Tuesday, November 21, 2006

What a weekend

It started out great you know…


On Friday evening, my boyfriend came over… we hadn’t seen each other in about a week so you could imagine how it went down. He kissed the daylights out of me from the moment he stepped in the door… and proceeded to give me the pussy lick of my life. Homeboy turned me the fuck out… I mean four separate orgasms in one night. My legs were wobby as fuck after… it wasn’t even funny!!! I mean I don’t think anyone’s feasted on ‘me’ like that before (lol… pun intended!)


I took a shower and we slept naked… like babies!!! I was knocked out for almost 10 hours…


I woke up early… took a shower and just as I was putting lotion on my back… he lifted me up, plopped me on the bed and…. TURNED ME OUT AGAIN!!!


I went and took ANOTHER SHOWER and just gave his ‘member’ a good talking to… mommy was tired!!! Lol


Later in the afternoon he took me to the mall and got me this sexy ass faux fur knee-length winter trenchcoat, some groceries and went home.


My friend’s man was having a birthday party at a club so I went over to her place and with other close friends we just gisted and had fun catching up before dressing for the party (you know it gets when a couple naija girls get together in one room). Apparently in our group there’s a new term: “Overwhelmed’s Workout Plan”… anybody who starts having sex either for the first time or after a dry spell is apparently on “My workout plan”… lol… I mean I always knew I’d be famous… but I thought it would be for my cleavage, writing, my makossa moves or my bow-legs… I didn’t know it would be for my ‘workout plan’… lol (but I accept the honour sha)… oh and apparently I’m the go-to-person for little little sex tips… Gosh... when did it get to this?!?!?! Hehe… but I’m always a good sport sha and it was fun describing my new favorite ‘elevated doggy style’ among other things!


So we all got dressed and just looked absolutely smashing (if I do say so myself)…. B was in polka dot glory, K was looking too sexy in her halter, I was doing boho chic and E was rocking the fuck outta those gold heels!!! Our cabbie was an asshole and kept getting lost and still counting on the meter… ASSHOLE!!! His excuse was that we’re sexy so we should have no problem paying… ASSHOLE!!!!! Suffice to say... he got no tip!!! hehe


We got there too late so our friend wasn’t able to get us in and I just found out I’d left my Id and purse at home… Thank God my girl had an extra one and we kinda look alike. It was an old school and reggae party… and we met up with almost 30 of our friends there… it was pretty much an overwhelmed and co. party at the damn place… we Livened up the JOINT!!!


Fuck fuckers that try to grab your fucking booty when you’re on the dancefloor or ones that if you manage to dance with you want to bend you over… I look like your bitch?!?!? Nigga back off!!!


So anyways… me and my crew just killed it there and you should’ve seen your girl Overwhelmed jumping up and down in 3 and a half stilettos like they were runners… My feet paid the price for two days after that!


Lmao… my South African friend fell on her face when me and her were dancing… but she played it cool sha… I think the people around probably figured the ‘push-up’ was part of her dance routine… lmfao!


We left the club at almost 4am… we were worn out but it was sooo worth it… we had a complete blast… I mean almost 30 African friends together… we were just causing ruckus… doing the electric slide, dances that we’d improvised earlier, dutty whine, whine down low… soca jumps.. Michael Jackson moves circa 1989… just everything


After the party, walking back to our car… I saw this old friend DD that I knew at this place I used to work last 3 years summer… I gave him my number cos he was cool and we could catch up. DD was a fool back in the day though… he was talking to my best friend Naijadyme and never even told her he had a serious girl and child… lol… imagine Naijadyme’s surprise when his baby mama called her because she’d seen her number on her man’s phone… lol… suffice to say my gurl never talked to him again!!!


Anyways… it was funny to see the person DD was with. Some blue contact wearing Naija guy that tried to pick me up 2 or 3 years ago when I was with his best friend… yup you heard me… HE WORE BLUE CONTACTS>>> DANG! I mean granted… he’s handsome…but you’re dark, you’re black… where do you get off wearing blue contacts?!?!?! And please don’t mention Blu Cantrell right now abeg. Also, he’s a definite 419’er… with terrible pick-up lines… I mean who on earth tells a girl “come and talk to me by my lexus”… lol… you could’ve said car or even just tried to talk to me right there… FOOL!!!


I got home and I couldn’t feel my toes, my fingers…nothing… the boyfriend called me and I told him to come over on Sunday and give me a foot massage and he agreed.


