Sunday, February 04, 2007

Mummy Sunday 10

Inspired by one of my favorite bloggers LondonBuki, this is my tenth Mummy Sunday post!!! This one is going to have a slightly different format than the past 9 Mummy Sundays. For the next few weeks, I’ll write a series of open letters to my Mummy telling her how things were when she wasn’t there. I might interrupt the series if I have anything else of importance to say about my mommy, but other than that… for the next few weeks… it’s going to be the “When You Weren’t There” part of my Mummy Sunday Posts. The details of my story might not be told in chronological order… but each entry should make sense in and of itself. The first installment is titled:

The Day You Left

Dear Mummy,

I was about 7 years old. You came home with about 3 police officers and my dad and everyone went into your room. You came out crying. You hugged me and my 5 year old younger sister Fire. You told us to be good and that you’d be back. We waited and waited. I didn’t eat that night cos somehow I knew something was different.

You didn’t come back!!!

I woke up in the morning and for the first time in my life, you weren’t there. I couldn’t make sense of it cos my dad was home. I don’t remember if I asked him where you were and what he told me.

But I do remember that even then, I was terribly scared of him. I really couldn’t believe you’d left us with him now especially when you knew how we really felt about him. We’d grown up with you, you’d lived for us, you’d loved us… and you left us with HIM!!!

I cried for a long time. But sometimes I had to be strong for Fire cos I felt I was all she had at the time... she didn't like my dad either.

He frowned a lot and came back from work late.He made us study all the time and warned us never to go downstairs and play with anybod y.

We were supposed to just spend time with Nonso the househelp. She was nice enough but I never really felt completely at ease with her.

He installed a ‘prison bar gate’ right behind our door and every window in the house. He bolted the two padlocks on the door every morning before he went to court.

I felt like an animal in a zoo… caged, repressed and subdued.

There was no ‘in or out’

Days passed, then weeks… then months and we got used to it.

The four walls of the apartment became our world.

We dreamt big dreams and created fairytales in those four walls.

We cried a little less every day… until you became just a strong memory.

Then you came by that afternoon

And our worlds were turned upside down

We felt hope… there was a way out… you loved us… you’d get us out

We felt that hope when you stretched your hands out to us from behind those ‘home prison bars’ and cried till your voice was hoarse

We cried with you… they were tears of sadness, tears of happiness… tears of hope

But you couldn’t bring us out!

There was the prison bars to contend with… but even worse…

He’d destroyed all our documents cos he didn’t want us to have ‘an out’

You’d actually only come to get a few important things so you could go away and try to build a life for us and come and take us later

What Heartbreak… I’d never cried so much and probably never will again.

We ripped the mosquito net that covered the ‘kitchen prison bars’ and passed you some of your clothes and important items.

The househelp Nonso took a lot of your clothes and Jewelry… and for the first time I kept information to myself.

I saw her doing it and said nothing because I knew that my new life didn’t involve you anymore and that you couldn’t do much from behind a ‘prison bar’.(The first of the many situations that I'd "do the diplomatic thing").

I begged you to stay even though I knew it was useless… Fire cried so much I thought she was going to die… but there wasn’t much you could do about it.

I felt more sorry for you than I did for myself… cos I saw the love in your eyes… the sacrifice… I knew that your life had to be in jeopardy to have left us… I knew this even at 7.

There were times when I blamed you… but then my memories would come back of when you used your body to shield us from the cold… when you protected us from the punks that used to scare us at the park in Lewisham and I couldn’t really blame you.

It was positively the worst day of my young life… the day you left!

35 comments:

Nigerican said...

YES,I'm first.Ok now that i'm calm again i'll go back and read u're post ,was just toooo excited about being first(i know i'm jobless)

Nigerican said...

Oh my gosh , that was so sad. I really can't imagine being without my mom.Bet it made u and Fire strong young ladies.Glad u have u're mom back in u're life again.Hug u're mom for me (can't even imagine how she must have felt being separeted from her childern).

chidi said...

glad u hve ur mom bac

http://fya-dancer.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

i'm in tears.my dad destroyed my mom's university degree after he drove her away. he didn't want her,he didn't want us...yet he was soo vindictive that he tried to destroy documents that would help us get along.thankfully she graduated from an american university and acquired another degree.
OWNB ...a lot of our experiences are so similar that it's eerie.
Like we live in a parallel universe.
On a parting n ote...life does get better if you let it.As little children we were helpless.We've grown now so we have more power.Our pasts suck but our futures will continue to get brighter. I love you

Simply Gorgeous said...

This is so heartbreaking...
I am going nto get my box of tissue. What was the reason why your mom left?

Your Dad was not fair to you and Fire for being so heartless.

I know it hurts still because it is so frsh in your mind as if it was yesterday...

I hope you and your Mom have a better relationship now.

temmy tayo said...

You just need to thank God that you are back withyour mum.

Things will surely get better.

azuka said...

When two people separate, it's always the children who suffer the most. Thanks for sharing.

Naijadude said...

Wow! sweetie, that was intense, but your mum still had the power to prosper....
You know you are a fighter, just ride on and keep being you!!

mimi said...

oor, sorry sweedy, that's quite deep

londonnaijachic said...

Seperation from your children can't be easy.Your mum is strong and thank God you all are together and no dad can seperate you this time.Just makes you appreciate the togetherness of your family and how each moment u spend together is special

Naija Vixen said...

