Sunday, November 05, 2006

Mummy Sunday 2

Inspired by one of my favorite bloggers LondonBuki, this is my second Mummy Sunday post!!! I dedicate it to LondonBuki’s mom who is recovering by God’s grace. My mom has been through so much, and in telling her story, I hope to learn from her mistakes and successes. I hope others are similarly inspired. God Bless All Mothers… They Make It Possible…!!!

I’m Sorry Uncle

Uncle I’m sorry that I didn’t listen.

I’m sorry that I rushed into it:

I know I was supposed to marry DK who was nice, down-to-earth, respectful and from a good family. I sort of liked him…. But then ‘Papa Overwhelmed’ came along; I almost didn’t stand a chance. He was just so charming, handsome, tall and intelligent. He was every girl’s dream man. All that and he ‘loved’ me!!! I resisted initially, but he was a pretty determined man if there ever was one. He just wouldn’t give up… he pretty much redoubled his efforts to win me over the more I shot him down; I eventually gave in.

We dated for a while, but he just wanted us to get married cos he’d ‘found what he’d been looking for all his life’. He had fallen in love with me, as I had with him.

I was glad you liked him uncle… My friends liked him too… though he did flirt a bit too much with them.

One of the happiest days of my life was when you gave me away to him in marriage cos my parents were in Lagos and couldn’t make it out to London.

When they eventually met and fell in love with him the day we traveled back to Nigeria… I felt as though life could never be better….

Life was a honeymoon… For a few months, love sang to us, played with us, tucked us away from the world outside and our souls were content with the music it made with us.

Then Reality Came Knocking:

He was so put together

What a façade

He was a lawyer

A smart, scheming and deceitful one

He was a diplomat

Lies! Lies!! Lies!!!

I found out he had lied to me about so much during our courtship… but I was 22 years old to his 30… so naïve and trusting.

Love blinds you to lies

I know you were livid cos you had let him marry me on the condition that he’d protect and build a home with me

The very foundation of our marriage was built on shaky ground!

Uncle I’m sorry that when I found out he had lied, I didn’t leave immediately like you said

Uncle I’m sorry that I had to go through pain… so much pain before I learnt the lesson you’d been trying to teach me all along

I’m sorry that when you continually insulted and belittled him, I cut you off from my life

I’m sorry that you never saw my kids after they left England

I’m sorry that they never got to know their amazingly kind and loving uncle

I’m sorry that you’re just a story to them now

I’m sorry that even after I divorced him, I was too ashamed to come back to you and say sorry.

I’m sorry for all the lost years

Uncle I’m sorry that I only got the courage to apologize one year before you died

Uncle I’m sorry that you’re dead

But I’m glad you got to hear my apology before you passed away:

I love you Uncle and I’m so sorry


Beautifully Human said...

wow! loving your 'mummy sunday' posts girl!

Mari said...

lovely post ONB! Hope your weekemd has been great!

LondonBuki said...

Awww!!! Well written... thank God she made up with him before he died.

Have a lovely week.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Beautifully Human: Thanks babe

@Mari: Thanks mami… the weekend has been great… very interesting actually… I think I’ll write about it in a few days actually… cos some ‘interesting’ things sorta happened!... hows urz going sweetie?

@LondonBuki: Thanks babe… I know… it is one of her life happiness’ as well that she got to tell him sorry in person… cos it all seems hollow if you’re saying sorry when he’s not around to hear it anymore!... Have a great week yourself . I hope your internet problem gets fixed ASAP!!! We don’t want to miss Mummy Monday’s or have you freezing ur ass off in a café!

Soul said...

overhwelmed, you know I'm reading this and if I changed your father's occupation then I would seriously begin to suspect some ish.. you feel me?.

The funny thing is, I see this is going to repeating itself in our generation as well.
Take a look around, and we are still putting up with rubbish...
We leave everything to 'God' and ignore obvious bullshit signs.
I'm sure you've seen it around the blogosphere as well overwhelmed.
How does it make you feel?
As for me, it's bloody heartbreaking.