On Sunday, he came over, I made us some rice and cornbeef stew and we just watched this funny naija movie “The prince” with Nkem Owoh and Pat Attah… lol… he’s getting seriously into Naija movies and everytime he complains about our ‘terrible movie soundeffects’… I ask him if Jamaica even has a movie industry… lol... I know... touché


Anyways… he gave me the massage and we chilled but to be honest I wasn’t really in a good mood cos I’ve been going through a lot of stress you know… from family to ‘school stuff’ to issues I’m having with one of my best friends (that I might talk about in another post).


He kept trying to find out what was wrong but I wouldn’t talk about it… and I know I was rude or whatever… but he already knew I was dealing with a whole bunch of shit at the time (and still sorta am!). I haven’t talked to my mom in almost a week and he kept trying to tell me to call her and going on and on about it… so I told him off( I mean I'm obviously gonna call her just let me be for a minute won't ya?!?)


He left an hour or two later and called me on his way home… AND KEPT GOING ON ABOUT THE SAME ISSUE… so I hung up cos I just couldn’t stand it anymore… I mean I’m stressed out… don’t add to it


I missed his call later on that night and his message said he’d call me the next day… so I was surprised to hear him call me around 3.53am(funny how I remember exactly the time)… He wanted to break up….


WHAT?! WHEN?!?!?!?! HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? … No… seriously… WHAT?!?!?!

{To Be Continued}



NB: I read a write-up on Nosa’s page about ‘Western Infidels’… which to him has to do with homosexuality, promiscuity, sex, money and religion. I’d love for y’all to read his page and tell him what you think about the topic… and he especially wants to hear My Jolene- Naijadude’s opinion on it… but y’all go there and contribute your two cents… I think he has an 'interesting' point of view.

42 comments:

zaiprincesa said...

ok, im first...will be back to comment..

zaiprincesa said...

Glad 2 see u had a blast goin out wif ur girls...and the "pre party treats" u recieved from ur boo..;)...hmm..lol..u dey gbadun oh...But its so funny how a little miscommunication can lead to "we need to break up"..ahn ahn!...He's gonna have to learn to be patient with you and understand ur moods...even though we women can run a saint mad sha..lol..But Communication is key..Dont worri, he'll come around...Once you go overwhelmed u can never go back, abi?;)...But i want to hear the rest of the gist sha

Anonymous said...

what the fuck is the workout plan?
what do you think happen why he'd break up

Ineka said...

I'm jealous! 4 Orgasms in one night? I heard about them Jamaicans.
I've perfected the art of running in 3 inch stilletos..ask about me. :D
LMAO @ Negro with the blue contacts...whaaaaaaaa?

Aniwoos..hurry up and finish this jist jare. Break up ke???

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Zaiprincesa: lol… trust me… the party and the ‘pre-party’ treats were excellent… hehe… My dear ehn… the thing no easy at all… this one na really miscommunication… lol… tune in to NTA for your next update starring Rita Dominic as Overwhelmed and Jim Iyke as the boyfriend… hehe… you got that right oh… once you go overwhelmed you never go back… it don’t get no better!!! Hehe…

@Anonymous: Lol...the workout plan better pass Jane Fonda and Tae Bo trust me… Overwhelmed’s special workout plan promises to relieve stress, body aches and body tension… lol… also you will focus better on school, your job… anything… e effective well well trust me… lol

@Ineka: lol@ what you heard about Jamaicans… my dear na serious record oh… On the real your girl could not walk straight after man… I was seeing serious stars man!!!... but would I do it again?!?!?... HELL YEAH… lmao!.. My dear me and you dey for the same boat… I’m seriously addicted to stilettos.. the main reason I was in pain after Saturday night was because I’d worn heels to the mall and shopped for hours… My dear the blue contacts on a black man (naija for that matter) big pass my power oh!... My dear the breakup issue.. no be small.. and oh remember I was saying that I felt like I’d seen your name somewhere… I think I figured it out… from Mphahlele’s page… you’re on xanga right? cos I think I tried to comment on your page but bloody xanga wouldn’t let me!!!(it’s you abi?!?!?)

nosa101 said...

My interesting opinion eh? LMAO
Naijadude hasn't read it yet

Anonymous said...

He wants to WHAT??? How are you doing? I hope you sorted it out ... Please dont get that stupid pride hangup girls have - beg him back if you have to (well that's assuming you want to ofcourse)

reen said...

oh no he didnt....hope everything works out maybe he's just pulling ya legs lol.
haha didnt know there was a "workout plan" thats hilarious...umm where can i get a copy of the "workout plan";)

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@nosa101: lol… it is interesting to say the least my dear. Nah… he hasn’t… I’ll call him tonight and get him to read it!

