Thursday, April 12, 2007

Just Go

Ringggg...

You have one new voice message left on April 11 from Kimor at 10.27am:
'yo waddup whelmed? Happy Anniversary Baby'


I never thought of it before, but after this message, Kimor, I’m getting a little worried about you: Are you hallucinating? on drugs?… an undiagnosed amnesiac?
What other explanation could there be for polluting my voice message box with your verbal diarrhea?

I was already breathing fire thinking about the fact that you think you still have the priviledge to call me ‘whelmed’… and now you've gone even further‘baby’

Baby?!?!?… ya na ga find ya bloodclot biaby?

Happy anniversary?!?! of what?!?!?!
Your stupidity? your mental and emotional unreliability?

Delusional entity oshi!

Kimor it’s funny cos everybody said you’d call back but I didn’t think you’d dare… I figured your pride… your manhood wouldn’t let you
Ahh… ‘manhood’… what was I thinking?

Kimor,

This is sad because when we were... I loved you
I loved you so much… so hard… so deep

I loved you with everything that was mine to give- my mind, body and soul


Days seemed brighter.. the nights seemed warmer when you were around

In the 11 months I knew you, it seemed like every happiness was offered and every happiness received…

I never had backup Kimor. For the first time in my life, there was no plan B.

With you, I lowered my inhibitions, my walls… the very things that had helped me cope in the past… this time I wanted it to work out
I didn’t want any distractions… but I guess loving you wasn’t enough…

With no advance notice and quite harsh words, you destroyed us
Your insecurities and paranoia destroyed us
Your immaturity destroyed us
Your last minute wickedness destroyed us

It was difficult for me to deal with then… and it still is

I was disbelieving for days… and angry…oh so angry... then the hurt kicked in and I cried

For the first time in my life, I cried for a man
I cried because I couldn’t believe what had happened… you had done this to me... to us
I cried because I realized that I was hurting the Jehovah Witness with your baggage so I had to give him space and take some ‘me time’, which I’m still doing
I cried because I started doubting myself… my ability to judge people, make decisions, and see the truth… I started doubting me.

Oh it still hurts... but everyday it gets better
By being so uncaring in your parting words, you gave me something that I appreciate in a roundabout way-
you gave me something to help me get over you

So now that I’m doing that, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME Kimor

Don’t call me.. don’t message me… just don’t!!!

Happy Anniversary ke?
You and who?! Anniversarying what?!?!
Come… if them send you, tell them say you no see me

Emi Overwhelmed lo fe fi se DROP AND PICK abi?!?!

You'll have greater success... and fun playing yo-yo with your nuts than my heart... cos I won't give you the chance to

In words you’ll understand and can relate to your boys Shove ya stinkass anniversary in a ya rass!

I’m ranting here just so I can maintain a dignified silence when you manage to get me on the phone cos with the way you’re going… except I choose to ignore all private calls and unrecognized numbers… you will eventually get me on the phone...

I’m not a nice enough person to wish that you find happiness and someone new cos with the way you treated me last minute… I don’t think you deserve it.

Go with the wind Kimor… just go

Ps. I’m wearing black today to mourn the loss of your senses.


60 comments:

linda ikeji said...

I found ur blog site thru bella naija.Nice nice nice!!!I must confess I havent read what u wrote yet.Just wanted to be the first to drop a comment. Ok..im going back to read ur writings! will be back!

Nkechi said...

yaaaaay!first?lol

In Her Mind said...

wow!!! you're strength is so amazing!!!! welldone!!!

In Her Mind said...

AM I FIRST???? YAYYYY

Surviving with Truth said...

am not first, am i?

mochafella said...

Erm, which wan be Prolific Kangaroo!!!

madsoulsista said...

KAIIIIII! mai sistaaaa! WLCOME BAKKKK
see why i loff u? dis wan na "GBAM"! lemme re-read this: "Are you hallucinating? on drugs… an undiagnosed amnesiac?
What other explanation could there be for polluting my voice message box with your verbal diarrhea?"

kai! u don do ds wan, no need for anymore conclusimacation (ya, look it up ;)
i loved the way u said all these things, then stooped to his level to tell him layman's terms that he can "relate to his boys" lmfao!
girl, dat was great.

Diaryofamadsoulsista said...

wait o, am i first???

omohemi Benson said...

Take it easy love ok,
Can you send him a text and just tell him to stay away,faraway.

