Monday, December 18, 2006

He Hasn’t Called

It’s been weird with the boyfriend for the past few days
I mean the last time I saw him was when he slept over at my house on Monday night last week
We had fun… talked, laughed, ate… fucked… our usual, regular fun

He called me on Tuesday night and we talked till I fell asleep.
It was a cute conversation…
I remember him telling me that he was continually amazed by how much he felt for me. I told him I felt the same

He usually calls me every single day so I was surprised when he didn’t call me on Wednesday. I still didn’t hear from him by Thursday, so I called him in the evening. We talked for a bit and I asked him why he didn't called me the day before.
He said he hadn’t been in a good mood.
I remember telling him that ours wasn’t a ‘good-times-only’ relationship.
I mean if something bothered him… he could always call me and talk to me about it.
He admitted that he already felt better talking to me.
We talked a bit more but I could sense a little change and asked him if anything was wrong… he said everything was cool… but that he would ‘come-back-to-me’… FROM WHO? WHERE? WHAT?… hmmmm

I was down that same day with a cold, cough and headache so he stayed with me on the phone while I sipped some herbal tea.
I told him to come and see me on Friday and he told me had to go and see his cousin/friend. I asked him if it was for anything important and he said no… It was only that he’d promised him. What? I was used to him sort of working his weekend schedule around mine. I told him he’d changed because it seemed like all of a sudden I was an option and not a priority. He didn’t say anything about that except that he’d see me on Saturday instead. Remember this conversation happened on Thursday night. It’s been four days now… and I still haven’t heard from my boyfriend. He hasn’t called!!!

I don’t want to jump to conclusions but this is wearing me out… is he punishing me for something I don’t even remember doing? The last time we talked we didn’t argue… the last time we saw, we didn’t fight… so what was this all about? I mean it’s been 4 days… the longest we have ever gone in our relationship without talking? Is our romance done before it’s even begun? Is he taking time off to think? To find him a ‘replacement’? Am I being paranoid? I don’t want to call him cos I didn’t initiate this… I mean I called him on Thursday and he said he’d call me the next day… it’s been 4 days and still nothing.. I don’t really know what to do except wait and see… I’m so new at this emotional ‘wringling’ bullshit. Should I just call him today and just confirm what I already feel in my heart? That we’re done… cos what other explanation could there be? I mean what could he tell me that would make up for the past few days… what could he have been doing that was so important he couldn’t even call me? I hope he doesn’t screw me over really bad cos I’m already hurting

I'm so confused… he hasn’t called!

38 comments:

stranger said...

OWNB...get a grip on yourself girl...so he hasn't called you in four days? life doesn't end there girlfriend...besides where is you faith?...you're thinking of pulling the wrong out from under him just bcos he's been silent for four days and you think he's up to something...take a look in the mirror...if you really love him, why do you want to shoot him after ONLY 4 days?...am not sticking up for him or anything...am just looking out for you...girlfriend, the bible says love is patient, believes the best of the other, and don't give up...and i know you have been scarred but don't let a broken take away your chance to be loved...look, i do not entirely subscribe to the nature and content of your relationship with the boyfriend, but that's beside the point now...the important thing you need to know girlfriend is whatever you been through, there's someone who loves you irrespective, and has always loved you and will always love you...and it's not bcos you love him back or not...you know, that's the starting point, you have to first learn to love and be loved by God before you can ever know true/real love with any man...because like it or not girlfriend, the whole love and intimacy thingie was invented by God...so take a chill pill, fall down on your knees and tell God how you know he loves you and is looking our for you and has got someone(the boyfriend or not) specially designed just for you...and if it helps any...I LOVE YOU...i say that to you on behalf of God.

Anonymous said...

I think u should cal him, to make sure he is alrite. Mayb he has issues 2 sort out. U wil neva knw if u dnt ask him.he is probably xpectin ur call

azuka said...

Wait. The truth will out.