@Noni Moss: My dear… The pride thing warred with my liking with the guy… but the truth won! Lol… try decoding that!!!

@Reen: pulling my legs… that one na really expensive joke sha! Lol… the workout plan sweet no be small… babe have you subscribed and/or renewed your membership… you know you have to pay annual levy now… I accept Interac, Mastercard, Visa… but I prefer cold, raw cash…

Vera Ezimora said...

He did what? Just when I was starting to get an orgasm! How dare he?!

Girl, I cannot believe you're still promoting that your work out plan. Remember when you tried to 'do it on me' and I told you you're soooo not my type? Well, you're still not my type! So stop comin on 2 me!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Vera: lol@ starting to get an orgasm… you’re not serious oh lady!!! The workout plan is good jare… and don’t get it twisted oh… I told you that I wasn’t ‘curious’ but you kept complimenting my calves… so I couldn’t resist… I mean when I saw you winking at me with your green eyes… I thought you were trying to give me signal… I didn’t know you were just trying to clear some dust from your eyes… lol.

Freaky Deaky said...

LOL @ come talk to me by my Lexus. Did he "accidentally" drop a wad of cash while he was digging in his pocket for something?

Sorry to hear about your man wanting to break up.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Freaky Deaky: lol… you know the type… he’s sooo like that… the next time I saw that dude was at a Nigerian party… you should’ve seen the amount of cash he was carrying around… trying to show off… arrogant fool…

The Mistress said...

ROFLMFAO @ "the pussy lick of my life."

I love those!

I'm glad somebody's enjoying some quality cunnilingus around here!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@The Mistress: lol… what girl doesn’t… I was in heaven trust me… but I won’t rub it in seeing as you might not be seeing Mr. K for a while… lol… but dang… it was sum great ‘eating’… lol

azuka said...

Pretty interesting. Does the bow-leg attraction have any relation to you having a set?

So we're looking at a breakup? I wouldn't say I'm too surprised. I've never had a boyfriend but I've studied my friends who have and I've noticed one thing: having a girlfriend you love and her not telling you 'what's wrong' when you see her in trouble is tantamount to the existence of a lack of trust for you on her part.

That's probably why he kept trying to find out. You might also have overestimated how much he knows about the stress you're going through.

Go after him girl... Men do find the chase exciting -- especially when it isn't them doing it.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Azuka: lol… I don’t even know how it started… I just remember from when I was 13… I used to like this guy who had bow-legs and after that… it just became my favorite thing in a guy… I mean I only realized about 4 years later that I have bow-legs myself… lol. I guess when I like someone… some aesthetic of them starts to have some allure… so I look for it in other people even after them… I mean my next favorite thing after bowlegs is pink lips… and now its……. Lol@ never having a boyfriend… you’re too funny… that would be quite interesting I think… hmmm… I wouldn’t say not talking about stuff means you don’t trust em… maybe you need to sort of give the issue a think over first and sometimes you’re just not in the frame of mind to speak about it yet. Lol… Go after him eh?

TaureanMinx said...

Girl what a vivid recollection LOL. He wants to what?? Wow over something so trivial, guys do it tooo though! Lets know what happened

angie said...

Here was i smiling and saying to myself that OWNB had a lovely weekend and u just had to drop the bomb that ur boo wants to breakup!!
I m sure he was pulling ur legs, so did u guys resolve the "issue"??

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@TaureanMinx: My dear… help me ask the guy sha… no be small…

@Angie: lol@ my lovely weekend… it did start out pretty awesome didn’t it… he wasn’t pulling my legs oh… I know… definitely caught me offguard… I for talk say na April Fools Joke if we weren’t in November.

bhookey84 said...

wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

BabaAlaye said...

No mind the Bobo na Shakara.

But if after 2 days he doesn't call. "Oya on your knees and Beg"
Beg him in Yoruba lol.
4 big "O's" in one night? Ko easy my dear.

Soul said...

first i have to say...
it's nice to get some lol.

erm and secondly, the Jamaican movie industry might not be as big as ours (obviously Jamaica is a tiny island compared to Naija) BUT there movie industry is MILES BETTER, light years ahead of ours.
Ever watched 'dancehall queen'. Yeah we'll talk about the Naija industry when the direction and cinematography can be even a pinch near to that 10 year old Jamaican movie.

on to other things
hmmm..
aburo. it can be soo frustrating when you don't talk.. it almost implies.. you don't trust me.. after everything you still don't trust me to talk to me.
something is bugging you that's affecting our communication. and you don't want to talk about it.