Funmi said...

I am getting hooked on these 'mummy sunday' posts. Glad your mum found true closure.

TP said...

Nice "Mummy sunday" post. I know watching your mum's life and mistakes has made you more aware of life's complex relationships.

The Mistress said...

That was a very thoughtfully written post!

Open and honest!

Anonymous said...

wow...interesting. too bad we always think people don't love us when they tell us the truth. but time always reveals painful as they are. learnt it first hand one too many times.

thank GOD your mom came out of it and can enjoy her life now. unfortunately many african women just stay in there for their kids sake...

babe said...

I love these mummy sunday posts. Very imaginative. You know how to make your writing simple, but still heartfelt. TOTALLY AWESOME DUDE!!!(said like a surfer boy)

Angie said...

Nice "Mommy sunday post". hmmm wat did u say u r studying again, cos girl u know how to put life in every single word u write. Its like i was there the whole time. Thank God ur mama cld apologise to ur uncle.

Vickii said...

Like I've said time and again, I love you and Buki's mummy posts!

Most writers are either really good observers of people and their behaviour, or they have amazing imagination or they are able to manipulate words in a way that makes anything they write interesting but you have all three! I'm amazed at how well you put yourself in other people's shoes and write as if it were your own experiences!

Before your head swells too much, I love this and have a great week!

Uzo said...

Life deals us all tough hands. But its all a learning and growing experience. I would like to think that your mom is okay now right?

Very good stuff

Anonymous said...

Hey beautifully done. Glad your mum got closure and she's dealing ok.

Belle said...

thank God for closure :)
very well written!

Discombobulated Diva said...

as you already know... i love your writting style... nice post... keep 'em coming :-)... ~DD

TaureanMinx said...

Love your write ups girl. AWESOME.

zaiprincesa said...

uuuhhh....*sniff* sorry that your mum had to go thru that..but we live and hopefully, we learn and our experiences only make us stronger. Great Post Mami!

Naijadude said...

Sweetie, you know life aint a bed of roses, how we make it thru matters. Despite all odds, your mum is still ever glowing ;). Tell her I said she's cute...hahahah

My JOLENEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, fun times during the weekend but dont stand me up again oh!!!

Calabar Gal said...

Nice Babe!! I'm looking forward to more Mummy Sunday Posts.

NaijaBloke said...

ONB ..lovely post ... Hope ur weekend was good ...and I mean "Good" ..LOL

U have a nice week dear.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Soul: lol… I feel u my sister… I see myself in so many other people’s posts it’s uncanny! It is repeating itself in our generation cos we don’t acknowledge it… and when you don’t, you can’t fix these problems. Only a select few learn… and usually that’s after going through a lot of pain and heartache…. Whatever happened to prevention?!?!? I’m all for putting things in God’s hands, but didn’t God say somewhere in the good book that he only helps those who helps themselves? I’m glad my mom went through it so I don’t have to… trust me… I am looking into everything just to make sure… cos once I jump that broom…I would love for that to be it. If he hits me before we get married… it’s obvious he’ll do it more when I’m tied to him… “his property”. The negative stuff doesn’t go away once you marry the person… “IT BECOMES MORE DEFINED!”. It is heartbreaking… but the great thing is… having seen it ‘second-hand’, I have no desire whatsoever to experience it for myself… I believe God and good judgement… we should be fine! AMEN!!!

@Funmi: Awww… thanks for always stopping by babe

@Tp: Yes it has… and for that I’m forever grateful… I mean I don’t plan to live my life afraid… but I won’t ignore the ‘obvious’.

@The Mistress: Thanks babe

@Abbey: That is so true… but I guess in certain situations… experience is the best teacher… I just hope that wouldn’t be the case for the more painful experiences in my life… I’d like to just learn from hearing someone else’s story jare! Yes… thank God she did… she did stay in for the kid’s sake for a while… but you’ll read about that in the next mummy Sunday post… lol (how’s that for suspense?!)… lmao

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@babe: thanks mami… U ROCK DUDE!!!(lol.. said like a ‘TOTAL SURFER BOY”)… lmao.. girl that your obumneme story just killed me 4real!!!

