Monday, April 09, 2007

Untainted Love

Annette knew her husband Darin was cheating on her. He had started keeping late nights, being really rude and not really caring what happened in their home. Oh he was responsible enough. He kept her in a very hip lifestyle… she had the beautiful house in the beautiful city, her choice of cars and unlimited funds for vacations and shopping trips… but the fact remained that Darin was cheating on her.

She’d suspected for a while… the sneaking out to answer certain phone calls, the sudden change of conversation whenever she entered the room… his abrupt shift in moods… oh yes… Mrs. Annette Williams knew her husband was cheating.

Annette loved her husband dearly and didn’t want to let him go. She was a good woman and decided she wouldn’t let go without a fight… she didn’t want to be a divorcee… a single mother… a laughingstock.
So she stuck it out

At first she argued with him… she complained every time he came home late, she stayed up waiting… she nagged and nagged

The voice within told her she was slowly pushing him away so she planned a different strategy: To kill him with kindness

She loved him and she loved him and she loved him even more
She kissed him welcome when he stepped home from work at midnight
She stopped asking him why he always smelt like perfume she never used

She made him breakfast and lunch and dinner even when she knew he might not come home to eat it
She smiled even when she was crying inside
…. Oh how she loved that man

Slowly but surely, he started missing home… he remembered the way they used to be. He saw the beauty of her soul and started missing home.

He reduced his late nights…they started making love again…

Everything was looking up. For the first time in a long time, they were laughing with each other, calling each other pet names, loving each other…
…. Still, Darin kept his side-piece…

On his way to one of his ‘weekend office meetings’, Darin told his wife Annette to pack a few things for him…

In silent tears, Annette put in 2 white oxford shirts, his black and navy blue dress pants, 2 ties, a polo shirt and khaki shorts, his Calvin boxers, moisturizer and toothbrush… and a box of condoms…

Yes, in her husbands travel bag… a trip she wasn't going on... Annette packed in a box of condoms

She knew Darin was cheating… but at least now he’d know that she knew. He’d know that she loved him enough to just want his safety…he’d realize how much she was hurting.

On the flipside, this could just as well turn around and bite her in the ass. There was a possibility that Darin might just think that she accepted it… that it was ok… that the beautiful house and the cars and the money made up for his indiscretions. Darin might even think he could flaunt his mistress now that it was out in the open... there'd be no reason to hide anymore...

Nothing was black... or white. Annette was living in shades of grey... something just had to give.

That night, Darin got into bed with his mistress and saw it…

He saw his shame looking him right in the face
He saw a wife who loved him… a woman who loved him enough to want to protect him
He saw a wife he knew he didn’t deserve
A wife he knew he had to spend the rest of his life making up for the hurt he’d caused her

At 11.45pm, Darin put on his Calvins and went back home… to his wife.

*I wrote this after watching Games Men Play... I think this was the most powerful scene in the movie(all 3 parts of it... lol).*


44 comments:

Ugo Daniels said...

Am i FIRST??? lemme see...

Ugo Daniels said...

well, this story is exceptionally unique...makes for interesting perusal

Kiibaati said...

Love. The verb, not the noun, is the most powerful thing... That woman loved him even when there was no reason to, just like she cooked, kept the house and mothered his children. What kind of a man will not be ashamed not to return that love?

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

You know what, as I was reading this towards the end I thought the guy might actually think his wife had accepted things, - him going home was like a flip side - I liked that.

The way you had to add the condom story actually got me thinking, or else I would have assumed it would all end well. So even though it did, there was a twist. Good on you guirly.

So how has your day been. Very well I hope.

zaiprincesa said...

Hmm..box of condoms, ko, box of condoms ni..hssss...how bout i put a lil rattle snake in ur suitcase..one that'll slither out and bite ur little *&^%....??? HOW BOUT THAT!!!..
Sorry...lol..my bad..lost it there, for a sec.

Happy Easter Babes....

Orientatednaijababe said...

Nice tale...it must have been really painful for that woman, but i commend her for expressing her love in that way...if women can learn to do less nagging and more loving it might actually help divorce rates (though guys will always be guys).

Mrs Somebody said...

Overwhelmed you have been to every single blog in blogsville,wishing every blogger happy easter.Trust ONB to do the 'unusual',for that,you deserve and Award.

Bubbles said...

It's a nice story, but i'm too cynical to think that would ever really happen. It actually reminds me of the thinkks people in my mother's generation would do.

Freaky Deaky said...

For some reason I expecting her to poke holes in the condoms or something. That's what you call a strong and patient person.

Owimin said...

