Thursday, October 12, 2006

My Jehovah Witness

My friends didn’t see why, but I used to be really crazy about you

You were only my height but that was tall enough for me

You were darker than I’m used to, but that was fine…

A little skinnier than I liked, but I could care less

You had a few crooked teeth, but I still loved to kiss you

I met my Jehovah Witness in my first year of university. My first memory of him was a shy guy who moved amazingly well to reggae and soca. It became a regular weekend thing for him and his boys to come over every Saturday. We’d all booze up, dance, eat, crack jokes. It was just the shit... LIVING AWAY FROM HOME ROCKED!!!

On one of those Saturdays, I’d gotten drunk cos I’d had a midterm earlier in the day and hadn’t had enough time to eat. My Jehovah witness took care of me and stroked my hair, cheeks (and maybe my boobs…lol) for hours on end. In spite of my constant puking, I felt safe and warm in his arms.

Everybody was sleeping over, but he had to leave cos he didn’t want to miss church the next day… I know… how sexy… a spiritual pin-up! I didn’t want him to leave… As the story goes… I kissed him… he kissed me… I was in drunken heaven!!!

He got my number from our friend and we started our ‘witness affair’

He couldn’t date cos it was frowned upon by his church especially as he was baptised. I didn’t mind that for a while… I mean we had a great thing going on and at least I knew he wasn’t dating another girl somewhere. He liked me, I liked him, I mean even a blind person could see that we were nuts about each other… I mean just mention his goddamn name and you’d see me smiling like someone who won the lottery.

He had an aura about him… his spirituality turned me on. There’s something to be said about a dude who’d no sooner kiss the daylights out of you than he’d start quoting the disciples in the book of Matthew. The only thing I didn’t like about the whole church thing is he always felt guilty… we would engage in a steamy make-out session and when we were done, he’d look so guilty cos I’m guessing even that was against the rules. I understood it to a certain extent, but I don’t think God is against people expressing affection… it’s not even like we ever fucked or nothing.

We talked on the phone for hours on end. Since we couldn’t date each other, he came up with an ingenious plan… no matter what happened to us at the time, in the future he’d find me wherever and marry me. I was willing to keep going on with the way things were… I really liked him so I stuck this thing out for about a year give or take a month or two. I mean I dated other guys cos I knew I couldn’t date him… I mean I still had to keep my options open. I thought I could change his mind with time, and of course I’d drop whoever in a hot second.

I could never give any dude my all cos my Jehovah’s Witness already possessed a big part of me

I felt guilty everytime I kissed another guy cos somehow he’d branded me

Once in a while I’d realize that things were not progressing between us and that I wanted more than he could give me… I just couldn’t find it in me to let it go completely. I’d cut him off for weeks and say it was over… but he’d apologize so sweetly and I couldn’t not take him back.

I was content in our ‘non- relationship’ for a long time… then I realized I wanted more- all or nothing… I cut him off again. I guess it was at the back of my mind that he’d call me back and keep apologizing and just make things right… he’d realize how much he needed me… how incomplete he was without me… how we could make it work even though he was a ‘Jehovah Witness’.

Then he went on a date with GC

that I introduced him to, GC my friend, GC who knew how it was with me and him, GC that fucked guys on the first date, GC that had had an STD 2 months ago!!!

My Jehovah Witness was a fraud!!!

He hadn’t been building something with me… he’d just been trying his luck to see what panned out for him… I guess GC did.

He has since called, emailed, texted me, had friends and cousins call to apologize and start over, but HIS CHAPTER IS COMPLETELY CLOSED!!!

I’ve attached a poem I wrote about the situation:

Unrequited Emotions

In every ones lifetime, there comes a time when you let go of old insecurities and give your heart to someone.

Sometimes they take it for what its worth, treasure it and keep it for as long as they can

And sometimes they trample on it and make a mockery of complex emotions

They realize the extent of your feelings and play on your heart like a puppet on a drawstring

They lure you in with loving words, sweet nothings as you are entrapped in a web of lies and deceit

They blind you with the dark light of false love

Your heart is on a string and your feelings are drawn thinner and thinner until one day... it finally snaps

You wake up one day and realize it was all a mirage

This person never really loved you; they just loved the reflection of themselves in your eyes

They liked the feeling of playing with your emotions and knowing how far you’d go for them

What a grievous day it is when you realize that love is nothing but a poison that seeps into your soul and infects your entire being. It changes everything and not necessarily for the better.

It locks you in a box with only one set of get- out keys

It creates a glow so warm that in its absence you can only feel numbness and chills.

But it is with this numbness of mind, body and soul that arises the inner strength to move on and rebuild your heart and dreams.

And then another person walks in with their vision of love and your walls come tumbling down again.


Funmi said...

This person never really loved you; they just loved the reflection of themselves in your eyes

WOW.........Thot that was deep.

superstar said...

life just a good

nosa101 said...

Can I laugh at your awful luck?

Azuka said...

Some people are wack...

Perhaps you should be grateful it didn't progress any further?

Maureen said...

gosh u write good poems that was really deep,love the poem!!!!
good thing u found out the guys true character....
lol this is just something to remember
guys are like port-o-potties. all the good ones are taken and all the bad ones are full of crap!

PS:did i tell u how much i love ur blog??? am officially addicted to it lol

Biodun said...

great poem, love the line funmi referred 2, we learn from our experiences!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Funmi: Thanks babe and welcome to the blogworld

@Superstar: lol… sure (although I’m not sure exactly what you said)

@Nosa: Lol… it is funny in retrospect… the luck I’ve had

@Azuka: Wack is the word… I am grateful cos I’d never have figured… on the real, I don’t really trust ‘churchy’ folks anymore… I mean if you’re a clubber/ worldly… at least I’d sort of know what to expect… but the church people can be masquerades sometimes.