If something hanky-panky's going on behind you, you'll surely find out. Usually, your friends'll be the first to know.

If there's really nothing abnormal, I'd say absence makes the heart grow fonder -- when next you see him, he'll look cuter, ****able [na you teach me oh!], etc etc etc.

Anonymous said...

Wow... that is weird that he's acting this way... but if this is the first time this is happening, give him a chance... don't automatically assume that yhe trying to replace you or that he's up to no good... maybe he truly just needs some time, be the good girlfriend, and call him, check up on him, make sure he's okay... talk to him about it, ask him what's really going on and give him a chance to explain things to you... you jump to comclusion and be open minded, i've been in a similar situation and ended up messing up a great relationship because I wasn't patient and didn't want to hear what the guy had to say at the time... call him, and take it from there...

I hope everything works out...
~DD

Beautifully Human said...

look at it from another point of view. what if he is dealing with his own issues right now? work, school, family, finances, etc. dont be jumping to conclusions that you're to blame babes.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Stranger: I could say a whole lot more… but all that comes to mind right now is … Hmmm….

@Anonymous: My friends think I should call him too… If not for anything… at least for closure…so I know where I stand… they said I should call him today and I’m seriously thinking about it.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Azuka: Wait for him to call me whenever he’s ready to talk right? Lmao… you be BADDDD BOY!!! Hehe… that was my first reaction… to wait at least a week… but this shit is fucking with my psyche for real…

@Discombobulated Diva: well there’s been times that we haven’t talked for a day or two… but 4 days… that’s a bit much… you think I should call him eh? I am trying to be openminded… but if someone hasn’t died in his family(God forbid) or something really terrible happened… you think any excuse is good enough that he doesn’t care enough to call and say wassup? I’m trying to be patient… cos I really like him and wouldn’t want this to end right now… we’ll see how things go…

@Beautifully Human: You’re right… and I’m not trying to blame myself cos I know I didn’t do anything wrong… but this is highly weird for me… if I liked him any less… I’d have cut him off a long time ago… but I’m too involved now… but I just have a funny feeling this is the end of the road. Thanks though luv

Anonymous said...

Babe dnt give urself high BP 4 nothin.u can't knw wats on his mind if u dnt ask him.mayb he has some issues 2 deal wit n needs u to be there 4 him.so just cal him.
Angie

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Angie: I hear you babe… I’m thinking of doing that… just getting my thoughts together(boy I never thought me Overwhelmed would ever get down to this level man… this sucks ass!)

Anonymous said...

Babe, please call him ... he's your boyfriend, if you don't hear from him, you call him.

While I think he should have called you, even if just to say he'll be awol for a while, I honestly believe he's got a good reason. Girl, where's the faith? The boy called you at 5am to tell you he didn't think your relationship was working, I'm pretty sure he would have let you know if he wanted to break up with you.

Good luck, pick up the phone and call him! If only for your own peace of mind.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Vickii: That’s exactly why I wanted to not worry cos I figured he’d tell me if something was wrong… but babe 4 days… that one no too much? I’m guessing I shouldn’t let it turn into 5, or 6 or 7. I really hope he’s got a good reason… I hope so for both our sakes… cos a part of me is telling me that he thinks we’re over but just doesn’t wanna tell me because he thinks if he calls me ‘we might be able to sort things out… and he just doesn’t want that anymore’… I don’t know… my mind is a maze right now… like you have no idea!

Anonymous said...

Awww, I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling right now. It just doesn't add up, one second he's telling you how much he feels for you and sitting on the other end of the line while you drink tea and the next he's not calling for four days???

I really believe that there's a good reason and you guys will make it through this but please, make sure you give him hell about this, going awol for 4 days and making you worry like this really isn't on!