Breathe love, be cool.

Ugo Daniels said...

Am i in wat position?

Idemili said...

I know I won't be the first, however allow me to put my 2 cents in:

Anu ofia Kimor ka no? Otolololo gba gbuo nwa ahu! Yes, I said 'nwa' because he is a child.

Ugo Daniels said...

Hmmm, this is deep. You see, left for me, i'd advise to just know what exactly da dude fcuking wants.

I'll be like, 'How may i help you'. 'Please, be fast as i don't have all day'

Mind you, he's probably gloating on the fact that yu are obviously distressed by everything.

You shouldn't have allowed him know the break up affected you so badly. It would have been something else if you'd sounded so cool and relaxed (though, ya feeling da exact opposite). That wold have def. thrown him off balance.

But i guess, its not as simple s it sounds.

Anyways, if you want to fcuk da guy up, holla privately so i get some dudes to do a number on him...(not joking!)

Mari said...

Hahahahah "I’m wearing black today to mourn the loss of your senses."

Your darling Kimor has probably come back to his senses.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Linda Ikeji: No problems… take your time… you actually were first… congrats… thanks for stopping by

@Nkechi: Lol… nah Linda took the title this time

@In her Mind: Thanks angel… it’s hard but I gotta be at peace with me… unfortunately you’re not first mami… so you don’t get the prize… a silver bellyring

@Surviving with Truth: lol… no you’re not first either

@Mochafella: lol… that one I no fit explain

Afrik said...

Woooooooow he really has some nerves. Your courage to not let him get to u is really nice. Hey i love dat word u used."Delusional entity oshi!"

Everchange said...

i'm a bit confused. I mean I understand being angry because he broke up with you, but not this...did he do something else? If he is a normal/sensible person (and I won't assume he is), he is missing you and still wanting your company. Now if he is not a normal/sensible person, then I get the anger.

TaureanMinx said...

Take it easy Overwhelmed. I wonder whats going on in his head though. Hows your mum?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@madsoulsista: lol… conclusimacation?!?! I knew from the first day I met you that you’re a complete nutcase(that’s how I knew we would get along… lol)… my dear the whole thing is just flabbergasting me sha… baby? Happy anniversary? Wtf?!does one keep anniversary dates of ended relationships?

@ Omohemi Benson: I don’t want to get in contact with him at all… but when I write stuff like this out… everything seems a little better… I can cope.

@Ugo: lol… you’re in position ‘not 1’. It is because I don’t want to give that edge over me… that I haven’t called him or returned his calls since we broke up. I know I’m still hurting and still have shit to deal with and figure out… so I don’t want him in the picture at all. I think you might’ve misunderstood what I wrote… I didn’t actually speak to him… so he doesn’t know if I’m ‘distressed’ or not… all he knows of me is the voice message I left on my inbox “hey you’ve reached overwhelmed and I’m not here to take your call… leave a message and I’ll call you back”… if that shows distress… then I’m not sure what doesn’t. lmao@guys doing a number on him… I’ve had many offers… and thanks… but nah… his conscience will do a number on him for me.

@idemili: nne eh… enwere nno ka the whole thing di biko… kedi ife this guy choro… okwa o breaki ela up… kedi zi ife oji na akpom enyeari ndum nsogbu? Ihe marvel mu bu ka osi kpom baby… ara ona agba ya? Mu na ya oka na eme baby? Ta kara ibu 10 months anniversary anyi…but anyi e break ala up… so kedu ka oga aka na e keep anniversary date? In fact munwa aghotaro the whole scenario… immaturity aburo nke obere…

temmy tayo said...

You really have to be strong babes, I know all will be well.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Mari: my dear the whole thing get as e be sha

@Afrik: I swear… I don’t even know where to begin

@Everchange: yes he did something else… I asked him why he didn’t call me for 5 days after I’d left him a message that my mom was in the emergency room and he asked me how that mattered… and if my mom would’ve cared if he was in the emergency hospital. That goes to cancel almost every normal/sensible thing he ever did or said… he broke up with me and didn’t care about me when I needed him most… so there’s nothing to discuss really… nothing to celebrate… nothing

@TaureanMinx: I have no clue what is going on in his head… don’t really care… just wish he’d leave me to my thoughts… moms alright… doing better…

@Temmytayo: Thanks luv… amen to that

akin aworan said...