Isn't this one of those movies that Uche Jombo wrote. Games Men play or something of the sort.

nene's thots said...

hey mami, Hope u had a good easter. This story actually was in that naija movie called "games men play" really from A-Z so omo if na u think of this story, u need to find out how to sue dem people for stealing ur stuff. But honestly things like this happen everyday. Do not repay evil for evil but with good.

TaureanMinx said...

Im not really sure what to say to Oriented Naija babe so I won't say anything. I pray that we r all granted the same strength that this woman had. Its not an easy decision to make.

9jamommy said...

Happy Easter dear! o girl I don't know about any bloody condoms in his bag o! if he doesn't love me enough to take my nagging and realize that I'm 'the one' then oh well oh well.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Ugo Daniels: Yes you are first oh… today’s prize is some of the spicy grilled chicken I made last night… the first time I ever made grilled chicken… and it actually tastes ‘eatable’… you’re in luck… lol@exceptionally unique… that’s a good thing right?

@Kiibaati: it is the most powerful thing isn’t it… makes us do things we’d never imagine we could or would…

@The life of a stranger: It could’ve gone either way… but I like the way that drama resolved itself. My day’s been alright… I’m about to go take a shower and leave the house… I hope you had a great weekend yourself

@Zaiprincesa: lol… I don’t know that I would’ve done the condom thing either… actually I know I wouldn’t have… but it’s interesting to see another side of the coin… the people that love that gently… and calmly… happy easter to you too mami…. Hope you had a great one

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Orientatednaijababe: I could only imagine how hard it must’ve been for her… but I probably wouldn’t go as far as saying women nagging is the reason for the high rate of divorces in our country… there are way too many other factors…

@Mrs. Somebody: lol… bring the awards on… hope you had a nice one though

@Bubbles: I know… maybe it’s a movie thing… but you never know babe… there are some really spiritual and patient women out there… God bless their hearts’

@Freaky Deaky: lmao… I feel you… my thoughts exactly!

@Owimin: I’m not sure who Uche Jumbo is… but yeah it was called Games Men play and the characters in it were Jim Iyke, Bob Manuel Udokwu, Mona Lisa Chinda, Kate Henshaw and Daroke … don’t really know the other characters’ names… great movie wasn’t it?

@nene’s thots: I did have a great easter… hope you did too… I wrote it after watching that games men play movie cos that scene touched me powerfully… I actually thought I’d mentioned it in the write-up… but after seeing your comment I went and read through and realized I hadn’t mentioned it… just did that now. that scene made me cry cos I know females like that… those saintly females but thank God in the movie world they get theirs… cos in real life… most of them don’t.

@TaureanMinx: I know… that’s exactly how I felt… I mean from the outside looking in, it seems like an easy decision… leave his bitch trifling ass… but when you’re in…. there are too many factors to consider… to many emotions involved… may we never have to make these sort of decisions ever… AMEN!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@9jamommy: Happy easter to you too… hope you had a great time with the family… lol.. I’m not on that giving him condoms tip either… but different strokes for different folks right…

Soul said...

Happy Easter aburo..

Oh and this is exactly why this is a movie and not reality. This is also one of the reasons why I just detest most Nollywood movies..

The women almost always have to go out of their bodies and prove that they love this particular man beyond all reason, beyond all borders, beyond themselves and most importantly above their own humanity.

In my mind, there is no dignity in what this woman did. None what so ever.
She basically has said, no matter what I will love this man even if he will not and does not love me in return.
She knew the man was cheating, so why not act like an adult, call him to sit down and ask what is wrong with their relationship.
There is absolutely no need to nag him or have a 'go' at him, just ask him what's up?.
What's going on?.
If the man says he is bored, then tell him that you can both work on livening things up, if he says he no longer loves you.. then ask him if this is something that he is sure of. If he is.. then leave.

So she was patient, she started to show him more affection after he decided to step out.
That is one seriously self esteem lacking woman.. and one extremely unhealthy and childish relationship.

Get's 'my goat' every single time I hear stuff like this

dairy of a G said...

Annette played it just like i would
fucke with his conscience. reel clever..

Bitchy said...

Have never seen the movie, but I heard its gooood. Happy easter to you too ONB. Have just spent the last half hour catching up on what I've been missing. Well done for ignoring that silly Kimor on the bus! What a weirdo! You deserve better... Perhaps MJW will turn out to be worth it? Nawa for your interesting life. Take care Xxxx

