Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Second Time’s The Charm?

Two summers ago, I met Kofi at a Ghanaian picnic. The picnic was amazing fun… good food, good people, good music. Half an hour before I left, an old friend Kudjoe came up and said hi. Actually, Kudjoe’s not really a friend… he’s more a guy who liked me in the past that I was never interested in. Anyways, Kudjoe introduced us and we hit it off. Apparently Kofi had been trying to ‘meet’ me the entire day but I’d been too busy having fun.


We talked for a bit… his statistics were looking good… 6ft 3, almost cute, medium build, 23, in university… I told him to get my number from his friend (I had to make sure it was alright with Kudjoe… he did like me in the past after all). But Kudjoe said to give him my number… so I did.


Kofi was pretty nice. I mean he did stutter a little and talk through his nose sometimes… but who am I to judge someone with a little speech impediment. It wasn’t like he spoke only vowels.


We went on a couple of dates in the first 2-3 months. Looking back now though, none of these dates were particularly memorable… just a pleasant passing of time with a somewhat pleasant guy. One thing my best friend did have a problem with at the time was the fact that he was usually only available in the evenings/night. I reasoned it was alright… he was in school and had a part-time job.


Actually there was one memorable date come to think of it… The night we went and made out in my old high school and drove around naked. See every once in a while I get a little crazy and do something a little wild… that was definitely one of those days… lol. I also remember that his fingers were quite long and fidgety… not quite a turn-on. Things with him were somewhat mechanical… just a little ‘textbook’. Basically up till that point… we were just having a lot of ‘surface orgasms’ (don’t even pretend you don’t know what those are… lol). He asked me to be his girlfriend a few times but I always gave very vague responses.


A month or so after, I decided I wasn’t really that interested in him and didn’t want to continue. I mean he was alright but I just wasn’t “catching feelings” for him. It was obvious he liked me… but I wasn’t quite there so I talked to him less and less. Then my mom disconnected my phone for about 6 weeks. The day she reconnected it, Kofi called me. I was so surprised… apparently homeboy had been trying my line every other day just to see if I’d reconnect my phone… that’s dedication right? I mean how do you say thank you to someone for that sort of thing?


Fuck him?!

Lol… not really… well at least not like that!!


With my phone back on, we sort of started talking again. Another month into it, we decided to give it another go. I’d been a little sick and didn’t want to go out so he said he’d just drop by and check on me for an hour or two. He brought some stuff over… I think some food, wine, ice cream, chocolate… things like that.


We ate and just chilled… and I think danced a little… Kofi had two left feet but he looked a little cute shuffling them around. Thank God he kissed better than he danced!


We were making out for a little while… I knew exactly the moment the mood changed. I realized this time he actually wanted to have sex with me. You know that moment when you think to yourself “I could let this happen… or I could stop it right now”. The thing was the only actual sex I’d ever had before Kofi was with my first which turned out horribly (lol…I believe everybody and their mama’s knows about the ‘rag doll’ experience at this point). I’d had opportunities since then but I didn’t really want to. I was about to stop him when it occurred to me that I might have a problem if I kept up with it… I mean I could end up rejecting every guy… never having sex ever again... being scarred and in the past my entire life.


I decided to go through with it… I guess I did it to prove to myself that I could.


I think we did the missionary… it hurt like Hell!!! But for every 10 seconds of pain… there was 1 second of sweet joy.


He came. I hadn’t.


I initiated the second round. I tried to ride him… searing pain brought me down from my high horse… lol. We reverted to the missionary… it was a bit better than the first one… but still not the ‘amazing grace’ everybody’d been singing about… I mean it was good… but I remembered a certain sense of disappointment… this was IT?!?!


One thing I do remember quite distinctly is this feeling that he didn’t believe he was the second guy I ever had sex with. I had told him this a time or two… I mean he never argued… but you know that look a guy gives you like sure buddy… at 19… I’m your second indeed!


Everytime he’d call me after that, he was always trying to initiate some sex talk… imaginary sex… or discuss the one we’d already had. I mean I’d grown to sort of like the dude… I did share my body with him after all… but I really would rather not extol the virtues of doggystyle on the phone with him… at least not yet!


I started avoiding his calls for that… coupled with the fact that he was a bit hot and cold. He’d call me telling me how much he missed me and wanted to see me during the week. Then he wouldn’t call to actually make the plans. After a while, I just couldn’t be bothered. I wasn’t “frigid” and that made me happier than I could ever explain… everything else could be sold to a Saudi Arabian Shepherd.


We talked less and less… the one day he told me he missed me terribly and wanted to salvage something out of what we had cos we were good together. We agreed that he’d come pick me up in the evening. Unfortunately that day, I’d gone downtown and was running late, so I told him to come pick me up from downtown and we could go out from there or he could drive me home to go change. Kofi told me that there was traffic and he was feeling lazy… so I was to find my way home and call him when I got home so he’d come pick me up.


That was the end of it for me


I mean we still see each other sometimes and I don’t mind replying his hi’s and bye’s cos he was a pretty nice guy… and I owe him a thank you for helping me prove to myself that I wasn’t completely frozen inside. That being said… I obviously have no interest in hooking up anymore or giving him my number. My earlier postConversations With An Exspeaks for itself.

17 comments:

bitchy said...

Oooh I'm first!! Yaaay!!

Rather confused... just like that? I thought you were going to go on to say he was a closet druggie... or that he wanted to make porno movies, or somethin scandalous!