And if this happens frequently it's going to cause a ruckus.
Forewarn him, let him know that sometimes you get into these moods or on a downer and the best thing to do at that point is leave you be.
He can't read your mind about this.

Oh and honey, hanging up on him. Nope. Not good. You need to apologise for that.
you guys are in a relationship, if you expect him to patiently listen to you when you are 'dealing' then give him the same level of respect and listen to him. If you don't want to.. inform him, tell him that you can't process right now.

I know we are all bound to throw temper tantrums sometimes, but the hanging up thing...?.

No baby, I love you... but I gotta tell your cute bowlegged ass..
'you get a yellow card for that'.

I hope you guys sort things out if thats what you both want.

(now I've gone all serious and worried, I can't make jokes about giving and getting head... hmmph!)

Discombobulated Diva said...

always fun having a girls nite out...

yeah, hanging up on him wasn't cool... that's personally a deal breaker for me...
but, I need you to complete this jist asap... why was he trying to break up... i hope you guys were able to work things out sha...

~DD

Vickii said...

Your weekend sounded perfect up until that phonecall! I'm sure he doesn't want to break up and he's just trying to get your attention or make you prove that you appreciate him. Maybe when you've got stuff going on, you are a bit dismissive towards him and he's reacting to that? Please dont' break up because you guys sound perfect together!

Oh and that's the difference with guys and girls, you can talk to your girlfriends about problems and they'll just listen, but guys feel inclined to fix it or at least help to fix it, don't be too hard on him!

Good luck!

UnNaked Soul said...

LMAO @ 19boi with no game. and your S?X jist is so hot! and i await the sequel... funny enough I had a dejavu when I was reading this piece, it seem like I've read it before, and from you... or maybe it just my mind playing tricks on me again...

the sequel and in detail please... in warri dem say if you wan chop frog, make you chop big one, so that when dem dey count people wey chop frog dem go fit count you... meaning: gist everything in detail... and no, am not a perv, am just a 1 or 0, do or don't, and if do, do 100%. LOL

how has your week been?

blog on!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@bhookey84: wow sounds just about right

@BabaAlaye: lol @shakara and the big “O’s” in one night… my dear we dey try! Lol the Yoruba thing just reminded me of one of my sexual fantasies… to have sex in Igbo!!! Lol… what’s the chances of that happening?!?!

@ Soul: Egbon abeg we will keep that Jamaican industry better than ours talk on this blog oh… I won’t hear the end of it from him otherwise… lol… Now I wanna watch this ‘dancehall queen’… cos I think the only Jamaican movie I ever watched is umm… those passa passa dance videos and all I’ll say about those is hmmmm… Girls doing splits and shaking their rumps to Beenie Man isn’t exactly my idea of great cinematography although I’m sure the boyfriend and every other male out there thinks different… lol….. hehe@ getting some… its more than nice oh… lol. It hasn’t happened often that I’m too engrossed in stuff to talk to him… so it surprised me that the first time it happened he got like that… (but that’s something to keep in mind for next time right). I did apologize for hanging up… I was just frustrated at the time.. not a good excuse… but I did tell him I was really sorry about it after that. Lol@ your jokes about giving and getting head (those are always good… and VERY WELCOME ON THIS BLOG!!!.. hehe).

@Discombobulated: Yes mami.. girls night outs rock!!! I hear you on the hanging up thing… it’s not a habit but I plan not to do that again cos I wouldn’t like it if he did it to me either right… lol@completing gist.. babe you of all people don’t even talk at all… you that your own gist stretches into part 5 is complaining.. STOP THAT!!! Lol… my dear I think he found himself a blonde girl (lol… just playing)… I’ll put the rest of the story up today or tomorrow cos its too long to get into in the comment section

@Vickii: Yes… it was perfect up until that phonecall!!! I’m not particularly dismissive… but more ‘not-inviting-him-in-it’. My dear no be small with guys trying to fix every problem… I’m learning as I go along sha… it’s been an interesting journey to say the least!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@UnNaked Soul: lol… the 419 boi and his blue contacts are just not serious jare don’t mind him! The Déjà vu thing… hmmm… I think the only gist that came close to this was about 2 or 3 months ago… the post I wrote titled ‘Being Friends with the man of my dreams’… the one where I was being stupid and pretended I wanted to break up with him I guess to test his reaction and it sorta backfired… that’s the only similar thing but this one is real cos it was serious! But I think part of it is your mind playing tricks on you.. shebi I told you to stop drinking palm wine after 11.39pm… it does things to your medulla!!! Lol.. just playing luv. The detailed sequel coming up quickfast: lol@chopping big frog… I officially luv Warri People… them sabi better thing!!! My dear… the week has been good oh… just managing… I had been feeling sick and my body was tired/tense the ending of the weekend till about Tuesday… but I’m alright now…ADVIL LIQUIGELS ROCK!!! Hope your own weekend has been great too?