Clearly, you seem to hanging tough, and that's to be applauded. As regards to this Kimor character, eloquently tell him to 'Go on, suun'!!

Freaky Deaky said...

Dude sounds like he has some problems. I hope I don't end up hearing a story about the neighbors calling the police on him because he was sitting on your porch Indian style, butt naked, and talking incoherently to himself about you.

It's funny that he's calling you about an anniversary instead of apologizing.

LittleGirlLost said...

ROTFLMAO @
I’m wearing black today to mourn the loss of your senses.

This Kimor was so very careless with your heart. Have you told him this? Because if he had any inkling of how much his words/actions offended you he'd be more careful in his approach.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Akin Aworan: My dear… I don’t even know what to say anymore… by the way I love it when people use Yoruba phrases here oh cos I want to learn how to speak Yoruba fluently within the next year… after that I’ll tackle French

@Freaky Deaky: lol… that was hilarious… you’re just a joker… lmao… hopefully that doesn’t happen

@LittleGirlLost: He knows Littlegirllost… I don’t think I need to open my mouth for him to know he hurt me… I’m not gonna go into all that… matter of fact all I just want is to be left alone… if he had an inkling.. he wouldn’t be more careful in his approach… he’d NOT APPROACH!

nosa101 said...

i'm back blogging...........kinda

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Nosa101: kinda meaning every once in 2 weeks? I hope not… how has school been… I emailed you… you get it?

Calabar Gal said...

If Kimor dosent mourn the loss of his senses then why should you? Forget Him O Jare!!

LOL @ everyone hoping they are first and yet nor being so sure. Time to try lifting the comment moderation?!?

Anonymous said...

Bravassima chica, Brava...

Men! this is good, I am so proud of you this moment, If I had money you deserve platinum.

These boys these days, I don't get it. what makes him think he can be stupid, regain his senses and lose it again.

olosi, ewure, koni da fun eleya e..
I can't stop the insults and this isn't like me.

I have been in this place before and envy you when you say you have never cried for a man.

I have cried many times so much so that I cry even when I am happy. They can be ruthless pompous goats.

I am glad you are strong, happy that you are in a good place...

Take care honey, your heart is right and love will find you.

Flirtygucci said...

LMFBAO...........mourning he's loss of senses ke?.......... now dats a c;assic yab.

u go girl!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Calabar Gal: lol… for his sake I have to mourn… I mean he might not even realize they’ve gone missing… about lifting comment moderation… I’m not quite sure yet… we’ll see

@Anonymous: Thanks angel… I really appreciate your comment. I’m not going to pretend that it’s easy for me cos we were really really good when we were and sometimes I still remember that… I remember the laughter and the great times… but when I start dwelling on that too much… I force myself to remember his last minute insensitivity… the words that came out from the man who said he loved me. When I remember that, it’s harder for me to resist and just go on doing what I’m doing… trying to heal. So far it’s going alright… I even told the Jehovah Witness that I need time to just slow down and recover… deal with issues cos I don’t want to mix two different people issues… if I’m not completely over Kimor, it’s obvious that I’ll end up with a greater mess than I started out with. I’m a little vulnerable right now so…

@Flirtygucci: lol… I didn’t know that came out as a yab… ah well… it’s better I say it here than tell him in person cos that will open up a can of worms that I’m not willing to go into… I don’t know what I’d do without this blog… I’d probably…..
keep a journal… lol…

Naija Vixen said...

babes!!!lol @ wearing black to mourn loss of his senses...glad to know u okay! ;-)

Favoured Girl said...

Awww babe, stay strong. Eventually you'll get over him completely. In the meantime, surround yourself with positivity.

Waffarian said...

Having read the days when love was sweet, this makes me sad. However, that boy was not mature enough for your love, I really do believe he is coming back to his senses, question is how long before "immaturity" rears its ugly head again?

Naijadude said...

Although I said I wont get involved with this drama, cos me love sweet things, break up aint for me **do u sense fear?*

Anyways,... that line is classic "Wearing black to mourn the loss of his senses" menh! u are mean... LOL

U knw I always love you? Why did you go to go Iraq without calling me? I bet there's no phone there either???

