Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Just like a bad habit, I can’t shake him

He doesn’t even try, but Lord knows… this man has a hold on me.

My Jehovah Witness (MJW)

I can’t explain it so I won’t even try… but there’s something about him that makes me want to bring him out of his shell.

He’s not a great looking guy but lord knows this man is beautiful inside.

He has this slightly crooked somewhat self- conscious smile… a smile that says ‘I smile for you only… and only because you want me to’

He doesn’t like easily… but when he does, he likes so hard.

It’s so charming being around him… he reminds me of puppy love… the kind where you like each other for months but never say a word… the kind where the truth can be found in each others eyes… the kind that doesn’t need names or titles because it just is.
Everybody who knows the both of us figures we’ll get married in the future because we just have ‘that something’

We only started talking again about 2 weeks before Kimor and I broke up... 3 times in total.

When I was with Kimor, I never tried to talk about the potential of anything with my Jehovah Witness because I never cheated on Kimor and never wanted to. I knew that I wouldn’t physically cheat with the Jehovah Witness but we have such a connection that if I’d decided to go there, I could’ve emotionally cheated… we just have that thing that I have no words for.

The few conversations I had with My Jehovah Witness then were about the past… our past. I told him how he’d hurt me and he told me how I’d hurt him. We wanted to push that all aside so we could be friends without any bad memories from our past. During those conversations, I learnt that a person I’d thought was a close friend had lied about him, about GC… which was the major reason I had cut him off completely without looking back despite all his attempts to reach out and explain the situation. I was horrified cos I realized that I’d been unfair to him and hadn’t even attempted to listen to anything he had to say at the time, but now I realize it was a blessing in disguise.

It was a blessing in disguise because we had those 2 years to mature. Now, we both see things a little differently.

Kimor and I broke up on Monday. MJW wanted to cheer me up and took me to see my very first basketball game on Wednesday evening… the Toronto Raptors vs. Heats. We went with Mensah- a very good friend of ours. From the moment he came to pick me up, I knew it was still there… this was the first time we’d seen each other since ‘then’ and we both knew it was still there. That Overwhelmed and Witness chemistry, that Overwhelmed and Witness spark, that fire, that energy, that smooth waltz… yes it was still there.

I was 2 days single from the first guy I ever loved, but with the Jehovah Witness, Kimor never came to my mind once.

We had a complete blast at the game…
Ps. Shaq is a giant

He drove me home…and called me an hour later… he missed me already
I never told him but I missed him as well

We were supposed to chill last Sunday but I woke up late… I partied Friday and Saturday night. I was bone tired and had completely lost my voice.

We rescheduled for Tuesday. He came over at 11.45am and left 13 hours later(He locked his keys in his car and had to call a tow truck which took forever too). We were supposed to chill, watch a Nigerian movie and do his assignment which is due today.

We did all that
…. and a little more.

He kisses like a dream… the same taste to his kiss that I remember.

At one point in the evening, we had been chatting and he’d said something:

Overwhelmed: So that’s what you say to your friends?

My Jehovah Witness: You think of yourself as just my friend?

Overwhelmed: Yeah… well… we’re not going out or anything

My Jehovah Witness: Why… don’t you wanna go out with me?

Overwhelmed: ummm… go out as in what?

My Jehovah Witness: lol… as in being my girlfriend

{I’ve known this man for almost 3 years and this is the first time he ever asked me out. It’s funny how time changes things… he liked me way back when but things are so different now… he likes me so much more you can see it. He wants to be around me all the time and not in a jealous, insecure way. }

I didn’t answer his question because I don’t want to give a yes or a no. I don’t want to say yes because it’s too early… I really like this guy but I just want to be sure of what I’m doing… of myself… of us. I wouldn’t like to jump into it and jump out… I know there’s no guarantee for any relationship but perhaps I need a few more signs. I don’t want to say no… because I’m not even sure that I could… maybe a not now… no almost seems out of the question…

but there's a little part of me that also wonders if there's something else for me out there...

