Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Conversation With An Ex

I have this habit of never being friends with my ex’s. I usually don’t like to keep in contact because all they ever do is try to get back together (which I obviously want none of). I mean if t(he)y say(s) hi, I’ll be polite… I just never go out of my way to chat. I didn’t keep in contact with the only two guys that I kinda still liked after we broke things off just so I could heal and get over it completely.


Anyways, I saw one of my ex’s Kofi(6ft 3 inches tall, cute abs, Ghanaian, in university, slightly cute, great abs) at a party two weeks ago, and he just couldn’t keep his eyes off me. He even came and stood close to me so he could be catching all my ‘sexy movements’. Everytime I passed by him, he’d ask if I was alright (course I am… wasn’t that obvious?). I was so happy cos I was looking ‘stupendously sexy’. He didn’t even bother trying to ask for my new number again this time probably because of the conversation I had with him when he tried it at a Ghanaian concert about 11 months ago:


Kofi: Hey overwhelmed… long time no see or hear

Overwhelmed: I know… how you doing?

Kofi: Well I’m good… but even better now that I see you here… you’re looking good as always babe

Overwhelmed: Thanks… you’re not looking so bad yourself

Kofi: I’ve been trying to get in contact with you for a long while but you changed your number.

Overwhelmed: Yea

Kofi: Why don’t you give me your new number?

Overwhelmed: Why?

Kofi: Why not?

Overwhelmed: I’m just saying… how come you want my number?

Kofi: So we can just talk you know… I mean I can just call you up once in a while to chat

Overwhelmed: I’m so sorry Kofi… I don’t have a phone

Kofi: lol… Overwhelmed please stop your jokes… I can see the phone in your hand… just give me your number

Overwhelmed: I’m sorry… I can’t… I don’t think my husband would like that

Kofi: Husband? Overwhelmed which husband? I know you’re not married…

Overwhelmed: I am… and my husband is not in support of me having any male friends… he feels that anything I want to tell a ‘male friend’, I can either tell him or one of my girlfriends. I mean I remember you as a nice guy, and I would’ve loved to give you my number but imagine if I do that and my husband divorces me, do you have the means to keep me in the comfort I’ve become used to?

Kofi: lol… do you have any proof of this your marriage?

Overwhelmed: Of course… can’t you see my huge diamond ring? (lol… thankfully I was wearing a huge gorgeous cocktail ring)

Kofi: That is not a wedding ring… it’s a fashion ring

Overwhelmed: I know… it’s not a traditional wedding ring… but my husband is aware that when I come to these parties by myself… there will be a lot of guys trying to take me away from him… so for that reason instead of getting just a small ring that nobody will notice, he got me this huge 46 carat diamond ring so that every guy can notice it from whatever corner and stay far away from me. (lmao… by this time Kofi was laughing so hard I almost blew my cover and joined in)

Kofi: Overwhelmed… I can see you’re still as full of shit as ever… anyways girl take care of yourself and say hi to your husband

Overwhelmed: oh I will… and you be safe too


(lol… immediately he left, me and my friends started laughing so hard the artist on stage actually started looking in our corner thinking we were laughing at him… husband indeed… lol)


No wonder he didn’t ask me for my number again two weeks ago… lol… I guess he didn’t want to hear my new ‘story’. As my mom would say… “A foolish answer for a foolish request”. I mean this dude was aware when I actually liked him in the past but he was always being hot today and cold tomorrow. Of course, once I decided to kill the whole thing… he was on my ass like white on rice. But I had already X’d it… Forward Ever... Backward Never!


{This guy was actually the second guy I ever had sex with, so I’ll probably write a more detailed post about how we met and how things ended when I have a minute}

(Unnaked Soul… I promise I’ll do the tag immediately after I put up my next post)

47 comments:

azuka said...

I seem to have arrived at the right time to be first.

Girl, that's hilarious. Like I'd say, it goes both ways. It's good you have such a nice guy ex.