Good luck again and please call.

chainreader said...

i think you should call. but am sure you know what's best for you, what will work for you. there's no formula for relationships. sometimes, you try to be careful, not wanting to seem too pushy, and you end up missing out on being there for your friend when he really needs you.

you don't know, he may be going through something, and is a bit reluctant to talk about it. guys can get like that sometimes. wanting to handle it on her own and all that. call him. ask him to lay his cards on the table. let him know he is hurting you by holding out. whatever it is, even if he thinks it's not your problem, is having an effect on your relationship. he'll probably spill.

ps. being the vulnerable one is not always a bad thing.

hope everything works out good.

one big hug for you. seems like you need it!

Biodun said...

I will say call him already n find out wassup, I dont think I will last 4days o, I so would have called.

zaiprincesa said...

babes,
dont jump to any hasty conclusions. It could be that he's going thru something and he doesnt know how to "let you in". So, call him, and see if he's ok, but to avoid making things worse, dont go flip-mode on him.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Vickii: I think I will call him tonight if only to know what on earth is going on and how things stand between us… I really hope my worst fears aren’t confirmed

@Chainreader: Thanks for the hug… I hope it works out iite too… if not na serious heartbreak over the Christmas period!!!

@Biodun: its been hard not calling but I think I will today if he doesn’t holla… I just have a terrible feeling babe… I really do

@zaiprincesa: I’ll try… I won’t go flip-mode but this is just putting me through the wringer forreal… I hate it!!!

Anonymous said...

ONB - Call him. I know what it feels like. If you don't know what's going on - call him, ask him and rest your mind. High b.p. is not your portion oh. Just pick up the phone and call him. I don't think he's stressing out about you not calling him.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say... I would call him.

Hugs and Kisses dear.

I hope things work out.

Anonymous said...

wowww...dude's taking u on a rollercroaster forreal...i think he's messing with ur feelins to see where u at...yawl drama has always been a test of faith... good luck but i think homeboy's trying to b ahead a the game... dam jamaicans...interestin tho

Anonymous said...

ok i was too impatient to read all the comments cuz i wanted to drop mine, but everyone seems to be saying call him, AND YOU SHOULD! i mean, so he was acting weird. Its ok, maybe he's going thru stuff and he can't talk about it for whatever reason- your life'l be threatened or something lol(God forbid). Call, jus to make sure he's ok. And make it a point to send a text or something, everyday till he tells you to back off if you'r bugging. maybe he needs you to be there .. ..
At least if its bad news, if he's cheating, you'll be a bit justified-at least you tried. but you'll feel horrible if you find that its something really serious and you weren't there..
If its a test u might be pissed but at least u know your love is still there. Remember when he wasn't sure you really cared? Prove it now.
Damn now my comment is jus as long as everybody else's!
like soul would say, be well babe.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Naija Sapphire: Amen @ the not having high b.p. thing… I do deserve to know whats going on… and I guess if he’s not calling to tell me… I should call and find out my damn self

@LondonBuki: Thanks sunshine… I really needed those.. I hope they do too… or this will be a sad Christmas indeed!

@Anonymous: yes he is… that is exactly what I think… I just hope he’s not being like every other guy and playing unnecessary games cos I could do without those and have been honest and straight-forward this whole time with him… I guess I’ll find out when I make the first move… thanks.. and lol@ them Jamaicans… na really them Jamaicans!

@JadedKiss: I’ll call him tonight(I think)… maybe you’re right and he needs me… my heart tells me to believe that… but my head tells me different… Thanks sunshine… I needed that… hope school’s going good… una dey write exams?

nosa101 said...

I think it's because I spoke to him..........he he. Why are you worrying? You sound like you are ready to fight if tere's someone else involved? I am too lazy to blog jo, I'll resume next year. I'm still trying to get over how white my roomate is.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Nosa101: Lmao… I’m a lover not a fighter… oh my gosh I think I’m about to call him… dang… I haven’t been this nervous since I got my first period.. you berra blog b4 the new year!!! you haven't even told me what i'm getting for Christmas!!! lol@ your white roommate… tell me more tell me more!!!

ms. may said...

