serious bacteriophobe abi na germophobe… I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone who asked that many questions inside nail saloon… and I can only imagine the kind response and blank looks when them been give you as you dey ask self… lol.

CandySprinkles said...

I'm definitely not new to the world of getting acrylic nails done but I've never gotten patterned nails. Maybe I should try that next. Although I'm not too sure what design to get...

~Mimi~ said...

for a minute i felt like asking why in the world her name is Mimi but i decided to let it slide...

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@candysprinkles: see some patterned nails just look skally and ‘streetwalker’ but trust me some of them are cute… especially when you have a colour on… and do the pattern on it(I’m not such a big fan of patterns on clear acrylics… but maybe that’s just me)… tell me how it goes

@Mimi: lol… talented people are called mimi now… so be glad… very glad oh… I mean you have to think of what impact this woman had on me for me to be remembering her name like that now… have a great week mimi

Daddy's Girl said...

LOL... God bless all the Mimis of the world.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Daddy’s Girl: Amen!!! lol

Maiden Voyage said...

As a fellow nail junkie I feel ya (well sans the acrylic). There's no better feeling like "getting your nails did"..like my afro-americans will say. But above everything else is your funny ass story...LMAO. I am most inclined to call you a nutter. Please accept this as a compliment and nothing else...lol!!