Friday, April 27, 2007

Where are you now?

I remember the day you came home with me… so high, so cute… so red

You were so nice to have around… you matched all my moods

Everybody wanted to know where I’d found you... they wanted 'inside' your 'heaven'

you were in a class of your own so I never bothered with an alternative

… we were gonna go places together

Anwu na eti na abali Imo, Milan… Italy, Taiwan… Ajegunle, Sudan

Remember the first party we went to…

…that gala… I was wearing my black skinnies and white Chinese shirt

And you were… just… you.

Sexy, classy… classic

Then the other party… I was rocking my little black dress with the wide red belt

… and you

Oh and then there was the Nigerian party… then the movie date… and the mall trip

We were so good together

Now you’ve known about my wedding date for a while now

Actually I wouldn’t really call it a date… My Jehovah Witness basically told me 2 weeks ago that he wants me to come with him to a wedding tomorrow… his friend this Jamaican girl is getting married to some African guy. It's gonna be me, him and the 'jungle peeps'... I know... great friends... I've had some of the best times with those people... can't wait.

So this is my second ever wedding… I didn’t invite you to the first one I went to when my Zambian friend married her Ghanaian fiancée… cos it was a day of whites and blacks and blues… those aren’t really your patterns

See this wedding… I really wanted you to come… you would fit right in…

But I can’t find you

I’ve searched high and low and everywhere inbetween

But I can’t find you

I’ve called friends to see if they know where you are

… but they laugh(Yes Ms. BA aka Home Scientist I’m talking to you)

I thought we were gonna share the spotlight together forever

But it seems that you’re gone from me

I’m going through emotional withdrawal because I got so used to you cheering me up on the weekends

Oh Material Grief!!!

See the yellow outfit seems dull without you

Maybe I have to reimagine it… find a replacement cos your loss has created a vacuum

It’s even worse cos I can see half of you in my room… taunting me… reminding me of what I’ve lost

Oh how I wish you would come back and make things right in my ‘nightlife’

Left foot of my 3 inch red stilettos…. Where are you now?


azuka said...

Got me there Overwhelmed!

Anonymous said...

First!!!!! yes! yes! I'm going to bed now.

Boso said...

LOL. That was mad funny.

Henry said...

lmao, at least this post was wasted on those who did not desrve the thoughts..

mofara said...

HA HA HA ,aburo mi you are a nutcase.i will reply your email u hear,im just wrapping up,im back in london on the 14th!
im so glad to see you back.and dont worry,we will replace the red heels with something fiercer and much higher.i thought i was the only one who gets kolo when things happen to my shoes or bags or even clothes sef!
hooray,OWNB is here to stay!!!
may all enemies drop and wetin?
DIE!!(remember my m.f.m gist oh,na true)
your dahling sister

tiwalade said...

lol...eyah! you got me as well!
Nice to have u bak

Elle Woods said...

lol......kinda figured you were talking bout shoes.

LondonBuki said...


Anonymous said...

LOL. That was mad funny. d.o.g

Spook E said...

That was the funniest read I've had today, thanks.

Stay fly with or without those stilletos.

Idemili said...

I knew you were talking about shoes! Nne, I feel your pain. Di e ya! E go better. When you guys are truly meant to be together again, you will find it.

Mad Soul said...

u're an idiotic membrane-voiding fool (ya, look it up), u're a complete ragacookie- nonsense!
here i was thinking ur yellow ass was talking about me! ur shooe? odensie! may u never find that shoe! nonsense! cestassss paribuuusssss!

Naijalove said...

LMAO!! I was thinking it was like a childhood male friend who was now in the pic only to get to the end...hahaha

Anonymous said...

lol...eyah! you got me as well!
Nice to have u bak

Naija Vixen said...

that was funny babes!!!how r u doing?hav a great week!!!

Kafo said...

i read it twice
still it didn't click

i am slow
o ma se ooooo

Nyemoni said...

HAHAHAHA You really made me smile girl....... You got me on that one for real... like a very good movie, where all the pieces of the puzzle fall in to place at the very end... this post reminds me of why I love reading you.... Great post!

btw, sent you a mail and it bounced back....dunno why o! Pls drop a line @

racquelle-cutie said...

yeah that was funnyy,i was thinking it was some guy then also thinking how sweet,till i reached the end,that was a good writing technique

Simply Gorgeous said...

You are so funny,ONB- I knew you were talking about your shoes! I hope you find them....

LonelierThanAkon said...


Glad2knou u r doing great.

PS: if u find ur shoes, could u pls check if it eloped with my superman briefs.

Pink-satin said...

lol!let leg of ur red stilletos...2 funny

Uzo said...

Hilarious...LOL....LOL....Okay, so where could you have lost a leg?

Bitchy said...

LOL!! Xxx

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Azuka: glad to know I did… lol. Been such a long time you came first on this site so it’s a special day… I think I’m going to buy myself 2 pairs of shoes to celebrate this(notice how I said they were for me not you… lol… but don’t worry I will be thinking about you as I’m wearing them)

@Anonymous: No first oh my dear… but I sha hope you got your good night sleep… happy Monday!

@Boso: lol… thanks sweetie… hows the baby?

@Henry: Ahhhh…

@Mofara: Kosi problem egbon… take your time with it… my dear if you see as the shoe pain me ehn… I went through hell finding those shoes cos my feet are humongous so to find something in my size na like ‘camel passing through the eye of a needle’ literally… so me I’m going to say special prayer point on behalf of that shoe… because I’m not willing to let go yet oh… lol… hope you’re enjoying the good weather oh… me I’m sha getting my groove on… went out last night.. looked so fucking cute… no be small oh… welcome to summer!!! Short skirts and dresses again… yay!!!