ChiefO said...

my one and only overwhelmed, like ay i no know u b4 i for talk say u too sugar fill talk. but all i can say is if it was b4 i metamorphosized (big big primary school oyinbo don full my mouth these days o) i'd have said and u can quote me anytime u feel like it.
"cough cough" we'll just pray for him to get paid back with his own dollar plus extra. the extra should be seen as profit and nothing else. only thing is said profit can come in any shape, form, manner, time, place, event ati be be lo.

but since i'm no more violent,
i'd suggested we light up his rassclot self with damn blowtorch, then invite boys to do a number 1-7 on him like someone suggested.


watch out for the metamorphosis of me.

laspapi said...

you've got style, Storm. No one drops Style.

nene's thots said...

overwhelmed,
i admire your courage. The first time i cried for a man was also in a similar situation and i vowed never to do that again.You would have thought i lost my mother the way i cried for days for this man.It just hurts, so i can relate. So my dear, take the time to mourn for the loss of his senses and hey! he lost because he failed to see in you a beautiful queen, a strong woman and a woman of virtue, that;s just sad. After mournin, shake him off and delete his number from your phone and memory. The best is yet to come for you. Nobody is worth stealing your joy or losing sleep over.

boorish male said...

Sweetie, dont worrry. There is something good just around the corner. Have a hug from boorish.

my thots said...

OMG, i thought i had it bad, he seems like a really insensitive guy, its funny how we dont see these things in the beginning, be strong girl, when a door closes, a window is sure to open.

Klara said...

Well Put! This is so emotional it reminded me of my last break-up, I too didnt have aplan B, & It got me totally unaware!
But u r right time does heal n it healed me too!
Let him know u moved on & u r good now!
Thanx for da hit too!

Idemili said...

Unu ahutla nu m eshishi? I just went back to read the whole thing again. Kedu nke bu 'Happy Anniversary?' Maybe he has Dissociative Personality Disorder and it was one of his many personalities that broke up with you. That's the only other explanation.

O me kata nachighata azu, gosi ya ihe ndi mmuo ji nti nkita eme! Anu mkpama!

Biodun said...

Pele dear, time heals girl, so cliche I know, but take it easy girl.

Nkechi said...

=(
lol...the guy is a blaaaahdy bumbu clat!

Vera Ezimora said...

I really dunno wat 2 say.

ChiefO said...

call him bumbum cloth and watch him get pissed. yeah make sure he hears the cloth part.


some trini lady i met analysed how dem names came about. i nearly laugh die, i've been looking for someone to call that for the right reason and fortunately for him he has been choosen.

Noni Moss said...

Loll - I'm like no he didn't! He's so not thinking he can brush it under the carpet and pretend like he didnt act like an asshole.

I like the last bit you said about his being cruel giivng you the push and what you need to get past him.

Good too that you're taking it slow with Jehovah Witness. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

what a jerk the dude won't just let you be in peace stupid jamo
weed smoking bastards!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

all is well, you just need a matter of time. Im glad you have good friends like Naijadude and co. Stay strong hun, this too shall soon pass. Have a blessed weekend.

chidi said...

lol at "i'm wearing black to mourn the loss of your senses". nice post

Anonymous said...

Linda ikeji said
after the rain comes the sun sunshine!

Naija Sapphire said...

Na wa - he can't even leave you alone although he broke up with you. I think he's beginning to regret it all. Hopefully, he never gets over it.

yankeenaijachick said...

damn, stong words girl.......longest time. hope u are doing good today. Take am easy sister mi o .

Discombobulated Diva said...

wow... can't believe he had the nerve to actually call you...

i've been MIA on commenting, but i've been reading and keeping up on your blog...

~DD

Vickii said...

I have no idea what Kimor is playing at but you're so much better off without him! I really admire the fact that you're not moved by any of his attempts to get you back.

Next Door Stranger said...

i like your attitude. wish i had your strenght.

יושה (Yosh) said...

Hahaha, loving the "PS:..." part, nice one!

It seems he cannot get to bring himself to ask you to take him back and then you two try getting back together. It's a pathetic attempt at it sha and he should stop yabbin the boys jare! :)

Uzo said...

LOL...He should let you be so u can get over him....

UnNaked Soul said...

life a burn from a candle was, it will hurts for a while, but not for long... clean the wax and be fine...

be still, and let peace be...

lets go and dance makosa jooo!

Chika said...

Thats the spirit gurl!its operation kimor must GO AND STAY AWAY!!!Hope youre ok tho.stay strong sister.

Omar Ramon said...

wait... i know ur largely pain driven in this rant but damn that was a funny rant!

LMAO

seriously tho... sorry for your troubles