Friday, January 05, 2007

My Award



I just found out from TaureanMinx's blog that I won a Nigerian Blog(ger) Award for… DrumRoll Please….

“Most Scandalous Blogger Of 2006”

Now personally, I wouldn’t have minded an award for my ‘striking metaphors’ and ‘humanitarian work on behalf of the rabbits of the Sahara desert’… but no problems… I’ll still take most Scandalous blogger. But hold on… what does this really say about my intellectual abilities?! Huh?!?!? Lol

In honour of this fantastic award, I am going to pay tribute to my idol and mentor Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe by getting a custom-made thong with his face on it as well as our motto: “Nigeria does not belong to anybody”!

Now about this award, I want to give a couple shoutouts:

First of all I want to thank the Lord above for giving me gorgeous mile-long bow-legs… I’ve been able to do a lot of great things with them!

I want to thank my boyfriend for being my ‘practice’ and inspiration for a lot of ‘scandalous thoughts’

I want to personally thank Naijadyme for giving me the idea about the ice… he was ‘froze’… lol

I also want to thank Robin Thicke for having that voice and singing those songs… you’ve set the mood for many a night… and you sort of give me impure thoughts sometimes

Jacobs… you deserve a special mention for making gorgeous bras that are sexy and let me shine!

NYC… you make totally sexy black nail polish that lets me feel like a Nigerian dominatrix.

I also want to say Fuck you to every bad Fuck I ever had and thanks to the good ones (only 2 come to think of it).

I also want to say tremendous orgasms in 2007 to all the fans of Overwhelmed Naija Babe.

You guys are sexy and that’s why you voted me in for office. I plan to change things around in the White House (am I getting a little ahead of myself here?). I’m bringing in male strippers and leather whips, water beds and rotating chairs… It’s gonna be a ‘fruitful’ year!!!

On that note… I dedicate this award to my boyfriend’s tongue… you won’t get to feel it… but you’ll sure as hell read about it!!!

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just to say I'm first....Haven't read it yet...LOL

Anonymous said...

Finished reading

And now everyone that didn't know now know why you won that award.....LOL!

An award well deserved...

Anonymous said...

Overwhelmed....Overwhelmed...Overwhelmed....How many times did I call you?
Lol...you crack me up...you never cease to amaze/amuse me with scandalousity! I know thats not a word.

Congratulations madam-bow-leg!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Nilla: yay@ being first… Now today’s prize is ‘a special dedication of my favorite Naija song Konko Below by Lagbaja on the radio for you tomorrow morning”!!! so just listen up by 7am tomorrow and make sure you get your waist ready to whine down low! Hehe… lmao… Thanks luv… but I’m still wondering why I didn’t win any award for my ‘fantastic figures of speech’… I smell partiarity… lol

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@SapphireAster: lol… na only 3 times you call me oh… hehe@scandalousity… I like that word oh… maybe I can talk to my contacts over at oxford dictionary… maybe they can make it the word of the year! Colbert’s “truthiness” has nothing on that! Hehe… thanks luv… it’s not easy oh… so me I’m just sipping African Dom Perignon(palm wine) and enjoying my success… lol

Anonymous said...

Finally, you give me a gift (konko below) i like...LOL

azuka said...

Congratulobia on your award [with apologies to Zebrudaya].

Come to think of it, it wouldn't do your idol to have his face inscribed on the back of a thong and sat on.

chainreader said...

oh, this post has totally overwhelmed me! you should have posted something like this before the awards. would have gotten you even more votes!

and i second your thought on winning the award for "humanitarian work on behalf of the rabbits of the Sahara desert". you've done so much for them and really should have been recognised. hasn't anybody been reading your blog?

don't mind them, oh jare! i feel you.

Anonymous said...

LOL LOL LOL
congrats on ur award... I guess Bf's tongue would be doing wonders tonite..... @ Nija dominatrix!!! tht was funny... dont forget ur girdle and mask!!!!! LOL

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Nilla: lol… that’s double excitement for the both of us… I knew I’d get it right some time… but hold on oh what does this your statement imply… that you didn’t like the dreamgirls soundtrack?!?!?! Abeg don’t talk that one oh before I come on your blog and bombard you with lyrics from every song on that album… don’t make me oh!!!

@Azuka: lol… thanks oh…. Shebi I deserve it now! Me and Dr. Azikiwe have an understanding… really… we do!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@chainreader: lmao @ you being overwhelmed… I think I should patent that word oh!! If I had posted this one before the awards… I think they might’ve changed the name of my word to something a lot less pg-13… lol… readers voted based on some stuff I’ve posted back in the day… that might be on par with stuff I just wrote now(but really… I am a good girl in spite of all these random ‘scandalous’ thoughts that run through my mind sometimes… lol). Thanks babe… in fact God is going to reserve you a special place in heaven for recognizing my humanitarian work! You know what… I’m going to appoint you my assistant director of animal and human relations… I FIRE VERA FROM THAT POST… because she spent more time romancing my ex-fiance NaijaBloke than filling out the paperwork! Sebi I can trust you oh?!

