Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Part 2: Angry

The boyfriend calls me his birthday gift cos he met the day after his birthday in May. I met him on my way to a job interview or something of the sort. I met him on the bus. I never give guys I meet on the bus my number cos I don’t date guys who don’t drive. However, he managed to make me laugh on that 20 minute bus ride. I gave him my number for thrills… but it ended up being more. I remember our first date. He wanted me to meet him somewhere for dinner and a movie… I had to get my friend to drop me off there and have him pay for my cab back home. We did that for almost two months. None of my friends ever thought I’d date him cos he did not have a car and I’m a girl who loves to go places. There was just this light in his eyes that I wanted to explore… I couldn’t let him go. I said I’d be his girl. My best friend never met him before cos he did not drive and obviously could not go pick her up and take us out for dinner or something as was the norm. She was still the ‘me-that-I-used-to-be’ and would obviously not take the bus to see anyone or do anything. But regardless, she was my best friend and would be happy for me right?

Maybe… Maybe not

Meanwhile my best friend has been in a serious relationship for almost 2 years. They’re probably getting married in the next year or two. Anyways during the summer, she got into a terrible fight with her boyfriend, and wanted me to come and pick her up so she could stay with me for a while. I made my boyfriend drive me there and we packed up all her stuff and brought it and her to my house. I made him leave that night cos she was crying up a storm and I had to be there for her. She stayed with me for about three weeks… a slightly weird 3 weeks. She was going through a lot of stuff emotionally and for some strange reason I felt that talking to or being with my boyfriend took away from me being able to help her. I talked to him less and we started having a little tension in our relationship. She was never particularly interested in him or my relationship but I thought I understood… I mean she was going through so much at the time. But after a while I realized it was much more than that… the simple truth was that she didn’t like him simply because she didn’t see him before I agreed to date him. She had too many explanations. Apparently I was changing. I gave him something to eat when he came over to visit me (I was catering to him), I fucked him after an argument (I was making him think he could get away with anything), I was dating him even though he didn’t drive (I had changed). I tried to talk it over with her… I wanted her to know that I liked this guy a lot and that’s the reason I chose to do things a differently, but she didn’t really care much.

She reconciled with her boyfriend about three weeks later and moved back in with him: Things changed between us. Anytime I’d start talking about my boyfriend she’d tune out or change the topic… she simply did not care to hear about him. So I stopped telling her anything about him… even if he was at my house at the time I just didn’t mention it. If I was going to see a movie with him the next day, I never said a thing. The time I thought I was pregnant, I never told her. This was my best friend.

It happened for a few months and we just became different. I used to talk to her for hours every day… sometimes twice, thrice a day. It dwindled down to once every two days… then once a week. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I tried to talk to her about it but she couldn’t be bothered. I was the one who had changed because I was dating my boyfriend. I told her that if she loved me, then she’d care about whoever I cared about regardless of if she’d approved of him before we dated or not. I hadn’t liked some of her boyfriends in the past but I’d never tuned her out whenever she talked about them, I hadn’t tried to make her feel like her relationship with them determined mine with her. I listened to her, I cared for her… I loved her!

About two months ago we were talking on the phone and my best friend asked me:

“Overwhelmed, how is your boyfriend… what’s that his name again?”

My own best friend… almost 5 years of friendship, a guy that I’d been with for over 6 months, and she was asking me what his name was again.

That cut like a knife.

I tried to talk to her again… cos we had to make things right… we’d been best friends for too long… we couldn’t just let it go like that… but she was almost nonchalant.

We talked when we talked.

Then she called me the week before her boyfriends birthday… she was having a surprise get-together for him and wanted me to come.

I went and for one night we danced and laughed and ate and we were as we used to be.


The next weekend was her 21st birthday and I decided to throw her a surprise birthday party. I even put a post up here on my blog asking for suggestions cos I wanted it to be fantastic… I wanted it to be fun… I wanted her to love it… I just wanted us to go back to the way we were.

