Thursday, February 01, 2007

Trade By Barter

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Hey babe… how you doing?

Angela: I’m alright… what have you been up to?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Nothing much. I'm just a little tired. What are you doing tomorrow?

Angela: Nothing much… I’m just going to be busy in the morning. I have nothing else to do after

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Babygirl could you please do my hair for me tomorrow afternoon then?

Angela: um…. where?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: my house or yours… it doesn’t really matter to me

Angela: Oh so now you’re willing to come to my house just because you’re getting your hair done. You were supposed to come from last week but you didn’t…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Girl I’ve been sick as hell and you know that… migraines, flu… everything… I mean I didn’t even leave my house today cos I was feeling so so sick

Angela: Hmmm… I see

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Anyways girl can you plz?

Angela: Why so soon?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: well my hair is a mess plus I’m partying on Thursday night and remember I have a dance on Saturday. So in between then I’ll be really busy with practice

Angela: I don’t know

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Girl please please pleaseeeee

Angela: Alright… I’ll do your hair on one condition

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: What?

Angela: That you bring/buy me a pack of weave

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Honest truth, if I can afford it… I’ll get you one. but right now I’m so broke it’s not even funny. I had unexpected expenses this week so I’m pretty much scrounging for the money to buy my own weave. But if I have any money left over, I promise I’ll get you one.

Angela: Hmm

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Actually girl, when are you getting your hair done?

Angela: Why?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: cos if it’s not anytime soon, then I’ll get you some the next time I come into some money.

Angela: so you want to postpone it... then I guess we'll postpone doing your hair

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Not really… I just don’t really have money right now. Actually girl let me ask you a question… are you trying to tell me that without me giving you a pack of weave you won’t do my hair?

Angela: something like that. I mean if you think about it… it makes sense. Anytime I'm going to do your hair, just bring a pack of weave cos I’m using my time and energy. I mean if you could do hair then you could probably do mine in return… but since you can’t… then yeah… I think a pack of weave is fair.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Are you serious?

Angela: Yup… I mean my other friend charges her friends for hair

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: And she’s the person you now look up to?

Angela: Not really… but I don’t know why it seems like you’re getting mad about the whole idea

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: I’m not getting mad. It just doesn’t make sense to me. If you ever asked me for anything and I had it… I give it to you. Countless times you’ve been broke or needed money to travel to another city, I’ve never ‘lent’ you money. I just give it to you. Same with my other friends. I mean you’re my friend. I wouldn’t charge you if I could do your hair. If you asked me to give you money to buy a weave or whatever, I’d give it to you… but I don’t like the feeling that my friend is charging me everytime she does me a favour.

Angela: I don’t see why… It makes perfect sense to me. Besides how many times have I asked you to find someone to do my hair for me… and still nothing. By the way… don’t you have tons of other friends who can do your hair anyways?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: Girl it’s not that easy… it’s hard for me to tell my friends to do another friends hair for free especially when they don’t know the person. And I wouldn’t want to recommend you to someone that’s gonna charge you cos I’m guessing you already know a lot of those.

Angela: I guess I’m no longer going to be one of your favorite friends anymore.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe: it’s not really a big deal. I might be wrong or you might be wrong or there might not even be a wrong answer for this. You just told me your new stance on doing my hair and I told you my opinion of it… so it’s cool and done with. No biggie.


confusednaijagirl said...

yes first first first!!!

confusednaijagirl said...

angela wants to collect weaves for doing your hair. that sounds a little petty !!! haba ! I dont know oh but friends do hair for free because thats why you guys are friends right.

confusednaijagirl said...

sorry i meant thats what friends are for. sorry now i have 3 comments!!

Nilla said...

It's been a long time since i was

Anyways 2nd isn't so bad.

Sorry oh!

So how are you going to get your hair done now?

Bluntremi said...

ONB sweetie-
Is this girl a hairdresser/stylist professionally?? Because if she is and is trying to get into it, iot could just be that she is trying to take it to the next level, just going about it the wrong way...

Ma binu si jare...
Look at it this way, it really is cheaper to give her a pack than to pay to get your hair done...
Shebi na you go choose the hair...

Naija Sapphire said...

Oh wow! That's really scary. If you guys are really good friends, there needs to be no bargain

Nigerican said...

I'm being real honest when i say and please forgive me cus i know she's u're friend and all but "what a bitch", now that that's off my chest, u better not buy that weave 4 her,only because she made u sound like a user. Instead use that extra weave money to pay a real friend who would probably turn it down and gladly hook her girl up. I hope u get u're hair done on time babe.

azuka said...

Different perspectives...

She definitely went about it the wrong way, but then I hardly understand hair.

Gridl0ck said...

You girls and this thing about hair sha. Why dont you just go and scrape it off? LOL...