@zee: lol… it already did… babe my hair is all over the place right now… let me get my thoughts together a little, take a shower and I’ll come back and gist y’all about my ‘super time’ with the ex-boyfriend this evening… My very first fuck this year!!!(EXCITEMENT!!!). lol@ naija dominatrix… wouldn’t that be something?!?! Come oh babe with this mask stuff you’re beginning to sound like you have experience oh… I SUSPECT YOU!!!(TELL US MORE TELL US MORE!!!… hehe)

laspapi said...

Hello Overwhelmed, its Don 'papi here.

(have to find a name for you, Overwhelmed doesn't cut it between the client and the armchair).

Congratulations(?) on the award- (I'm your shrink, I'm meant to work out issues with you, not flow with the tide which is why the question mark is there).

I believe you write to "shock and awe", and your language almost always achieves that. I also think you provide the closest thing to voyeurism a lot of people can find on the blogosphere. (here's where everyone tells me to go to Oprah and leave you alone)

I'm bent on making you a less angry person (I can hear them cussin' me out again). I have fundamental issues I must sort in that area myself, still I think I'll be good for you.

You had me for life with that 'getting slapped for pimples' post and I'll always be your "Voltron".

We'll work it all out, love, bit by bit.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your award! I can see you will celebrate by writing even more scandalous posts. You go girl, crazy babe.

Anonymous said...

congratulations and as always you didnt not fail to live up the award. You trully are scandalous LOLOLOLOL - Have a blessed new year.

Anonymous said...

congratulations and as always you didnt not fail to live up the award. You trully are scandalous LOLOLOLOL - Have a blessed new year.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@laspapi: Hey papi… I can’t wait to see what name you come up with (keep in mind it has to be cute oh!… me I don’t want anything that sounds like atutupoyoyo.. lmao. I know you’re proud of me and this award… I’m open to the becoming a less angry person and I’m so happy you’ve chosen to help me on my journey… so excited!!! I propose a toast… to new beginnings, new friends and new lessons to be learnt! I wanna give you a name too!!!(can I can I?… lol). Oh and I wanted to dedicate a song to you… it’s called Save me from myself by Christina Aguilera… check it out on youtube or on her ‘back to basics’ album.. I’ll post it up here if I can figure it out!

@favoured girl: Thanks oh babe… you see what they got me up to ehn? If they had just given me an award recognizing my amazing metaphors and similes… then I dazzled y’all even more… but they had to go the scandalous route… so prepare to be scandalized!!! Lol… actually no… I just thought about it… if I do that… then I might get the same award next year… and me I’m gunning for the humanitarian award… so for that reason sometime during the month I’m going to write a post about the living conditions of crickets in the middle East!!!(doesn’t that sound exciting?!) lol… me I hope you’ve updated your blog oh or I’m going to call my nwunye-di Vera to come and let’s bug you on your blog and sing you Nigerian commercials all night long!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@The Life of a stranger called me: lmao… I’m trying to organize a different campaign for next year oh… I’ve said it before… I want the “humanitarian award”… or is it possibly possible to be a scandalous humanitarian?!?! Hehe… that’d be too hot!!! Thanks for supporting me since 4eva… I appreciate!! Have a fantastic new year too

laspapi said...

still thinking about your 'name' but it'll be a cute one, I promise. You remind me of "sugar n spice n all that's nice".

I am proud of you, I think you're a force of nature. "To new beginnings, new friends, new lessons to be learnt and that unquencheable spirit of yours".

"Save me from myself"- Thanx for that dedication, I'll go look for it. You've made a friend for life.

ps. you may give me a name too, but don't let it lessen my cool. ;-)

Remember you can call me anytime, love. With you, there are no conditions.

Anonymous said...

Anyone clicking on your blog's link to "Desola" will give you the award for next year straightaway... I was absolutely scandalised...

Vera Ezimora said...

Overwhelmed, you're as stingy and selfish as they come. How dare u say we won't get 2 feel ur bf's tongue? What is this world turning 2? A world where a girl can't share?? Nooooo, this is unacceptable!

I am comin 2 Canada right away and I am gonna feel that tongue! That's it!!!

Ineka said...

Amen to the Orgasms! LOL...