I never said how the party went cos it was terribly difficult for me to process, so hard for me to believe what she said… what she did.

(To be Continued... sorry the story is longer than I thought but it's gonna end in Part 3... I promise)

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yay I'm first!!!

Going back to read read it now :-)

Anonymous said...

We have to wait for part 3 :-(

Well I think what's shocking to me the most is the fact that she didn't remember your boyfriends name (and she's supposed to be your best friend)....
Not all my friends(even the ones that I'm not so close to) like my boyfriend but they know his name.

Still waiting for the conclusion of this story.....

Anonymous said...

can't leave us hanging like that... what happened??? what happened???

seriously though, friends do grow apart, its part of life... hope everything works out sha...

~DD

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Nilla: lol…. I’ve become even more generous this new year so I’m giving you a free trip to the grocery store($33 worth of apples and oranges on me!!!)..lol… babe you don’t understand how much it hurt that she didn’t remember his name… I mean how much don’t you care like seriously? All my other friends know even ones that I’m not close to… lol… no problem the next part is gonna be the last… it was a long story and I was lazy to finish it before jare… how’s your week going luv?

@Discombobulated Diva: lol… tune in for part 3… I guess it might be growing apart but it doesn’t seem like that to me… I guess what do I know? I don’t even know if things could work out… I guess it’s live and learn… we’ll see how things go sha… but it’s a very painful time for me… crap!!!

Vera Ezimora said...

Baby, I haven't read the first part, so I'm a lil confused. Are we talkin about Naijadyme or someone else? Maybe when I read chapter 1, I will understand. I don't wanna say anything right now, but I will come back 2 comment afta readin chapter 1.

Vera Ezimora said...

Alright dear, hurry up and update

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Vera Ezimora: No it’s not Naijadyme… it’s another best friend. I knew her a little before Naijadyme but I was just as close to her. It really sucks ass babe you have no clue! It hurts even more than when you took my Bloke from me!!!

Anonymous said...

Alright, I suggest that you conclude the gist then wecan share in your pain. Anyways, take a deep breath and take things easy on yourself dearie.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@temmytayo: I’ll try and write it up by tonight or tomorrow… things should be alright.. I think… lol… does that deep breath thing ever really work?!lol

chainreader said...

ouch! this is so painful! friends and the hurt they can cause us! chei! i really should wait for the end of this tale before i jump to conclusions, but am tempted to say...............




of course you have to wait for MY update! i know how to use the suspense button too!

but on a serious note, i know this hurts. and even though it kills me to say this, update at your own pace. we'll wait till you are ready.

did i just feel someone throw a stone at my head?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@chainreader: babe you’re just too funny for your own good… this your own suspense na supernatural one oh! Lmao… reading this comment just cheered me up.. lol… Hope you’re having a great week… I’ll finish up the story tonight or by tomorrow… I dey hung self… make I go see whether my jollof rice remain self!

Anonymous said...

how far na! Finish up the story already! Its a lie she didnt forget his name she was just being a ...
Part 3 better be here tomorrow o. I'm not going to lie i really wanna know what went down at her party...

I'll be back tomorrow

Anonymous said...