And also... am I mixing things up or aren't you totally in lurrrve with your current boyfriend?

Ms zee said...

awwwwwwww.. you beat me to it!!!!!

ok OWB I want a prize for being second...

@ bitchy - she is head sprung with her current boyfriend, she was only letting us in on her ex whom she saw not to long ago at a party or something...

warramin, I have turned to madame Kofo oo!!!! LOL

bitchy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bitchy said...

Oooh just read yesterday's post. I get it now... I hate that "now you're no longer available, I want you" thing that some guys do. Its like... where were you when I was eating ice cream on Friday nights and jumping around to the Pussy Cat Dolls?!

Naija Sapphire said...

I want a prize for being third. So that's the story with him huh? Seems like you never really liked him but you had a test run with him.

Almost cute? that was funny.

By the way, you should do the meme by unnaked soul. Scares the crap outta me

londonnaijachic said...

Hmmm! I get where you're coming from now. This has helped understand things a bit better(concerning yesterday's post). I hate when people blow hot and cold that is one trait i can't tolerate in anyone.He also didn't have rhythm, what a shame there is nothing more attractive than a man who knows how to boogie on the dance floor.

exschoolnerd said...

same thing londonchic said...people who cant make up their friggin mind..annoy me..u seem to have blogorrhea like me..every time i come here there's a new post...it's good sha...keeping we amebo's entertained.I'll start my friendship thingie in my next entry...

Vera Ezimora said...

Poor Koffi. What was he thinking getting involved with an onye ala like you? LOL.

Send him my condolences biko.

Vickii said...

I think it's great that you're able to make a clean break from your exes ... they're exes for a reason right? I've only have one 'proper' ex and even though we're cool, we don't talk very often because he always wants to get back together ... three years on!

Almost cute ... that's funny!

Thoughts said...

Babes, not to sound judgemental or nothing, but u had to sleep with a guy right of the bat to disprove your frigidity?
U're one helluva girl.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@bitchy: Whao… this is your first time being first… so there’s a special prize…. Ice skating in Nathan Philips Square with piping hot cappuccinos and butter croissants!!! Oh crap I forgot.. you’re not in Canada so you’ll have to make do with the cappuccino and croissants…. Lol.

@Ms. Zee: Abeg… don’t come here with your ojoro ms. Zee… since when did second start getting prizes in blogsville? But no problem sha because you’re my new cybersis… I’ll give you a timbit… lol. Madame Kofo indeed… and abeg mami me I didn’t say I was headsprung oh… I just like the dude(grinning from ear to ear like a chesire cat)

@Naijasapphire: which one be this one now… bronze medalists don’t count… but since I’m being extra generous today… a presidential handshake for you from Overwhelmed Naija babe… lol(I have a feeling you’re not gonna cherish this gift). I did like him… not as much as I could… but I don’t know… it was one of those things… it’s almost like I used him to prove something to myself… I’m doing Unnaked’s Tag right now… I can’t wait to see what he’ll say about it/me

@Londonnaijachic: My dear the hot and cold just ain’t for me… lol… see me I’m like a professional Makossa dancer and for some strange reason I always find myself dating guys with no rhythm to speak of… I guess I make up for them with mine…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@exschoolnerd: lol…. I like that word blogorrhea… I think that’s exactly what I have… I keep writing and writing… e dey like say I don dey overwhelm una with gist sha… I’m going on your blog right now self to do some evening amebo

@Vera Ezimora: abeg oh Vera don’t even start here… he was damn lucky to be dating somebody like me who can read the alphabet from back to front… educative, implosive, explosive, elevated and executive romance that’s what I gave him!

@Vickii: lol… some of them never really give up do they? lol@ almost cute… my friends tell me I have terrible descriptions for people… apparently ‘inbetween-ugly-and-cute’ is not a proper description either… lol…

@Thoughts: I didn’t sleep with the guy off the bat… I’d been talking to him for at least 5 months before I ever had sex with him… it’s too long a story to get into but if you ever read about my past experiences you’d realize… I found it a blessing that I could ever ever have sex again… and I think 5 months time enough to ‘get-to-know-someone’ if you wanted to take any further step… don’t you?

stacy jones said...

I sure hope the religious police don't come out today Overwhelmed.

Good Post

UnNaked Soul said...

@bitchy: LMAO!!! is that wat babes do? shei! and y'all will be hiding behind the facade of "am doing just fine".. LOL

@everybody-asking-for-a-prize: the ultimate prize is me! well, em... if ms zee pleases...

@ONB: heard of mixed feelings? have you ever wondered if he was only mirroring your own internal thought process through action? you never exactly "like" him... You strike me as someone who secures her freedom and will not like to compromise it for the wrong reasons - reasons you're not comfortable with that is...

all that yan... na wa oh... come to think of it, I never went to school... where did all this come from? oh I remember... I once took a peek into enternity and it fuck'd and funk'd me at the same time... lol

@SJ: the religious police are controlling traffic at hell's gate... LOL

Naija Vixen said...

i will neva b able to look at a ragdoll innocently again;-)luvvly post ONB!!!

uzo said...

The same old unavailable so now i dig u thing. Really more common than we think

jadedKiss said...

hey babe!!!!
jus popping in and out as is now usual
xxx

oh wow, i have gist oh. but i can't blog!!!!!!!!!!!!
soon, soon....