Craze woman.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@laspapi: I love that song… well the Michael Buble version at least. Thanks babe… I really appreciate it… you’ve also made a friend for life!!! And it’s gonna be exciting(my favorite ‘January’ word). Hehe… I’m still thinking of names… I’ll run it by you later

@Nkem: lol… that wasn’t my intention(I think!)… lol…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Vera: It won’t work for you oh… even if I didn’t revenge you for taking NaijaBloke my baby angel boo sugarplum from me… I won’t even allow you close to my boyfriend’s tongue… I mean I don’t mind you getting his feet, and hands even… but that tongue?!?! NA WORLD WAR 3 up in hurr!!! I hope you’re wearing your helmet and carrying your kitchen knife cos it’s gonna get bloody!!! Oh and by the way… I’ve been practicing my Calabar Kung-Fu… to be forewarned is to be forearmed… and don’t forget what the elders said in the past “ a frog doesn’t run in the daylight by himself… he’s either chasing after something or something is chasing after him”… I have no clue how that relates to this… but I just wanted you to keep that in mind… lol

@Ineka: lol… na really Amen to the orgasms! Have a great weekend luv.. and abeg next time leave me your blog address… for some strange reason… I can’t find it and I’m gonna attempt again to add a couple blogs on my blogroll(and please pray psalm 23 for me that I don’t loose everything I already have on here like last time seeing as I’m technically challenged!)

azuka said...

I left you a reply on my blog.

azuka said...

Sorry, wrong link. Here it is.

reen said...

omg girl u're hilarious! i was rolling on the floor laughing when i read this
lmao @ the custom made thong with Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe face on it...very scandalous. congratulation on ur award!!!! lol

Anonymous said...

You are a funny chic!

Meanwhile, I see that you want to get the same award next year. LOL!

Anonymous said...

girl... you are a TRIP!! LOL

LonelierThanAkon said...

Mile-long bow leg.
Tremendous orgasms in 2007.
Boyfriend's tongue.

O-girl, your ideas gime a fever.
vanilla flavored fever.

In my books u've got all awards imaginable.

Mile-long bow leg, kai, can i get a clone?

Congrats.

Anonymous said...

Nice ONB!!! good job.. now keep that scandlousness coming.. *cough*... I mean saving the rabbits in the rain forest or was it the saharah?

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

My dear,
long time no hear. congratulations on the award, well deserved and trust u to live up to the award ehn?

amen to the orgasm this year o, but on a serious note, who will give me that na? no boyfriend in sight?

happy new year babes.

Anonymous said...

wairraminit, did u say sex with the ex?? am i missing something here??!!!.. You are truly scandalous... LOL!!! ok love, give me the gist....

chainreader said...

i was going to ask the same thing! abeg, clarify!

and on another note, any position i can acquire by having Vera kicked out is most welcome. i graciously accept.

Anonymous said...

my word! most scandal-icious indeed. let's drink a toast to many many earth-moving, globe-warming orgasms.

and no, i don't want to feel your man's tongue. ewwwwwwwwwww!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Azuka: ok… me I’ve added you on overwhelmednaijababe@hotmail.com… abeg respond with immediate effect so we can get this show on the road!!!

@reen: lol… Thanks my luv… I knew you and Dr. Azikiwe would understand my ‘nationalistic sentiments’ (dang… the English whey I dey blow for here… no be small oh!!!)

@In my head and around me: lol… no oh… me I want to get this award plus a different one… but one that shows more of my ‘smart’ side… hehe… Amen to that…. That’s why me I’m bribing you people now so you can remember me election time… MKO is our man oh(well in this place… it’s overwhelmed!… yay… I have my own personal election song!!!)

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Belle: hehe… thanks… and I know you’re just using American style to say… baby girl… ‘continue with your humanitarian work’… and my reply to that is… “By the power invested in me by Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe and Martin Luther king… I will… I’m going to stand on top of that Olumo Rock Mountain and tell the world: I have a dream… that all the rabbits in the sahara will be parched no more… we’re going to build an oasis’… can I get an Amen?!?!?!

@LonelierThanAkon: lol@vanilla flavoured fever… come me I’m starting to suspect you as one of the people that voted me for ‘scandalous’ because I can tell you’re enjoying all the bad bad things… lol. Thanks sha… but clone ke… what’s the chances of meeting another sexy philanthropist like overwhelmed again? SLIM OH! So just enjoy me for now… and keep the awards coming… hehe

@Elle: lmao… I can tell you understand where I’m coming from… and for that reason… I’m gonna dedicate my next award to you! And we’re going on tour to the rainforest next weekend… so pack your camera and your stilettos… it’s gonna be a ‘runway’!!!