i'v felt this kinda hurt before and its not pretty. but sweetie, what will be will be. its jus really weird cuz she's acting like she doesn't care about you anymore, and it doesn't add up. maybe someone's been telling her stuff about u thats not tru, or maybe your priorities have changed,ie dating guys who drive, and so you HAVE changed.. and also, maybe she's hurt that u excluded her from the courting process with him-esp since this seems to be ur most serious relationship- and so she's lashing out.
Remember that wen people'r hurt is when they'r most vulnerable and ideas can stick that aren't necessarily the right ones... ...
Men u owe me for all this shrinking!
and, by the way,
PART THREE!
PART THREE!!
PART THREE!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@SapphireAster: lol… I go finish am by tomorrow for sure… I promise!(if I no fulfil… then I owe you…. A trip to the movies to go see Pursuit of Happyness… lol). I don’t even know what to believe about her not knowing his name… I mean how else do you show me how much you don’t care about him than that? Yeah… I found it hard to talk about that surprise party cos there was a lot of background information that I’d need to give in order to be honest about that incident… cos the only other option would be to come on here and lie and say everything went great(then it wouldn’t be my blog anymore would it? It’d be a watered-down version of my real thoughts… in which case… why bother right?)Anyways… how were your holidays babe? I missed you oh… I dey await my Christmas gift oh… no think say I don forget oh!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@JadedKiss: My dear no be small oh… that’s exactly what I’m thinking… I mean I’m not sure if we’ve both changed or if she was always this way and I never noticed or just ignored it. I don’t want to discredit her cos I know there’s been times when she was there for me and vice versa…. But maybe we’re just at a different stage in our lives or something. But it sucks cos it seems like there’s nothing left to salvage anymore.. I mean I kept trying to talk to her… to fix it.. but she was so nonchalant. I don’t think anyone’s been telling her anything about me… that’s not what’s at the root of this… and I wouldn’t say I excluded her from the courting process cos she knew everything that happened with him from the first stage… the only thing was that she didn’t meet him before I started dating him… and at the time I obviously didn’t know he would be my most serious relationship and neither did she. I don’t really what to do anymore… and I don’t even know if I can be bothered with trying… cos I have… I guess the main key is to think everything through and hopefully see anything that I might’ve missed and come up with a final conclusion about the whole situation. Lmao… how much you dey charge family for shrinking… I expect 67% discount!!! Part 3 coming right up with a serving of Shrimp and a strawberry Margarita… how’s that for a great dinner?!

azuka said...

Wow, what a touching story. You have a talent for leaving us gasping at the end for more.

Oya, continue. This Overwhelmed sef. Don't 'mise' the gist...

Anonymous said...

mennn....this one is SUSPENSE o...u left us hanging, waiting anxiously for part III to come out!

Anonymous said...

u don't date guys that don't drive...that's some classic lagos moves lol. I want to say I don't care about car or no car...but a car is always nice meen.

Sorry about your friend though. It looks like its deeper than you just not telling her about the boyfriend, at least I want to hope so cus if that's the problem then thats pretty serious oh.

So long as you know u've tried ur best though, sometimes no matter how much history you guys have, when its time to roll, its time to roll

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Azuka: lol… I’m not missing… I go finish the gist soon.. but abeg don’t even start abeg.. me and you who dey mise gist pass ehn?!?!

@Jaycee: lol… E dey come soon… no worry!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Abbey: That’s exactly what I keep saying… that this can’t be the simple problem but there’s been nothing else… and I just know that’s the root of every problem or non-communication and it sucks ass… lol@ the not dating a guy who doesn’t drive… my dear I no go front jare… I go places and I need a boyfriend who can take me those places… but yeah I liked this dude enough to ‘take the bus’… lol. I have tried my best… and hopefully after writing this I’ll figure out exactly what to do… cos this just might be the ending or a new beginning(I highly doubt that though) Happy New year though babe

reen said...

omg part 3...we gotta wait!
wow didnt know this was about sunshine....hope its not seriously serious, hope things work out.
As for ur present am mailing it ASAP lol

Ps:dont be angry,take it easy oo =)

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@reen: lol… yeah it’s about sunshine(babe you get seriously better memory)… it is seriously serious and I really don’t know what direction things are going to go. I can’t wait for my present oh… I just dey wait by my mailbox.. lol.. hope its really good!!! I’m trying not be angry but I won’t say I’m really succeeding but since I started writing about it… it’s getting better I will admit! And Anita Baker is a bit part of it.. her voice and music is such a balm for the soul!!!