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Soul: Thanks egbon… hope your easter was good… mine was alright… chilled out and slept a lot… ate kidney bean stew and grilled chicken(that I made myself… it doesn’t get any better… lol). I sort of thought that when I watched that scene… is there really anybody that serene… that calm… that saintly? I mean I’d heard of women ignoring affairs… pretending they didn’t exist… that everything was ok… but actually putting the condom in the carrier bag sounded a bit much… but then again we don’t know cos we haven’t been there. This is the sort of thing that I think would actually happen back home… something maybe our mothers or mothers mothers would try… they’d feel that by loving him that way… they were doing the moral thing… the virtuous thing… the expected thing. I agree that from watching Nigerian movies, it would seem that the women love harder than women from any other part of the world, sacrifice more… perhaps the fault is not the industry… but the society itself. I mean in Nigerian society, the man’s word is law… period... being Mrs. Somebody is every females life ambition, so anything that upsets that balance is either dealt with ‘traditionally(babalawo and love potions) or ‘spiritually’(endless prayer sessions with pastor and ‘virtuous behaviour’). I would not have done what she did… put condoms in his bag… I dey craze? No I wouldn’t have done that… but I kind of understand where a lot of these women are coming from… they place so much stock by material shit and ‘what people think’… they can’t bear anything that puts a chink in that façade so even if it means grinning when they’re slowly dying inside… it’s a small prize to pay for being Mrs. Williams, driving the last bmw and shopping in London every summer. Afterall, if she left, all she’d be doing would be giving the mistress a chance to take her place… plus how could the children grow up without a father. It’s sad… terribly sad… but it’s our society… and until women start asserting themselves… speaking up… not taking it anymore… it’s not gonna change. I mean I see women in these movies crying when their husband doesn’t eat their food.. after HE COMES HOME LATE FROM HIS GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE… WTF.. seriously… it pisses me off… but I understand it. A lot of stuff Nigerian people and consequently Nollywod does they base on their interpretation of the scripture… ‘a virtuous woman is the heart and soul of the family’.. bla bla bla… a case of taking the scriptures too literally? I wouldn’t know… I’m obviously no expert on bible matters. I sort of admired the woman though… cos I’d have been leaning more towards chopping his balls off and feeding them to him for breakfast… but maybe I’ve become too Canadian… lol…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@diary of a G: lol…you’re ever funny

@Bitchy: It’s really good… funny at times too… Chinedu Ikedieze’s part in the movie was beyond hilarious… I was laughing so hard I couldn’t stand it… hope you had a great weekend angel.. it’s been a while… Mjw is cool… but I’m taking more time to just chill out and figure me out… I don’t wanna rush anything sha… dang kimor is old news sha… you have been out of the loop for a while abi… welcome back sha

Anonymous said...

I agree with Soul. Women should stop allowing themselves to be dehumanised this way. Only in Nigeria. It's disgusting. If the reverse were the case...how many men would condone such trifling behaviour?RUBBISH

The Professor said...

Damn! You're good!

In Her Mind said...

I LOVED THAT MOVIEEEEEEE! KAI!!!
honestly the best approach, the best everrrrrrrr! that is love, that's what i mean by dedication, complete dedication to fixing a problem. it's hard to do but such is life.

Nyemoni said...

Was this a Nolly wood movie? I should think not.... the story line is more hollywood.. Wow, the woman try o.... I don't see a 9ja woman doing that kinda thing for sure... Nice post anyhow, we can't all be the same I guess.

Waffarian said...

Heheheheheheh, Na only for Naija films that kain thing dey happen! The end of the story in all naija movies:The man will come back to the wife after patience and don't forget "prayers", and what does that mean? Women, as idiotic and stupid as your husband may be, do not move an inch. Swallow all that shit and infact, beg for more, pack condoms, shop underwear for the lady, let her come into your home, infact be ready to be number 2. My dear, being of the jealous kind, this story no sweet me at all oh! If na me, na pepper for dey inside those condoms!

Waffarian said...

Oh, I also wanted to say: Good to have you back! We missed you!

יושה (Yosh) said...

So touching...if only all the endings turn out so. But damn, that's some love there.

Nice writing sample! :)

UnNaked Soul said...

uhm, haven't seen it. sounds like a tough situation...

miss you lot babes *wink*

omohemi Benson said...

beautiful piece.

Naija Vixen said...

I agree...!That was the best part of the whole film...even though Uche jombo was annoyn the hell outta me for putting up with Jim Iyke's Ish...guud one babes!!!

temmy tayo said...