I know not to rush especially as he means too much to me to be a rebound. See that’s not the case here. The major problem is that I think we have something too good… maybe it’s not for now… cos what if we dated now and messed things up… it would actually be the end of "Our Witness Affair".

39 comments:

LondonBuki said...

LOL! "Witness Affair"?

You are hot stuff o... quick quick Witness is back... with a vengeance.

Take care my dear and do what you are comfortable with.

Enjoy your week sweetie.

Love to your Mummy.

Styles said...

Just wanted to b first...

Anonymous said...

ha ha i like your headline. thought u was talking bout you know who

glad to see someone's there for you
to take your mind off the obvious

but maybe just maybe those few conversations were the reason why kimor might have notice your lack of attention or a change

take it slow cause as you know the the begining's always the best.

good luck from here on out

Styles said...

...OK, now seriously... You seem to be getting over Kimor pretty fast. That just makes me wonder...

Nigerican said...

get it, get it girl lol.Shoot u know what they say "the best way to get over a man is to get under another" LMAO guess they r right.Kisses.

Anonymous said...

oh come on OWNB Crooked teeth MJW LOL
seems like the closest thing around

i think you should xplore... whatever happen to your "NO X RULE"

girl your in a vulnerable situation
but i'll tell you...MJW is lucky so don't cloud your mind... give spring a chance

hows mommy

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@LondonBuki: lol… my dear that’s exactly what it is oh… a ‘witness affair’ and believe me… it’s different from all others that I’ve ever known… whether this is a good or bad thing remains to be seen. Lol… hot stuff for where… I really don’t know how to explain this… you ever have one of those people that are just ‘it’… you could not talk for weeks, months, years… but whenever you do again… you just continue from where you left off? Sometimes it’s a friend… sometimes it’s more than a friend… the Jehovah Witness is that for me. I’m not trying to rush in… but it’s something worth exploring… maybe now… maybe later… time will tell… thanks for the mummy love… I haven’t been blogging at all for the past week or two… but I’ll be fully back soon… thanks for the constant love and bigups angel… I really appreciate it

@Styles: Ah unfortunately you weren’t first… perhaps next time. Sweetie… I didn’t know that there was a timeframe to get over someone. I didn’t say I was completely over him… and I didn’t say I wasn’t… I just made mention of something that is happening to me recently… besides… even if I was getting over him pretty fast… I would think that’d be a good thing… I mean this is the guy who ________________ after all… no? Styles I think as people we should go for whatever works for us… if I had decided to get over kimor in 10 months, 10 weeks, 10 days or 10 hours… that in no way trivializes anything that we were… or how I felt at the time… just shows that I’ve made a conscious decision to move on with my life… but thanks for the comment… I guess its different strokes for different folks.

@Anonymous: lol… I went and read the headline again… and yes it did seem like it was about *him *. The situation with the Jehovah Witness is one of the few things I can’t really explain… I mean he’s the one person out of every guy I’ve ever talked to/dated/ with whom there’s always been a possibility of us always being… always liking each other. I mean even if I was still with Kimor, I would have to watch my friendship with him or cut it off completely if we got too close cos I’d still like him no matter what…
No… it wasn’t the conversations with the witness that caused the problems with Kimor… it was Kimor that caused the problems with Kimor. I had only cleared the air with the Jehovah Witness because there were so many untruths surrounding our non-friendship those past two years. That was all we did… and that was good enough for then… it’s just I guess now that Kimor isn’t in the picture… maybe…

But yeah thanks for the advice… I’m not really making any concrete decisions at this point… I’m just doing me for now… we’ll see how things go

Soul said...

see overwhelmed..
Just smile. i tell you, the universe has a way of blessing you when you smile.

There really isn't anything much to say.
You already realise the danger of the rebound, but I'd honestly say this.. go with the flow.

Awhile back, a 2 year relationship I was in unravelled, 8 weeks later I started 'talking' to someone, I knew I was attracted to this person but I was cool to let it be. We got together and it was the best thing ever!.

The best place to keep yourself is open. Some people think that acting like their life is over is the most appropriate way to mark the end of a relationship...
I would disagree and say.. keep doing what you are doing.
Life is about living.. so keep living.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@anonymous2:mommy is great thank heavens... i appreciate everybodys concern...it's a beautiful thing

boorish male said...