Anonymous said...

pussy lick of your life eh. very nice read....can't wait for the cont.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Zeyi: yes oh my dear… pussy lick of my life…can’t gush enough about that(pun intended… which is like my new favorite phrase now!...lol)

Omo Ibadan said...

ah ONB...just curious...do you live at home with your mom?

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Omo Ibadan: lol… I totally know why you’re asking that… nah… I don’t… I rent somewhere near my school from September to April (for convenience since I don’t drive) and move back home during the summers (lol… and yes… it becomes harder to get some during that period of time!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH)… hehe

Boso said...

Wow, that was a really graphic account, and I'm really hoping you guys didn't break up. It's obvious that you guys make each other happy.

Soul said...

Forget the dance videos...
I'm telling you naija cinema has NOTHING on Jamaican Cinema believe that.

you know when you watch Naija movies and the sound is dodgy, the lighting is crap, plot and character development is kinda gone to shit.. in the middle of a film you get an advert for something, you have all these dodgy scenes in the middle of nowhere....
And lets face it a lot of Naija films whilst enjoyable rely heavily on you being in on int. Let's not even talk about special effects... heaven forbid.

You cannot compare Jamaican production levels to this. Sorry they beat us hands down.

The movie dancehall queen is one of my favourites, beenie man's dance hall queen was a sound track and yep he had a small role in the movie, so did lady saw and Cheverelle Franklin (okay what can I say i love ragga). BUT this movie is the dope!!!

You will love it! what region dvd's do y'all play over in 'canucks'???.

oh and the head jokes... honey.. nah.. think I'll flip...
I just had a vision of sitting at the edge of a recliner seat.. one leg on the arm, head flung back, chest arching out, one hand resting on the back of his head the other hand sort of running through your hair..

hmmm, I think I'm gonna go make a call. lol...

NaijaBloke said...

Duh!!! he even called back to break up ..Olorun onije ..call back after u hung up and me ..Hell fucking NO!!!..

U r definately wrong to hang up on him ... U berra call his ass if u still want to have orgasms to talk abt.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Boso: lol@ graphic account… you’re right… we do make each other happy and it’d suck ass to miss out on what he have… friendship, romance and a whole lot of orgasms… hehe

@Soul: Are you serious?! Ok… I’m gonna call the boyfriend and make him get me a jamo movie to watch this one you’re so passionate about em! lol@ naija movie industry.. listen oh.. say what you want Egbon… but I will not give up my dream of being a world famous Nollywood actress oh whether you like it or not!!! lmao@ our special effects… na really out of this world.. the gunshots, the soundtracks, the foreshadowing… terrific stuff really… lmao… oh I’m gonna definitely check out this Dancehall Queen Movie… who on earth is Cheverelle?!?! I don’t even know this Lady Saw really… only remember she did one song (forget its name) and this other one with no doubt… do you really love me… but she’s the one who’s always masturbating on stage right?! I guess the Jamaican Lil Kim… lmao.. please don’t give me memories with this your vision oh… it’s funny cos I just had a feeling of déjà vu… I think I found myself in this position many times this weekend!!! hehe@ making a call… lmfao… you’re so BAD!!!

@NaijaBloke: lol… for me you will call back even against your better judgement (trust me on that one… lol)… I know I was wrong to hang up on him and its not something I plan to repeat… I’ll give you the full story in the part 2… which I’m almost done writing so I might put it up today if I finish other shit that I gotta do… hope the week is going great my dear

Anonymous said...

Wanted to do what? Break up? Not with my Jolene oh! Never!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Naijadude: lol…help me ask am oh!!! He knows he’s in trouble the next time he tries that joke again…. When I have My Jolene, Naijadyme, N, C, BL, D, T, J, B, K, I… in fact everybody… he’d be in BIG TROUBLE!!!

Uzo said...

Hmm. What is the matter? Me not liking this angle...

Anonymous said...

i justread ur post 4 orgasms in 1 night u better be suckin a mean dick to keep that boy i know i would haha lol

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