Men that was so sad...but atleast u'v become stronger and dont hold any resentment for ur mum cos u realised that she had only luv for u...that was wow men!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

I dont understand why some fathers feel the need to tear children away from their mum, thinking that by doing it, the children will love them more and they will have more control than before. But they don't realise that that bond between mother and children can never be broken. I thnak God for your mum, and How He was able to sstain her and help her, to be reunited with her children after a long length of time.

laspapi said...

Storm,
I feel anything I say here will be trivial in relation to that kind of experience.

Pele, Storm... I salute your mother, your sister and you.

mimi said...

babe, pls check my blog, jus a li'l sumfin

Bluntremi said...

I can relate to this and my heart goes out to you...

I am happy things are great with your mom now...some people lose their mom and do dot have the chance to even try and have a relationship...

Hug your mom and Fire and enjoy your time together.

Favoured Girl said...

Wow this is deep. As much as she got on my nerves, I can't imagine being torn apart from my mum when I was growing up. It must have been really hard for your mum and for you and your sister. I'm glad that it's made you stronger and you and your mum now have a good relationship. Stay blessed dear.

Nilla said...

I'm lost for words.
I'm glad you've got your mom now.

Have a wonderful week Missy!

chainreader said...

This is sooo sad. It couldn't have been easy for you. And at seven years too!

Destroying your documents so you couldn't leave? That was harsh!

Thank God it was only for a while, and that you finally got back with your mum.

Have a beautiful week, love!

Biodun said...

Wow, cant imagine wot that might have felt like n to live in that state for even a day sounds scary. I am glad things changed for the better. Beautiful write-up as usual!

omohemi Benson said...

I'm short of words to say.
Powerful post.
Thank God,you all survived it.
You are amazing strong women.

Nyemoni said...

For the first time, ONB has brought tears to my eyes... Honestly, I could visualize what you and 'fire' went through... The diary of an angry Nigerian man.. I can not imagine the pain your mother must have gone through in those months...
Phew! I thank God for getting you guys out of that situation and I know that you and 'fire' are stonger for it.. You guys will always be fighters. Thank you for sharing... Now, I can better understand a little of who you are and where you're from.. God bless..

exschoolnerd said...

i was moved by this..i can't even begin to imagine how things must have been for the both of you.

But in the end u were re-united with ur mum and am glad about that.take heart sweets.

Queen Ebong said...

I had a similar experience. Though it was difficult, we still survived it.

Its all part of life
Thank God my mum is/was a strong woman.

Bitchy said...

Wow... that's so sad ONB. To think you were only 7? Everything seems to have worked out for the best... thank God.

P.S. To join The Afro Beat, you simply send an email to theafrobeat@gmail.com.

See you on that side soon hopefully ;-)

zaiprincesa said...

ur words never fail to move me, ur story, so heartbreaking. Dont ever question why it happened. It did and u r where u r today. U survived.Ur mom as well....and thats all that matters.

Jaycee said...

Trying to restrain from crying...

ONB, some things we go through are to make us the strong people we are today. Glad u have ur mum back now...

~Cheers to a lovely week ahead~

Kpakpando said...

Nne, why can I completely relate? I remember when my mom was gone for the better part of a year, and basically came to steal us back when we relocated to the US. I really hated her the first week she came back. One of my biggest regrets is speaking to her through Fidelia, our housemaid. She would cry, and in my little 10yr old mind I was happy she was learning her lesson; next time she would know better than to leave us. Never mind the countless times I woke up and saw attempting to clean the blood from the carpet with a bloody face, or the time Papa had to came from the village to stay with us, and the nightly meetings he would hold with both of my parents.
Your comment section is not enough for the memories I have, that I'm sure you also can relate to. It's not that I hate my father, it's just that I can't respect things he did.

Daddy's Girl said...

Wow, you have been through so much, ONB. Thank God for keeping you and your sis going.

BGTLIVE said...

I dont cry for no damn person...doesnt happen, but today, i read your post and my heart bleeds. I am sorry you had to go through that. I am really sorry. Things are okay now, your mom will always be there with you. You wont loose her again in that manner.

You are so strong. God will continue to be with you.

TaureanMinx said...

That must have been hard. I have an aunt whose husband kicked her out and locked up the kids from her and the rest of our family. She finally got a job in Saudi and each time she came home she would go to the gate and talk to them through it and pass all the stuff she bought to the househelp through the gate. Who gives anyone the right to do that?

LondonBuki said...

You have been through a lot so has your sister and so has your Mummy... thank God you are all together now.

x

LondonBuki said...

It's 10 minutes to your Birthday in England - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

bibi said...

happy birthday onb....wish u more yrs to come!!!1 its wed afternoon here...

Desola said...

Oh my! If I wasn't at work, I would have let it all out. I would have cried. This is so sad, so, so sad and I actually put myself in your shoes. I almost felt how you must have felt. I felt sorry for you and your sister all along. I could feel your mum's pain.

Overwhelmed! You should write a book!

chioma said...

Thank gos she had the strength to make something of herself and know you guys are all together again.MY friends mum had to actually kidnapp them from their school!
Its amazing what human beings go through at the hands of people who are supposed to love them. I know that God will help you guys make up for all the years your darling mum wasn't there I am glad you know it wasnt because she didnt care.