I have to watch that movie.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Anonymous: I agree with soul as well… but unfortunately it’s the nature of our society jare… because like you said… the men won’t take it.. so why fucking dish it out?!?!? E get as the whole thing be sha

@The Professor: lol… coming from you… thanks

@In her mind: The movie was fantastic wasn’t it?! See the reason it touched me was because I mean that’s not something I would do… but somehow I saw that being that stupid… that naïve… that saintly sometimes gets you what you want… it takes patience and some fucked-up meekness… but sometimes that’s what works… the only thing is I’m not quite cut out for that shit… I ain’t giving him no damn condoms… is he bloody crazy? Lol…

@Nyemoni: Yeah it is a nollywood movie… no oh babe… probably the way I wrote it was Hollywood(using Annette and darin instead of okeke and titilola… but I wanted to write it like that and see if people would identify it as a mainly Nigerian problem or if it was a universal thing)… I think say it’s mostly in Nigeria that you find that ‘prayer-warrior and I’ll-take-anything-that-comes-my-way-as-long-as-I-can-remain-his-wife’ type of love…

@Waffarian: I tell you babe… I no fit either sha… cos that would not the first thing that pops into my mind… cos it’s not ok to cheat… and I won’t have him thinking it is… he can go out there and get his hivs and I’ll be come patiently waiting to receive them from him… but I could hear some traditional Nigerian saying we’ve all become too ‘westernized’… ah well. Thanks for missing me sha… I missed you too… and my entire blog family… y’all rock!

@yosh: Thanks angel

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Unnaked Soul: I’ve missed you too winks back… lol

@Omohemi Benson: Thanks mami

@Naija Vixen: oh the lady’s name is Uche Jombo? I like her acting… she’s beautiful and has great range I find… but you’re right I was like this kind person dey for this life?

@Temmytayo: oh you certainly have to… it’s quite interesting

Jem said...

Nice story but God forbid we ever have to be in such a situation!!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Jem: I pray that prayer with you… God forbid jare… how you been mami?

Soul said...

Aburo..
lemme say something right now..
When people say it is the nature of our society for 'women to be the docile ones and be the patient ones' they are not telling the truth.

They are talking about the nature of their personal backgrounds and what has been driven into their heads by force or by negligence!

Point to the history of any region in Naija and you will be able to point out strong women, women who led men into battle, women who left husbands because they just weren't cutting it.

I know of a woman who left the Kings palace in the 40's (yes 1940's) because she just didn't agree with the way he was running things..

There are whole regions where people say.. ahh if you marry women from this place, you have to be sharp o.. because these women will not take mess.

Our mgreat grand mothers and sometimes our grand mothers are getting their history re-written and being done a great dis-service.
I know pretty darn well that yoruba women left there husbands. Well actually Yoruba women used to be the ones to go out to trade, whilst the men stayed behind.

But all this history is being revised.. and some concocted bullshit stories about women dying for their men is being left in it's place.

I'll give it to you, that you get more desperation like this in younger marriages i.e. where the woman is still in her early 20's and that is primarily because at that point she still believes that she can change the person if only she does this... or that.. in addition.. there now seems to be some perverted custom where our parents are not really looking out for our best interests.. they don't care anymore about our well being more about how marriage can enhance my family name, retain or improve our wealth and saving face.

It's a fucking tragedy.
And we collectively need to wake the fuck up.

I remember the first time my mother tried to say something about 'our tradition frowns on blah blah'.
I called her on it real quick like.

I said, you know you can't say that crap to me. If you wanted to use tradition as an excuse for people being stupid, then you shouldn't have made sure that I hung around the old folk and listened to them when they talked about history and how things worked back in the day.

She immediately clammed up.

Stupidity and desperation is not culture, hating one's self is not culture.

Disrespecting yourself for a man is not love.
Subverting your own needs in place of a man's is not love
It is called hatred for one's self.
And I wish to God, Nollywood would address that.

Anonymous said...

at soul: you hit the nail right on the head
saved

Bluntremi said...

I doubt most men would act the same!
I KNOW I wouldnt do the same. I would be long gone after trying to sort it out. And if a repeat offender...lets not go into details jare!!
Great post though!

Jem said...

@ ONB,

I am doing good. I hope you enjoyed ur easter :)

Chika said...

always look forward to your blogs...they are ever so interesting.

Mari said...

Thats a strong woman!

Anonymous said...

@mari: there's nothing strong about what she did. More like a cowardly,desperate act. Why would you, knowing your husband is messing around behind your back not confront him? Instead you put condoms in his bag. As if to say, it's ok for him to cheat as long he uses protection. Your average naija man would see that as encouragement to keep on cheating. Anyway,sha, na film. REAL life is quite diff from REEL life

Saved

Emz said...

I really like the idea of this, and the way the wife packed condoms to protect him. What I love most is the fact that you gave the story a happy ending, which maybe juvenile of me, but then I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I saw it from a different perspective though. What if the wife put in condoms, not to protect him, but to protect herself? I mean, she didn't know who Darin was screwing around with. If it was some skanky hoe who would give him raging gonorrhoea, then she had every right to make sure that HE wouldn't get it, so that SHE wouldn't get it. Why should she suffer the indignity of knowing her husband was cheating, and then suffer the indignity of cooties along with him? That would be even more tragic...