I know a guy whose ex constantly made trouble for his subsequent girlfriends. It wasn't very funny and the guy's the kind who takes things lying down. He was so helpless...

Ms zee said...

Azuka I shall bring on the bazooka tonight for being first...

46carats.....he got the gist love...How have you been??

Freaky Deaky said...

Wow, I get to comment while they're still in the single digits. Cool! LOL!

So what's the deal with Kofi? Were you not over him when he asked for your number 11 months ago? Would you be friends with him now?

Have a nice day.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Azuka: Congrats on coming first… Today’s Prize is 4 vegetable spring rolls from my favorite Chinese Restaurant with a Cranberry Vodka (you’re too young to drink self abi?... so I guess it’ll just be a chilled cranberry… hehe). I’ve never had a ‘bitchy ex’ or one that threatened my piece of mind or safety or future relationships… that’d be absolutely terrible… I have heard numerous horror stories about stalkers and suchlike… God forbid bad thing oh…

@Ms. Zee: lol… I’ve been alright oh babe… I went to spend the weekend with my momma so I didn’t really have time to come on blogspot… oh and I went to the Nigerians in Diaspora thing on Saturday. It was fun and the live music was fantastic… see us ‘bere-mole-in’(if that’s even the way to spell it… lol). The chicken there was amazing too… but some stupid arrogant fool was pissing me off because of his executive position in the youth association… I’m not sure that I’ll write a post about it cos he looks like a ‘blogger’ and seeing as I don’t want to be found out yet… hehe… how was your weekend mami?

@Freaky Deaky: lol… come to think of it… you’re always late! Yeah I was so over him by the time I saw him that’s why I was talking some bullshit cos I wanted him off my case… nope… I can’t and won’t be friends with an ex… I don’t see the point… when it’s done, it’s done! Not much sense dwelling in the past

tiwalade said...

Funny post. 6ft 3, great abs, slightly cute? sounds hot! Sista, we're waiting for the full tori!how did things start and end?

Akin said...

I fear for what story would be, it would definitely be grand-parental advisory and scandalous, I doubt I would be able to read beyond the first paragraph.

londonnaijachic said...

liking the way you approaced thing with him at the party.You never know what u got till its gone.That is all in the past now,thang God for that.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@tiwalade: he was iite… lol… the full tori eh… I’ll probably make that my next post!

@Akin: lol… why do you have that impression pray tell… that everything is scandalous… no be so oh!

@londonnaijachic: I actually realized I’ve been meaning to go on your blog but I was too lazy to go into my archives… so I’ll just put you on my blogroll and make life much much easier for me! My dear… that’s exactly what it is… people don’t know what they have until it’s gone… well his loss abi?

139887123 said...

hello! A Good News,google introduce a very user-friendly browser,Free download Quickly,Please visit my blog thank you

nosa101 said...

Now that's just mean.......this is why I hate females (Note: I do not like men either). He was just trying to be friendly (I might be wrong)

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Nosa101: lol… friendly my non-existent left nut… where was he Mr. Friendly when I was ‘trying to make it with him’… course he was just trying to be ‘friendly’… they always get like that when you’re over them… and me I wasn’t being mean jare… I was just giving him a stupid response for a stupid request… my number to what? Continue from where he left off? I think not!

chicka said...