Sounds like a rebound to me. Be carefull

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

Hey babes,

just go with the flow and follow ur heart thats what id say, but at the same time do be careful.

hows Mama ONB?

Flirtygucci said...

just cos u loved someone dont mean u can't get over d person quickly.....after all d relationship is over so u gotta get on.....howeverrrrrr, just make sure poor ol' witness doesn't turn to d rebound guy

omohemi Benson said...

Take it slow love,
I wish you all the best!

chioma said...

glad to hear ur mum is hale and hearty..Thank God..what can i say about the witness? take it slow..i think you need a few weeks on your own before u think of another relationship as ur espiecially vunerable now.All the best and dont close the door on kimor yet.

chika said...

Hey gurl,
glad that you have a distraction from kimor'd drama.i'd tell you sumfing,i grew up in the organization as the JWs call it and even thot i am no longer practicing,i know that they are beautiful people with a bible trained conscience.as a matter of fact,they are usually very boring as a result of their faith so you are quite lucky cos your JW sounds like fun.i could be wrong but chances that yr JW will be a true friend are very high.wish you all the best and please and dont rush into anything.

Idemili said...

Wetin! Nne, kwe m n'aka! Already your okpa oku is working overtime, drawing them from far and near!

Err on the side of caution but follow your heart. Do your thing.

azuka said...

With our Jehovah Witness (yeah, he's ours too! :-D), you're sure to get over Mr K. Now that would be fantabulous...

temmy tayo said...

Take things easy. I am sure that things will surely work out for you.

Noni Moss said...

Hmm - hot stuff ;-)

I think just go with your gut instinct. Its nice he's payign attention to you - exactly what you need right now. If your gut says take it slow - then take it slow. Give yourself time to be sure this is really what you want.

Glad your mum is doing better.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Gosh, as long as you know you need to let yourself heel before getting into another relationship I will suggest you should keep keeping yourself busy. All is well.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Soul: Egbon Mi… I read that smile comment over and over again… cos I knew exactly what you were saying… that’s probably why I’m not sitting at home eating ice cream… depressed… cos I chose to smile. Kimor was there for a period… and meant so much when he was… but I know me… I can’t wallow… he made sure of that with the last things he said to me. I know about the ‘rebound’ stuff… and I don’t think the Jehovah Witness is that… but I’ll still give it time, take it easy… and see how things go. I really wouldn’t want to be with him ‘just because’… I deserve more and so does he. Even if nothing materialized with us…he’ll always mean something to me… he takes me back to good times… really good times. You’re right Egbon… I mean I don’t knock people who act get depressed and loose it at the end of a relationship, but that’s not really me… I’ve been hit with stuff my entire life… I’ve been hit harder than this… at least Kimor’s not my family… someone who fathered me has said worse… done worse… and I’m still here… so why should I break down now? I deal with stuff differently than most folks… I’d cry if I ever wanted to… but never just for show… I’ll be sad if I wanted to… just not to make people see how ‘genuine’ I am… the way I felt for Kimor was all over my face when I saw him… in the words I wrote here about him… and now that he’s out of my life… I will do me… End of story… Like queen said… “The show must go on”(or is it David bowie self? Lol… worreva)

@Boorish Male: I will be… thanks

@36 Inches: Hey mami… I will be careful… and take my time with it… Momsi is ok oh… doing good… just taking some time off and stretching her bones jare… I don’t want my mama overworked and stressed and sick so we’re all enforcing this ‘time off’… it’s beautiful… I missed you mami… today is blog reading time(Lord I hope I can catch up… it’s been so long!!!)