@Tiwalade: thanks gorgeous… I’ve missed you

@Elle woods: lol… I know you feel the same way about yours… but on the real the mystery of how one leg of my shoe disappeared just like that I still can’t explain but me I’m taking it the lord in prayer no lie… that shoe is one of my favourites… and is bloody sold out so I can’t get another pair!

@LondonBUki: shebi the fact that me I’m looking for my fine red shoe is making you laugh… in fact me I’m going to go under serious meditation and pray that you self you loose one leg of your own favourite shoe so that when you come and tell us about it me too I can come on your page and LOLLLLLL … lol

@Anonymous: lol… funny to you maybe… but me I’m in mourning

@Spooke E: awwww… thanks sunshine… but you’re right I’ll try to stay fly without the stilettos… actually I am still… warm weather coming back… oh my gosh… you have no idea… I wish I’d taken a picture when I went out last night… your girl killed it… you suppose trust… them go die this summer! Lol

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Idemili: lol… you know you’re my blogsister so you’re almost always in my head… lmao@ we’ll be together again if we’re truly meant to be’ and people call me crazy… lol… so people and their shoes have destiny too abi… but abeg babe when you sleep tonight… no forget to say a little prayer for me oh… that shoe means a lot to me oh!

@Madsoul: hilarious undergarment oshi… what about the melodious rythms I created on this post say anything that looks like it could have anything to do with you henh? Prolific protozoa!!! You berra watch your tongue before I send short man devil to visit you… friendly to short men wearing bright colours buruku… lol. Don’t let me pronounce judgement on those your new bebe shoes oh because if you loose one pair I know you will travel over the whole city speaking that your morrocan English with Iraqi accent… war disciple oshi! Lmao

@Naijalove: lol… no oh… na my shoe my dear… the thing pain me no be small… and that shoe is cute enough to deserve such a ‘homage’… how you been angel? I’ve missed you… I’ll come and check you out in a little

@Anonymous: Thanks

@Naija Vixen: I’m doing good oh my dear… weathers getting better…. Now we can put away the warm clothes and the real sexy can start… yay… double yay… triple yay… quadruple yay… pentaple?(lol… abeg someone tell me what you say for this one… lmao) yay!!!

@Kafo: I think you need to drink small soy milk oh… but I will pray for you as I’m praying for this shoe… lmao… you’re a funny person sha

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Nyemoni: Awww… thanks angel… I’m glad you liked it… but at the same time keep in mind that this shoe really means a lot to me… so if there’s a little prayer you can say somehow cos I know God listens to you a lot… abeg say it oh… remember to say ‘overwhelmeds red shoe’ because if you pray for another colour… it might not be effective or I might even end up loosing another pair… lol. Oh k… I’ll email you later on today… I wonder why it bounced sha… but kosi problem… I go email you

@racquelle-cutie: lmao… thanks angel… I’m glad you liked it

@Simply gorgeous: yay!!! Another shoe lover like me ehn… I really hope I find them too oh… I made my friend search her entire her house oh… all my friends actually keep laughing at me … I guess somehow its funny for someone to be looking for one leg of their shoe in Canada… well me I dey talk am as e dey pain me jare

@LonelierThanAKon: oh my gosh I missed you sweetie.. where you been? Its been such a while… I hope you’re alright too.. what have you been doing that you didn’t even update your blog self and let us know what you’re up to… I hope this means you’re finally back… I’ll come and check you out larra! Lmao… I will ask my shoes those very questions if I find em.. and if you find your ‘superman’ briefs before I find my shoes… abeg do the same for me. I mean I’m willing to go all the way with this thing oh… if all else fails… me I will call on blogsvilles resident psychic ‘unnaked soul’ for him to interpret the cosmic kinikon aligning the movement of my shoes… I don’t play oh! lol

@Pink- Satin: lol

@Uzo: lol… to say the whole thing flabbergasts me is an understatement… as in I don’t even know oh… I have thrown my entire house upside down looking for my beloved shoe. I even started doing mind tracing.. thinking back to the last time I wore those shoes about 4 weeks ago at my friends house… so I figured I might’ve left it at her house cos I slept over there that night… but they said they didn’t find it… except I lost it on my way back home… my dear the whole thing get as e be…

@Bitchy: lol… it’s serious oh

BOBBY said...

You know MS. BA??? haaaaaaa! lol.

Check your email...

In my head and around me said...

Good one. You should write a script for a movie.

The Mistress said...


The "So high and so cute" line had me scratching my head.


Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@bobby: lol… yes I do… I replied you.. check your email… it’s a bloody small world isn’t it

@in my head and around me: script for a movie ke? E never reach me like that oh… maybe I’ll start out with some contest thing that my friend really thinks I should write a creative entry for…

@The Mistress: lol… glad you liked it.. I’ve missed you mami… I’ll come on your blog tomorrow and see what you’re up to.. it has been a while… hope you’re alright and enjoying the good weather

Olawunmi said...

i knew it knew it knew it!!!

onb talks to her shoes!!!

uknaija said...


luminousnubian said...

awww! hope you find your shoes, you must be in tears lol!

Vickii said...

I am forwarding this to Noni now because only you and her would ever write a long elaborate ode to your shoes ... lol! Very funny ... hope you find them.

Naijadude said...

Crazy u areeeeeeeeeeeeee

Noni Moss said...

Lol - so did you find it in the end?

Daddy's Girl said...

LOL. Hilarious! Very clever... I know the feeling...