Anonymous said...

first of all...i've been reading ur blog 4 a while... and ur boy- friend sounds so romantic... i never would have guess he didn't drive... for me its a turn off/wouldn't work... even tho am young... don't work... don't drive... and broke...i know am triflin...anyway ur girlfriends
aint acting right... its seem like a combo of his stats or the fact that u didn't follow old traditions

Anonymous said...

Part 3-- part 3!!

dang girl.. you've got us waiting in suspense!

laspapi said...

I do some theatre, love, and I write scripts too. Your friend not 'remembering' the boyfriend's name was a pre-planned script meant to have maximum impact. And it worked. See how it hurt you. Don't sweat the small stuff, overwhelmed.

ps. I'll be your armchair psychologist.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Anonymous: lol… I feel you on the not-driving thing… I don’t either so it’s a big hassle but I felt he was worth the chance… plus most of my friends wouldn’t let me say no either… they’re like in love with him or something… lol. I don’t even know what she’s about anymore… but thanks for reading my blog… I really appreciate it.

@Belle: lol… part 3 coming right up… I should be a Harlequin Intrigue writer(with a Nigerian spin…. Lol)

@laspapi: It did have maximum impact… Oh I’d absolutely love you to be my armchair psychologist… it doesn’t pay much but you’ll see your name in lights… I promise!!!

Anonymous said...

Love, could it be she is slightly jealous because you have taken your "together" time away by being with your man?? Could it be that she is somewhat dominant in your relationship which could be difficult. In my opinion, you defied the norm by not going by your own rules in chosing a mate "I dont date guys without cars"......

I cant go on if I dont know the rest of the srory, I think this goes even deeper....

Biodun said...

Pls o, I am waiting for part three, this cliffhanger stuff is not funny atall, lol I will be back!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@zee: I think you might be right… she was probably more dominant in our relationship and is finding it somewhat hard that I am not ‘completely there’ anymore. Lol… I did defy the ‘odds’ didn’t I? Dating a guy who doesn’t drive… oh my gosh… what am I gonna do next… have fufu for breakfast? Lmao… the saga will end in part 3 I promise

@Biodun: lmao… you berra be!!!

Anonymous said...

did she ever explain why she didnt like him? did she have feelings for him too. i guess i have to wait for part 3 for the answers to these questions. LOL

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@confusednaijagirl: No… she doesn’t even admit that she doesn’t like him… I can just tell. She doesn’t care to talk about him or anything but pretends everything is alright. She doesn’t have feelings for him(she has a long term relationship and we never like each others guys… that much I am a 100% on)… she doesn’t like him simply because she was not part of the ‘approval process’. I mean you’d think that she would be happy for me just because I’m happy but she’s too busy ‘not caring’ to notice. She doesn’t even know he’s told me he loves me… she doesn’t even know we almost broke up. She doesn’t know almost anything that has to do with him because she never wants to listen to anything I have to say about him. Well what I’m gonna talk about in part 3 is the result of the surprise birthday party I had for her on December 08 last year. I asked readers for suggestions on how to throw the party… you can check my archives for it if you want. Hope your week is going great!

The Mistress said...

That bitch was NOT your friend.

Ugh, she sounds like a total asshole.

I had a 'friend" like this once.

The bitch didn't last long, I'll tell ya that.

Anonymous said...

dear u cant keep leaving us hanging!!!!

Ineka said...

Ah ah, this babe! How you gonna leave us hanging?? come back abeg.
Hmmm..from what I've read so far, it seems that the babe might have felt that you were seriously changing because of your new relationship, probably felt some kind of resentment. For all you know, she remembered his name but tried to act like she didn't. I don't know man..still she shouldn't have acted so Juvvy.
Infact finish the jist before I talk my own.

Nyemoni said...