i totally understand what u mean by not wanting 2 be friends with an ex, matta of fact im that way 2 but my mom was able enuff 2 convince me dat one shldnt completely lose contact with sum1 cos his/her relationship wit d perosn didnt last....i mean u neva kno u myt be in a bad predicament sumday nd somehow, he myt b d only 1 2 bail u out. but trust me gurl wen i mean i try as much 2 keep my distance, i mean it. cos most ex's (not all)cum under d camouflage of wantin 2 be just "friends" nd creep back in2 ur heart lyk a lil roach, only 2 get u ryt back where u started. an x can have my number o!! but dont freakin call me by 1 am in d midnite thinkin its all gravy cos i feel so sorry 4 u if i happen 2 b in a bad mood dat day....uld mosdef regret ever thnkn of callin me. i have dis thng wit 1 of my ex's.... we'r cool 2day nd enemies 2moro cos he cant seem 2 cum 2 d fact dat i dunt want his ass nomore so while he's dere thnkn buyin me my favorite smoothie is gonna win me back.. all he's doin, is really deceivin himself. so weneva he seems 2 come grasp it, he gets mad and decides not 2 speak 2 me den afta 3mths or so, he calls me bak. im tellin u, dis has been an ongoin routine 4 d past 2 yrs. 4 d 1st tym im really considering changin my number cos of sum1. DANG!!! ive written a whole freaking post nd im not even dat much of a writer(lol) that goes 2 show how good a writer u are...u spark up emotions(LOL) keep 'em coming gurl.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

girl that is thrrreeeeeeeee funny.... nice story...isnt funny how it works out though..you want them...they play...you move on..and then all of sudden they're in your space

zaiprincesa said...

OVERWHELMED OH!!!!....SEXY MAMA ive missed u!..lol...ok, ive been catching up on all that ive missed....WHat is this i hear about some punk tryin to start somefin wif u? GRRLL, they had betta think 2ce...Anywho, on a brighter note...46carat?? LMAO..u r tew much..and im sure he got the message sha....Hope ure good!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@chicka: lol… this your ex is strong oh… and really putting out his A-game… unfortunately they forget sometimes that it’s better to leave the past in the past. But I understand what you’re saying about just keeping options open just in case they can be of benefit to you… that’s why I’ll say hi back if they say hi… lol… thanks for dropping by my blog… you should start one… I find your comments very interesting

@DiamondHawk: lol… my dear no be small oh

@Zaiprincesa: I’ve missed you too oh mami… I’m so glad you’re back cos I was thinking of sending out operation find a missing person to help us locate you oh…. So I can’t wait to hear all the holiday gist oh… Happy New year my angel… my dear you must’ve gone back a couple posts self… all that ‘spiritual morality’ happened about 2 weeks ago… but I already made my feelings known on the subject… hehe… yes oh… 46 carat… I had to let him know wassup!!!

laspapi said...

Storm, Hasn't kofi heard that lightning doesn't strike in the same place 2ce?

"If a man fools you once, shame on him. If he fools you 2ce, shame on you".

Andrew said...

But... but... just imagine how all this makes your husband feel? First you just conjure him out of mid-air. Great, okay, so he gets invited to the party. But then when you don't need him anymore you just laugh with your girlfriends and "poof!" -- there he goes, flitting back into your imagination. Must be hard on his ego. Then again, what has he ever done for you? (Oh yeah, he DID help run off the ex. I'm confused.)

I enjoyed your story :o)

Andrew (To Love, Honor, and Dismay)

mack said...

I wouldn't wanna be your ex. Don't you girls ever feel sorry for ex's? All the drooling... all the "I still love you"s... yeesh.

hehe, I wish I was there... I go laugh the guy tire.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Laspapi: My sentiments exactly!!! And it’s sad how many “Kofis” I have in my life… really sad.

@Andrew: lol… you get it.

@Mack: Some girls feel sorry for their ex’s… I don’t… I mean I won’t pretend to be cold-hearted and say that I’ve never felt anything for any ex… there have actually been ones that I really liked even after things cooled off… but the ‘not-being-in-contact’ helps me heal. If I’m talking to the dude every other day and he’s really sweet… I’d never really get over him will I? it’s like Kate Winslet’s Character in “The Holiday”… you can’t let go until you really let go… and Kofi is sooo gone!

stacy jones said...

Girl you are to funny. I happy that I am alone because I laughing so loud.

Bluntremi said...

Another great post...

I can understand your situation, but I happen to talk to all of my ex's...We arent chummy per se...but if I see them I chat, introduce them to hubby(so hubby and I can gossip properly later) and keep on moving... All of my hubby's ex's want him (no surprise there) They have seen what I have done with him and lets just say they didnt realize he had it in him!!! LOL - gotta love that!!