@36 inches: Babe I’ve been trying to get on your blog for a big now but for some reason I couldn’t find your link… I think I’m gonna have to update my blogroll(just hope I don’t delete everything like last time!!) so I can go on your blog and bug you anytime I want!!! Happy New Year sha babe and yes a very big amen to the orgasm this year… kosi problem… you know I’m also a detective as well as a humanitarian, philanthropist, writer, professional girlfriend and student… so kosi problem… we can get things done. I missed you sha… I dey come your blog now self come rap small nonsense(I’m trying to learn how to rhyme… hehe)

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@zee: lol… no oh… I didn’t have sex with my ex oh… I meant my boyfriend… lol… my last ex had a smaller penis and whenever we did the do… his idea of sexy/dirty talk was “so you like it huh… so you like it huh”… and when he was really going for the prize.. he’d say “so you really like it huh… so you really like it huh?”… lol… a real mood killer… and me I will now leave the best sex of my life to go back to that?! No thanks ma’am… lol… I wouldn’t do him if I could get a job with Bill Gates after!!! In fact you’ve inspired me to write about that guy… sometime during the month I’ll do another post on one of my past fucks(ex-boyfriend?).. lol

@chainreader: lol… read my reply to zee… no oh… me I didn’t do annyring with my ex oh… I can’t even maintain a friendship with an ex self… when it’s over it’s over… so imagine me now going to spread-eagle… hasn’t happened ever… won’t happen ever. It was my boyfriend I got some from sha… my first hump of the year… and I hadn’t had some in a month… so it was intense trust me… I’ll probably give y’all the gist on it next week or something! Yes oh… I have fired Vera a long time ago… the final straw was when my ex-fiance NaijaBloke came to my office… I thought he came to discuss marriage plans… because at the time I wanted to get married in a morrocan tent in the Dominican Republic with male strippers and French waiters serving isi ewu, palm wine and lasagna… only to now see Vera hugging up my boo in my own office… in fact let me not visit past memories because that day… I almost called my ex-boyfriend’s cousin’s boyfriend in Jail to come and take care of one or two things for me… only I was touched by the spirit… can I get an Amen!!!

@Olawunmi: lol… I will definitely drink that toast oh… earth-moving orgasms… hell yeah… but come oh… you never read your science book lately… them talk say global warming no good… na him you want carry you and your woman doggy style spoil environment for us ehn?! You want destroy ozone layer with your missionary abi?!?!? Olawunmi it won’t work for you!!! Lol… you don’t want to feel my man’s tongue ehn?! Are you sure cos me I sensed you were just using a figure of speech oh… as in you want to feel it but you don’t want to admit it… tell me oh… you know me I can keep secrets now! lol

Anonymous said...

Congratulations ONB and a big LOL to this post. You are one crazy chica. Keep doing what you do.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Mari: lol… thanks babe… I’ll keep doing it my dear and me I just hope you’ve updated your blog oh or me I’m coming there to wreak havoc!!!

Confessions of a moody crab said...

Congrats!! Truly deserved especially after reading this post!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Confessions of a moody crab: Thanks luv… I appreciate… congrats on your award too... so in the meantime… follow me and dance to the melodic tunes of Shina Peters as we eat Isi ewu under the Sycamore Tree… !

Anonymous said...

Do something about your link to Desola oh.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@anonymous: lmao... I'll change it right now... hehe.. how on earth did that happen... but na serious research you dey do find am sha! lol

Anonymous said...

FUCK U ... yeah U...WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEXT POST ... U BETTER WRITE A BOOK... SO I COULD GO AHEAD AND BUY THE DAMN THING.....AKA BLOGFIEND......

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Anonymous: lol… that’s the first time I’ve been totally unsure if a ‘fuck you’ was a compliment or an insult… lol. Strange enough it’s weirdly cute that I have a reader that anxious for the next post… write a book huh?! Maybe I should cos there’s a bunch of stuff I wrote in the past that I never finished… if I can find any of that… I’ll put it up… I’ll probably put up something tomorrow or something cos I’m about to go out tonight(some Nigerian party that should be terribly fun!!! I haven’t danced to African music in a few weeks… so I’m craving some)… and I mean if you haven’t… you should go through my archives(why do I have a feeling you already have?!)And if you have the chance... listen to the Best of Anita Baker(she completely rocks!!!!!!)

Anonymous said...

@ONB.. Hell ya baby.. I am there!!!

Anaedo said...

Congratulations...

I always knew you'd make your mark and you have vindicated the faith I had (and still have) in you. Keep up the good work--yes, you know we all love your titillating pieces..:)

Happy New Year, and may it bring you closer to your goals.

Uzo said...

Congratulations. LOL

M.O.T said...

The shout outs were too funny and u did live up to ur award lol
Congratulations babe!

Vickii said...

Well done hun! You deserve it ... plus several more!