Girlfriend, of course she remembered his name!! She just wanted to upset you! I think you should let her go... remember
“if you love something, let it go; if it comes back, it's all yours; if it doesn’t, it never was"
Hard pill to swallow, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.. also remember the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3… ‘For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven … a time to a time to be born and to die;
a time to plant, and to reap, a time to break down, and to build up; a time to weep, and to laugh; a time to mourn, and to dance; a time to cast away stones, and to gather stones together; a time to keep, and to cast away; a time to keep silence, and to speak; a time to love, and to hate; a time for war, and for peace’…. Not to preach sister, but God may be ordering your steps.. just let it be.. and stop being so angry… You’ll need Botox too soon :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh hun, that is just too sad!!! I am so sorry.. finish the story quick...

yankeenaijachick said...

Sup me friend, could be really annoying when a supposed best friend fails to remember your boyfriend's name. Stay loved girl.

LonelierThanAkon said...

You this girl.
You've perfected the art of holding people to ransome with their curiosity.
Do me a favor, split the next part in two, post them several days apart and starve your readers some more, make we see wetin go happen.

PS:if you choose to do so, send me the full thing seperately, thanks.

Vera Ezimora said...

Girl, you better update if u don't want me 2 do to u what I did 2 Bloke.

lol @ it hurts more than when I took Bloke. Hehehe.

NaijaBloke said...

Still going to wait for part III ..
So u did not hurt or mourn me abi ..well for that am going to .... (make Vera no break my head) ..LOL

Calabar Gal said...

Didnt remember ur boyfriend's name! Oh Oh!! Part 3 puhleaze!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@The Mistress: that’s exactly how I’m beginning to feel… I mean if she’s my friend… best friend for that matter… why would she act like this? I don’t even know if I can stand it anymore… I really don’t… going on your blog to see what you’ve been up to… I’ve been away from blogging for a while cos of some terrible food poisoning over the holidays… but knowing you… I can bet you had a blast(and hopefully got some… lol)

@Naijalove: I don’t plan to oh my dear… the story was just longer than I expected… but then again… I should’ve know… I’m congesting 5 years of friendship… but the next part will be the last

@Ineka: I really love opinions on this cos some part of me just tells me to nip the whole thing in the bud… but I want to know that I’m not taking harsh measures… that’s the reason why I’m putting the whole story out there… I thought her reactions were juvvy too and very hurtful but I guess sometimes people never know how much their actions affect others(especially people close to them)

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Nyemoni: Thanks for those words… a time to keep and a time to cast away… a time to keep silence and a time to speak… powerful words from THE MAN HIMSELF! Lol… I’m really trying not to be angry… and I’m sorta succeeding… sorta

@Elle: It is terribly sad… I’m almost done writing up the 3rd part(but lemme warn you beforehand… it’s loooong!… lol)

@yankeenaijachick: Terribly annoying.. thanks sunshine… how’s your week going?

@lonelierthanAkon: lol… I just love your name…. What’s making you lonely love? Anything we in the blogworld can do to cheer you up? Lmao… I won’t follow that suggestion before some of my blogfriends (you included) track me down and do something I don’t even want to imagine… lol.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Vera Ezimora: lol… I am going to update it today oh I promise because I saw what you did to Bloke… and all I’ll say to him is “Good luck handling the craze woman you picked over me”… lol.

@NaijaBloke: I hurt and mourned you… but I’m telling you that for my revenge… on you guys wedding day… I’m wearing a white dress with red shoes(let people mistake the bride!!!)… lol… Part 3 coming right up with a side-dish of ‘cheaters!!!’

@CalabarGal: yup… didn’t remember my boyfriend’s name!I realized I miss your presence from my blog oh... whether you been dey take some small vacation from me... but welcome back my sister!!! In fact I'm going to throw a party in your honour(avocado and orange juice only... lol... what can I say... health is in!!!)

Anonymous said...

bring part three naa what the hell!

Anonymous said...

bring part three naa what the hell!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@JadedKiss: lol… babe… close your eyes… count to 11.34… then open your eyes and part 3 will be up!!!

Anonymous said...

wow, couldnt she see your change made you happy? i will never understand friends and when THEY change.