Just kidding. Hope you get your hair done, and well, too.

Vickii said...

I'm with you on this, I always try and help out friends when I can and I'd expect that they do the same for me. But I'm thinking that maybe she feels like you're only friends with her because of what she can do for you. The start of the conversation makes me think that maybe this isn't about doing your hair, maybe she has other issues with you that she's not expressing so she's focusing on this hair thing.

Hope you guys sort it out anyway!

LondonBuki said...

Yeah I agree with Vickii, I think she feels she's only a friend for hair.

BUT she went about it the wrong way.

LondonBuki said...

Oh have a nice weekend and looking forward to Mummy Sunday! :-)

Simply Gorgeous said...

This is my first time actually having the courage to write anything, I am a serious lurker..., anyway too much about me.
How close were you to Angela, before this incident? There are different degrees of friend. A friend should in most cases, be available for help when you need it, as opposed to an associate. Maybe she has other issues with you, if you are comfortable with her you can disccuss it with her. I agree some what with londonbuki. Anyway, sha update us later with the result.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@confusednaijagirl: The first prize today is a trip to see me dance on Saturday!!! Yay!!! My dear that’s exactly how I feel oh… friends should do hair for free… she’s one of my closest friends eh so it’s not like some random acquaintance that I don’t do things for all the time. But oh well… such is life!

@Nilla: I know… confused takes the prize for today… and what a prize eh?! Oh one of my close friends is gonna do my hair instead. I don’t do that trade by barter crap…

@Bluntremi: She’s never charged anybody for hair but I’m guessing she wants to use me to learn. I don’t really play that… so I’m getting my other friend to do my hair for me. I’m honestly quite broker(student life) and couldn’t possibly afford to pay for getting my hair done. I never do… don’t plan to start now because she’s changed her ‘views’. But thanks for the comment sha… I’m not trying to get mad at her cos I mean after all it is her hands she’s using to do the hair abi?

@NaijaSapphire: My dear… that’s exactly how I feel about it… I think close friends do for each other forreal… I mean this is one of my closest friends I’m talking about here eh

@Nigerican: I’m not buying any weave man… cos I swear I don’t use her. I’ve done so much for her but I don’t want to start getting into all that(petty) and I’ve never asked her for any money back. She was just coming up with stuff because she wanted to have a reason to sort of say no… but it’s all good… I’m getting another friend to do it for me tonight. I’ve never paid any of my friends to do my hair and I don’t plan to begin now… I’m a student jare and we’re all limited income but I always do anything for my friends that I can… and they will all testify to that… including her if she comes off the ‘pack of weave’ stuff. How you been doing babe? E don tey small sha!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Azuka: Exactly!!!

@Gridl0ck: lol… that’s such a male thing to say… but when I go and get the fine hair done now you will be the first one to be trying to ‘holla’… lol… no mind me jare… I have a friend who’ll do it for me… but I don spend my last life savings buying the weave sha!

@Vickii: That’s exactly what I do… and she knows that. I think the reason she probably went into all that was that she didn’t want to do it so she started recalling all sorts of stuff cos she knows I’ve been really sick recently. She’s the same Angela that has the fibroid problem… she’s one of my closest friends… so all that one whey she dey yarn na tori jare. Me I can’t stress out so I’m getting my girl to do my hair. It’s not a big deal… I just told her my opinion and that’s it… it’s like the end of a friendship or anything.

@LondonBuki: lol@friend for hair… it’s far from that but reading that conversation again… I could see what you’re saying. I think the reason she went into all that is because I was supposed to go and see her last week but I was too busy and sick to go… but I ended up going to my friends birthday sleepover on Monday. Have a great weekend yourself mami… mine’s already started rocking… went serious partying last night and it was sooo much fun. Then I have a dance on Saturday so I’m gonna be busy but living it up. I’ll probably tell y’all about it later. One mummy Sunday coming right up!

@Simply Gorgeous: Awwww… welcome gorgeous… Because it’s a first time actually writing a comment on my page… you’re definitely getting a prize. You’re also winning a trip to come and see me dance on Saturday!!! Isn’t that exciting?!?!? Angela is one of my closest friends. Yeah I already told her my opinion of the issue… but I’ll probably talk it through again… to avoid any problems… I’ll probably just get my other friends to do my hair instead. I don’t try to use anybody… and I’d definitely hate for them to feel that way.

Anonymous said...

abeg find another way to do your hair instead of asking her jare, nonsense

eyecandy said...

Hmm...i think she definitely has some issues with you. She probably thinks you use her for hair but then again if you guys are that close, she should know better.

Kpakpando said...