@FlirtyGucci: Exactly!!! I’m not even over him completely… I’m just doing me…and not ‘wallowing’… thanks mami

@Omohemi Benson: Thanks angel… I appreciate it…

Kpakpando said...

this bobo na just rebound dude, if he's your friend, don't use him as your rebound.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@chioma: Yeah mommy is good. Kimor’s over and done with big sister mine… I couldn’t possibly be with him after that… but I agree on the taking it slow part… thanks

@chika: lol.. I’m now sure MJW would like to be called a distraction but I hear you sha… lol@boring…yeah some of them have some things stuck up their you know what… he’s different cos he’s not even that loud but he’s so funny when you get to know him… shy even though he’s a little older than me… it’s just so cute… I know… even if we don’t go the ‘romantic route’… I think we might remain good friends…

@Idemili: lol… nne okpa oku ke? Enwero kwa ifem na eme oh… I just dey my own oh… but fa achoro ira pum aka… lol… but I guess mmecha tonight… I will call my mama to thank her for the okpa oku… because something ona emeterem some miracles… Thanks angel… e don tey I come your blog(or anybody elses for that matter… be prepared for overwhelmed fire today… we go yarn)

@Azuka: You’re beautiful… thanks angel

@Temmytayo: Thanks sweetie… I really hope they do

@Noni Moss: That’s exactly what I plan to do… take my time with it and figure out if it’s really what I want

@The Life of a Stranger called me: All is well my sister… thanks

@Kpakpando: Hmm.. everybodys talking about this rebound stuff… I’ll look into it more… I don’t think he is… but ‘agbako nyuo mamiri ya agba ofufu’… I’ve heard that a few too many times not to ‘rethink, re-analyze’… I’ll let you know how it goes when it goes…

Ugo Daniels said...

interesting, intriguing and totally sound blogging.

Keep it up girl!

mphae said...

lolol yayyyy!!!

Simply Gorgeous said...

Overwhelmed- You move very fast. I think it is a good idea to move cautiously after your breakup with Kimor. He seems like a good guy, but I know it can be better with time.

Bella Naija said...

wait...
this seems to have the potential to be something good...
dont waste it as a rebound...

hope y r feelin better girl

Orientatednaijababe said...

girl...take am easy o....u dont want this whole rebound things to bite u in the ass....but enjoy urself and remember no regrets!!!

Ineka said...

Hmmmm...I like new opportunities. :), but like they all said, don't hop into things on that rebound tip.
Things really do happen for a reason.

dolly said...

Take things easy

Uzo said...

Hmm..Overwhelmed my dear - slow down....LOL.You need to put Kimor to rest truly or else your witness will suffer when u start pining....

mimi said...

hi love, how r u, so wa pa. about ur ex boo, men are alays men, mehn. hows mama, much better i beleive. and u? stay strong, u go gurl, catchya..

Naijadude said...

Me go vex ooh

Mari said...

I concur with nigerican's comment! *wink*

Happy Easter.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Ugo Daniels: Thanks angel…for the comment and for stopping by my blog… I’ll check you out later

@Mphae: lol… double yay!!!

@Simply Gorgeous: I’ll keep that in mind… thanks mami

@Bella Naija: I’m much better Bella… thanks

@Orientated: lol… your name sounds like mine… so that automatically makes us blog sisters… you sound new so welcome to blogsville… thanks for the comment

@Ineka: I’ll keep it in mind angel… thanks

@dolly: I will… thanks

@Uzo: I hear you… I will definitely keep that in mind

@mimi: mommy’s much better thanks… I’m alright luv… glad you’re back.. missed you

@Naijadude: lol… why are you vexed now? Cos I’m not giving you a chance yet?lol

@Mari: Happy Easter to you too angel… have a great one

Anonymous said...

next post please...

Vera Ezimora said...

Lemme be the voice of your older sister:

Take ur time, and I do mean TAKE YOUR TIME! You just got out of a relationship; you need to resolve ur issues & feelings with Kimor. You don't have 2 stop talking to/hanging out with Witness guy, but don't date him yet.

Be sure you're completely over Kimor and be sure you're completely into Witness guy.

Oh, and do NOT sleep with him...that will complicate things.

stranger said...

hey there. i just did some catching up on your write. am sorry abt the pain. i still recommend the Healer. and girlfriend, don't you open that door before you close the other one. my two kobo.

Sparkle said...

hmm I see you got over the other guy already
I likes!!!
hmm do what you have to do
dats all I can say
but I'll say you should take things slow