I FEEL YOU.....I truly do.

Anonymous said...

Honey! Hmm I would suggest you shouldnt start being paranoid.. You know he feels you and u do him! Lets give him some chance, call him up and talk to him. Power of dialogue works better than presumption, hun!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Ms. May: Thanks mami

@Naijadude: Right?

Anonymous said...

eiya, probably left you! no wonder he slept with you d last time. prob bored, this is what happens when u have *** ** ******** .he's sucked the orange juice tire hun so nothing left....huhuuhuuuuhahhahahahahhahahaaaaaaaa. call me mean? its ok. i hate your blog! abuse me! odeshi(e no go enter)!!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Anonymous: I could write you a very long and very detailed comment… but since you ‘hate my blog’… I’m guessing you won’t be back here… so in the mean time all I gotta say is thanks for stopping by regardless… don’t forget to shut the door on your way out!!!

Mphae said...

i know how you feel. there are times when my boyfriend can't put into words how he is feeling and that disrupts the flow of us. Normally, I freak out too and start thinking it's over and what not, but he usually comes around, You just have to wait it out, there is probably something going on that he is not ready to talk about, most times with my boyfriend it's so trivial it's unbelievable, i almost want to slap him after he comes back and tells me what was making him upset, but i guess this is the way it is, I would call him and tell him that you are worried about him, worried about what is going on with him and that I hope he is okay. Just to let him know that you are still thinking about him, and then you will have to wait for him to come around. He'll come around ONB, he will. Stay strong, stay busy so you have stories to tell him when he does come around, dont let it get to you, It's so hard to do but you have to let him know that you can stay strong even when he can't be.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Mphae: I called him Mphae and I’m not even in the frame of mind to describe what a big baby he is… it’s a relief and a pain!!! I’ll just write it in my next post I think… I’m processing a couple of things and I’m seeing him tomorrow so a lot more should make sense after that. That’s what I’m continually trying to be… a strong woman!… sometimes I’m successful and other times I’m not… but I won’t say it hasn’t been a great learning process so far!

Anonymous said...

who is that other anonymous.you are so evil. spewing venom.you must have an unhappy life to taunt others so when they are down.please keep your horrible comments to yourself. OWN there will always be haters.Ignore them. Many of us love your blog and are rooting for you.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Anonymous: My dear no be small oh…you hate my blog and you waste your time following my stories… my life… What’s the point? Or he/she/it continually comes back and reads just to show how much they hate it?! Talking about I should abuse them cos it won’t work… what a waste of words that would be. Anyways This anonymous thanks for your kind words… I appreciate them… God bless you

Anonymous said...

that hater was talkin about its life xperience... whatever it it... its madddd...i aint mad at it...its all luv 4 OWB...

Anonymous said...

Oh boy, I dont know whta can explain such a behavior though. Its ok if he wants to be alone, but is this a 1 time event, or will it happen everytime somethig goes wrong? love is hard to deal with, its a risky business.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Anonymous: Thanks luv… same love goes to you

@Naijalove: lol…na really risky business. I saw him today and we’re dealing you know… thanks tho…

chainreader said...

lmao@ anonymous 4. hear him/her/it

anony: i don't like your blog. in fact i hate it. that is why i read each post, follow every happening in your life. it's cos i hate it sooo much. true. seriously! how else would you have me show how much i hate this blog? what? did i hear you say i should stop reading it? eeh? so what will i be doing with my boring life if i can't read about and hate on ONB?

me thinks you protest too much. you like her. it's not a bad thing. we all do.

Anonymous said...

i have been a silent fan for so long . its great to finally write something. I think you should give it time. He might be working through somethings.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@chainreader: Thanks sunshine…I really appreciate that

@confusednaijagirl: Thanks luv.. welcome to blogsville… can’t wait to read more from you(shebi I already told you that you ‘took my original name’!!!… but no worry sha… I no dey vex you!)