Trust me, this had nothing to do with weave or using. The girl is seeking for your attention on another matter. If you have the time energy and believe she's worth it, you need to go ask her who peed in her cheerios. She obviously has something else eating her and somehow blames you for that thing; so if you feel like salvaging the relationship just ask her what's up for real. That is if you consider her a good friend that's worth keeping.

Simply Gorgeous said...

Congratulations on your upcoming birthday! Give Angela some time to cool down, and try not to bring up this incident to her, as time can only heal some wounds. I hope your hair looks nice for your function. I finally got around to starting my blog
Give us an update I hope you an Angela will soon be back to normal again.

busola said...

we comment on friends all day long, expecting them to be all knowing, all kind, all good, e.t.c - forgetting they are at best, imperfectly human.

i wouldnt expect my friend to do my hair for free - its just not fair to her time and energy. as you grow - you'd learn to expect NOTHING and instead appreciate almost anything given out of kindness.

if you cannot stand the fact that she wants to charge for hair, then pay for your own hair! but in the meantime, don't hold it against angela - she was probably just trying to tell u that her hair needed to get done too and she has no one to do it for free. afterall, no girl wants to hook all her friends up with the perfect do and look busted 'cos no one can do hers - unless she's some sort of a saint - which not even you are.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Anonymous: I already have my dear

@Eyecandy: I’ll call her up tonight and see if she has any issues. I don’t really think so though… but you never know right. We are pretty close. I’ve known her for almost 2 years and I can count on one hand the number of times she’s done my hair so it’s obviously not a ‘for hair only’ friendship.

@Kpakpando: lol… I just realized your name means star in Igbo… very original… I like that! Yeah… I’ll call her tonight and see wassup jare. Our friendship isn’t over over a little hair issue… I just told her my opinion of a situation and it’s cool and done with. If she’s gonna charge me a pack of weave for me to get my hair done… I won’t ask her to do it anymore. End of story. And life goes on… including our friendship

@Simply Gorgeous: Thanks mami. I hope my hair looks great too… I think it will even though I paid an arm and a leg for the weave. I’m going to stalk your blog now now now… lol.

@ Busola: “if you cannot stand the fact that she wants to charge for hair, then pay for your own hair!” woah woah woah… slow your roll mami. how does that even make sense??? You seem really angry based on just a post. If you don’t expect your friend to do your hair for free… that’s cool and whatever relationship you work out with your own friends is cool. I’m on a different wavelength and we’ll just leave it at that. I believe friends do for each other. I’m not gonna go on here detailing everything that I’ve ever done for every friend Angela included. But everybody who knows me in real life can testify to the fact that I’m a lot of things… but stingy isn’t one of them. I’ve never denied a friend anything that was/ is mine to give… but I don’t want to be busting my nuts everytime I gotta do my hair cos everyone knows the life of a student… you have a bit of pocket change today and tomorrow you don’t. So to everybody his/her own… END OF STORY! “no girl wants to hook all her friends up with the perfect do and look busted 'cos no one can do hers - unless she's some sort of a saint - which not even you are.”… lol… all this ‘commenting’ isn’t just about the hair issue I wrote about is it? Lmao… I see you

busola said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
busola said...

overwhelmed - i was very far from angry when i commented - infact, i was actually very happy to read something interesting and since i know you enjoy honest feedback, i gave just that. i guess i got carried away - i'm sorry it hurt your feelings.

laspapi said...

your dialogue with Angela(?) was controlled which is a v.good thing. My girl has a calm side. You've shown the truth of the adage, "Sometimes it takes more courage not to react than to react."

I can't tell why she asked for something in return but you'll show how gracious you are when you sort the incident without bad blood. I'm preaching, but I love "the Storm".

Thoughts said...

Um..but I disagree.A friend is a friend and depending on the kind of friendship you have, I really don't think you should have to give your friend a weave in order to get your hair done.If at all you give her, it should because you want to.

Nigerican said...

@ONB reply- good girl.I know its been a minute but i updated my blog now oh.

londonnaijachic said...

How can she ask for somehing in return when she's never done it before? Thats a bit funny to me but i like the way you handled it.You didn't come across as being upset instead u acted maturedly.
Dont mind her jare.Happy birthday in advance and don't forget my slice of your cake

chioma said...

yeah maybe she feels you may be taking advantage of her..and is trying to show she won't take it. She is definetly going about it the wrong way.
I mean if you can afford to buy a good friend a wevaed cool..but it shoudn't be a trade by barter. If she collects money to do hair then there is nothing wrong with asking you for money, but if not haba. Don't be upset with her about it, just let her know you ain't a friend for free hair and if you can get someone else to do your hair this time.

chioma said...

sha don't be angry with her cus I am sure she is a lovely friend..and just to show how large hearted you are just buy her a weave one day and drop it off for her no strings attached.Hope you have a great birthday!