So , kudos on not giving up your number, thats wise. But its still networking REGARDLESS...never feel sorry for them (as they wont feel sorry for you), as they would jump you in a heartbeat!!

A guy once told me that the easiest way to get laid was to hit up an ex!! Imagine that!! Wont be me...and obviously not you either!!

Girls need to know these things...

confusednaijagirl said...

ONB i LOVE ur blog. You always have something to make me laff, even when you are angry (as seen in your previous posts) LMAOOOOO
check out a culture of silence in my blog and help spread the word . thanks

Vera Ezimora said...

I wanna talk about my ex, but I won't because I am not an anonymous blogger. I know he reads my blog

Maybe he finally wants to stay hottt? I dunno. Guys can be funny.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@stacy jones: lol… thanks… funny always sounds so much better than crazy… babe I have been unable to leave comments on your blog for some strange reason… I have to be a team member.. what does that mean?

@bluntremi: Exactly!!! Lol@ your hubby’s ex’s wanting him because they see what you’ve done with him… you’re so funny… I love love love your blog… you’re definitely joining my list of favorite bloggers… you speak the truth! Thanks for dropping by…

@confusednaijagirl: Thanks sunshine… you know I absolutely adore you and your writing… you’re like my cybertwin(and I seem to be having a few of those these days)… I’ll go check out your blog in a few minutes… hope you’re having a great week babe

yankeenaijachick said...

once l dump a guy, that's it.......l don't even say hi. Bye and bye forever except if the guy was really a nice guy which is mere impossicant from my storie cos a friend won't treat me wrong. you know..lol

Naija Sapphire said...

That was interesting. I always claim that I have one husband or the other. Best yet, I have rings to put on my finger when going out. If I like a guy, the ring stays on the right hand. If another guy I don't like approaches me, I change it to my left quickly! Amazingly, I'm still friends with my exes. Sometimes, it makes me think that I make a better friend than a gf to them.

You better write more about him. It's gonna be fun to hear more about him. And if you're doing a tag, tag me on what you know i am capable of doing oh! not like the last one. lol.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Vera Ezimora: this whole anonymous thing might be an illusion after all cos I suspect a few of my friends or at least people I know are aware of and read my blog… but knowing me… choose not to say anything… I don’t really mind… except its my mom… then I’ll probably run out of here faster than you can say Jack Robinson. My dear… ex’s are just that… ex’s… call me harsh but I just can’t be bothered!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Yankee Naija Chick: My dear I thought it was only me… I just can’t be bothered… I mean there’s a reason we broke up in the first place right? friendship for what? I already have enough friends… and I don’t want you staring at my tits every Saturday evening cos you remember what they used to look like wet… fuck all that shit to death!

@Naija Sapphire: lol… you’re a fast babe oh… and me I thought I had ‘game’! I like that your style sha… but me I give the stupidest excuses ever just to show the guys how stupid their requests are… lol… I will write more about him in my next post… and yes you will be tagged… but trust me… this one is very very ‘tame’… you know the spiritual brigade have cleansed my soul completely of any impure thoughts I might’ve had in the past!

Naijadude said...

Come on, dont start with your lovely "big-mouthed yoruba man" again oh...LOl...I so dont want to see a blog about him eh! afterall the guy bribed our table with pop and fruit punch! LOL **he personally bought it, like he said**

Wonders they say shall never end! Someone from my online rendezvous from the USA was in Canada for that program and they saw me, wanted to say Hi but I left before they got to me, come dey ask me "who is that brown hair girl, they hope I am not taken, cos I look edible...LOL"

BabaAlaye said...

Oh Shit.

Vox said...

I am gonna borrow a leaf from you, I oughta stop calling my Ex, Stop giving her ideas. thanks for inspiring

Ms Jade said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... u're something else girl, what is it with Ex sef.... two of mine want to get back but hell, no... omo, its to the left, to the left with them.

temmy tayo said...