@Angie: lol… na biochemistry we dey oh… I guess in the future as I get more into I’ll regale y’all with awesome narration of ‘cooking chemicals’ and ‘splitting stuff open’!!! How fun does that sound? Lol… yeah thank God for second chances eh!

@1982: Awwww… thanks babe! Hehe… I dey go buy bigger hat for my ‘already-big-head’… I appreciate babe… you too!!!

@Uzo: Yeah… she is. A better person for all she’s been through actually… but trust me the story is so much longer than this… we’ll go through every step… and hopefully learn something! Lol… cos we wouldn’t wanna be repeating the mistakes of the past would we?

@Noni Moss: Thanks babe… yea, she’s great!

@Belle: Yes oh… Thank God For Closure…

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Discombobulated: Thanks mami… I dey go your page self.. I haven’t been there in a few days… make I see which other discombobulated things you’ve been up to recently!

@TaureanMinx: Thanks babe… hope you’re having fun in Sweden oh

@Zaiprincesa: lol @living and hopefully learning… you’re soo right… thanks babe

@Naijadude: yes we do make it through matter… lol… I’ll tell her you said that… I’m so sorry that I took long to come oh… it was cos we had to go get “N” from “B”. it won’t happen again… THE DJ SUCKED ASSS!!! But it was fun regardless sha… I’ll call you later on tonight… if you’re not too busy cheating with soul!!!

@Calabar Gal: Thanks babe… have a great week… and plz don’t let hubby catch u doing too much blogging… lol

@NaijaBloke: Thanks my dear…. Oh my weekend was good actually… quite interesting… I think I gotta tell y’all about it later… i will have a great week… hope you do too.. and try to update ur blog more regularly abeg.. don’t leave us without jokes for that long plz!!!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

chai - men and their sweet mouth - And its so difficult to to see through the whole facade when you are in the thick of things. Only The Good Lord will save us. Great Post by the way - Im absolutly loving it.

Young and talented too - Have you ever thought of putting a book together - I know it will be a best seller. Take care Hun.

Anonymous said...

damn! i got to this post first but the razz connection no gree me leave comment. now i'm number 26!!
so annoying.
i dont have anything to say again joo they'v said it al.

Anonymous said...

ok lemme jus say, cyber sis and all, your mum is so strong.
you wrote this piece really well as always.

ms. may said...

As usual....stellar stuff! Already, with two posts, we have insight into where your strength and sense of humor come from. A good woman is always armed with strength and a sense of humor.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@The Life of a Stranger: lol@men and their sweet mouth… God save us all!!!... Thanks babe… lol… I start writing but then I get sidetracked or bored… I guess I need more motivation to see if I’m actually capable of any of that book-writing stuff!!! Maybe I should ask Vera what her secret is. Have a great week babe!

@JadedKiss: lol… I know… blogspot has been acting bummy for a day or two now… I wasn’t able to leave comment on many of my favorite blogs, as I guess they weren’t able to on mine! Thanks babe for stopping by always… I appreciate cycbersis mine!!!

@ms. May: Thanks sunshine!!! Great words from a Great woman… thanks a lot… really!!!

Biodun said...

Great post girl, deep stuff to, u have such a great talent!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Biodun: Thanks girl…

In my head and around me said...

I am learning, I truly am.

That no matter how many miles seperate us, we still all go through the same experiences.

That we should strive to learn from the experience of others as experience runs a very expensive and painful school.

That these are not just pretty stories designed to entertain.

Thank you ONB, I am hoping that one day soon, I will be able to be as frank as you.

UnNaked Soul said...

Am learning from you... truly deeply...

Copido said...

Gosh...the things women go through. I'm glad ur mum had the courage to move on. I'm loving the Mummy posts

Afrobabe said...

Glad ur mum eventually had the strenght to leave him....its not easy...loving your mumy sunday posts,man i'm gonna be here longer than I anticipated...