See as you finished the poor boy.


Guys can be funny tho. The case of the EX???? I am short of words.

UnNaked Soul said...

uhmmm... I see...

mimi said...

gurl u r sooooo gangsta, 46 what... puh-leese, ur so funny

Favoured Girl said...

LOL at this post Overwhelmed. My idea of exes is the same as yours: I don't waste time still trying to be friends with an ex. It didn't work out, so please let's move on. (But now I know why guys don't believe me when I go out and say I'm married. Becos of you!)

Ubong Da said...

Why wouldn't you talk to your ex? Are you scared of okafor's law. I think a few people take this ex matter too far. Except where your expectations were too high and you felt hurt when the relationship ended. I still talk to a few of my ex, in fact some are married with kids and still call me to gist. No big deal jare.

Jem said...

It was his fault ..... he caused it from the beginning when he refused to be serious with you. Hot and Cold is really not a very nice thing to do to someone.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Ive decided, think of something you think that couldnt possibly happen to anyone, turn up at OVerwhelmed page and see it happen live. You life is definately real, and things defo happen. You are too funny.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Naijadude: lol… I don’t even think I’m gonna talk about that guy or the conference… the mumu ugly rude fool looks like a blogger! Lmao@brown hair girl… I’m gonna call you tonight so we talk more about it

@BabaAlaye: Oh shit sounds about right… lol

@Vox: My dear I guess people can be different sha… I mean some people are comfortable talking to their ex’s without having any ‘hook back up’ ideas… not me sha! So you can judge based on her reactions if she wants you back or thinks you’re calling her to get her back… and if she minds you know

@Ms. Jade: lol… I love that… to the left to the left!!!

@temmytayo: My dear na really case of the ex!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Unnaked: lol… na so we see am

@Mimi: my dear 46 carat… na stupid response for stupid request! Hehe… but I could definitely see why he didn’t ask me for my number the last time he saw me

@Favoured Girl: Exactly!!! I really don’t see the point… hehe… don’t worry I’m going to cook up another excuse for the dudes so they will now start believing that you’re married sha… lol

@Ubong Da: Lol… never heard of Okafor’s Law but I can only imagine what it states. Nope… doesn’t matter what my expectations of the relationship were… once it’s done… for me it’s done… I’ll say hi back if he does… but nothing more that… I mean really… what’s the point? cos I could never be as free with the dude with an actual friend… so I don’t see why I should… but it’s great you have a good relationship with your ex’s… different folks… different strokes right?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Jem: It was his fault… lol… but make I no lie sha… even if it was my fault… same result… make them carry go jare… and yes Hot and Cold is one of the worst things you can do to a person

@The Life of a Stranger: lol… no oh… e never reach like that… I just remembered an anonymous commenter actually asked on one of my posts that am I sure this is my life? Apparently it’s too drama filled! lol

*mofope* said...

Awww...poor guy.My view is if a girl was good enuf to become my girlfriend, then she'll remain my friend for life.my exs are still some of my closest friends.I dont have any trouble with them harrassing me or anything like that.If he was nice to you,there's nothing wrong in keeping contact unless u know he's going to try to get into ur pants(which is confidence boosting for u plus it gives u the chance to send him on a wild goose chase, which i think is fair payment for the heart ache.)

Mari said...

lol@ 46 carats.

Nilla said...

lol @ husband not being in support of your having any male friends...
husband ke!!!!

Young Miss Williams said...

You are such a joker!

Eminie said...

I once met an ex in the traffic . U must have seen how I looked through him like he never existed . We dated for like a month and before I could even sneeze he had gone around saying some nasty stuff about me which was not true .The next time i saw him in the bank , I was a bit civil we tried to manage some small talk because he wanted to be identified with a chic , I just said hello he asked for my number I just gave him because he could always get it from my account details .Thank God I have not seen him since then.