@Maureen: I know, lucky me… I mean if he was still part of my life… I might’ve not given the boyfriend a chance… damn what I’d be missing out on right now… great romance and even better doggy-style.. lmao… I luv the port-o-potties simile… imma use that!!! hehe… Thanks babe… you’re far too kind.

@Biodun: Thanks my dear and yes ma’am… we do learn from our experiences… some more than others…

Noni Moss said...

Lolll - Oh no he didn't! Wait so he just wanted to sleep with you? that's what that year long guilt of "no, kissing is bad and against the rules" was just an attempt to get into bed with you? Wow.

Please tell me she gave him an STD. That would be fitting justice. :-D

Anonymous said...

the guy is stupid jare.

'they just loved the reflection of themselves in your eyes..' love that.

'it is with this numbness of mind body and soul that arises the inner strength to move on and rebuild your heart and dreams..'
you tell em sistuh!
i'm sure the guy even has odd 'ailments'himself.. its a good thing y'all didn't hook up, he might'v given u some'n nasty! lol.

UnNaked Soul said...

LOL! pele! sorry-oh! I like the way you sha narrated the tory oh.

I always say something "Nothing is absolute" and this as well "Our experiences defines what we feel and what we don't"

Its funny our the architect designed us. And funny how your story goes! Nothing last forever! Only the Creator does!

I like ur depth... no, I LOVE IT.
blog on!

Soul said...

religion, hormones and guilt.

Always a bad combination, I guess it's what happens when the natural order of things is being subverted by 'those who think they are the guardians of the gates of heaven' or by those who 'think' they are doing 'God's will'.

Uzo said...

Is it really so hard to be honest and straightforward with people? The games people not worth it

Naijadude said...

You did not write about this!! Just tell me I am reading someone else's blog!.....

We've already said it all, I guess not much left for me to say...
Just take care of my rival very well oh! homeboy's gotta stucked with Nigerians forever ooooooooooooo..

UnNaked Soul said...

Word Soul... Word!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Noni Moss: lol… Oh yes he did!!! See that’s the confusing part is I don’t know what it was all about really bcos I won’t even front… dude probably would’ve gotten some in that year if he’d acted right instead of playing unnecessary games. I’m not in communication with him but it’s a funny thought just contemplating how he’d explain an STD to his church. lol…girl you’re so bad. Strange thing is the babe is now pregnant for her cousin’s boyfriend… people self!!!

@JadedKiss: I know… he was a bloody fool… but like my boyfriend says… if he wasn’t, then maybe I wouldn’t be with the best guy I’ve met in a long time. Lmao @ getting odd ‘ailments’… I could only imagine

@unNaked Soul: Thanks babe… You’re so right… Nothing is absolute… Although it sucked at the time, I’m glad things worked out the way they did… “Our experiences define what we feel and what we don't"

@Soul: You summed it up in the best possible way: Religion, Hormones and Guilt… Looking back on it now… damn!!!

@Uzo: My dear… help me ask them. First of all… babe was my friend!… Second of all… babe was my friend!!… Third of all… babe was my friend!!!

@Naijadude: lol… I told you I’d write about this… hehe… He’s definitely having the time of his life with me… you suppose trust me now… next stop I’m teaching him how to dance to Lagbaja… lol

@ UnNaked Soul: I second that!!!

NaijaBloke said...

Hahhaaah ..Can I laff as well .. cos this is funny as hell..
He will feel guilty after a making out session .... thank God say thunder no strike both of una 2gether while kissing ..

Jehovah witness ma A** .. at least thank God u found out abt his fraudiness before u alrdy had some Jehovah witnesses running around ya home ..LOL

Icy said...

That asshole.... yah Chapter closed. I hope so!. cuz sometimes omo we be catching some soft spots for these men.


Calabar Gal said...

Babes, This comment's going to be Out of Point. Are you still interested in getting blogs listed on your side bar? I saw ur post on Beautifully Human's page asking for help. Here's a copy of d directions she got from me:

I discovered how to put links on my page after two whole months of cracking my brain and I must say am pretty pleased with myself.
Go to ur 'Edit post' page, click on 'Template', Scroll down the 'computer language' written there till u get to the 'Link' part and copy and paste the 'link' on that same page or the next line. Or u can edit the 'Link' by deleting the word and replacing it say with 'MY FAVOURITE BLOGS'. Copy & paste the 'Link' again to the next line and this time edit it by typing in the addresses and their names as you would want them to appear.

I hope it makes a little bit of sense to you. Good Luck!!

Poetic Justice said...

I guess we all have to experience betrayal of some sort. I hate to quote lines like this but "better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" Thanks for reading my blog.

Beautifully Human said...

I totally feel you on this one. In a way I'm glad I went through a similar experience (though not a jehovah's witness, lol!)cos it thought me to be a stronger, prouder person; as you rightly said
'it is with this numbness of mind, body and soul that arises the inner strength to move on and rebuild your heart and dreams.'
nice one!

Everchange said...

aww...but you were seeing other guys while he was waiting for you? or are you upset that it was ur "friend" he eventually hooked up with?

soul said it well- religion, guilt and hormones.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@NaijaBloke: Lol… no laugh oh… it wasn’t funny at the time… I swear these church folks…. eww@ little Jehovah witnesses running around

@Icy: My dear say it and say it again

@Calabar Gal: I’m gonna try that… if I have any questions I’ll put em up on your blog… Thanks babe

@Poetic Justice: I love that Lord Tennyson Quote... one of my faves and you’re right… It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all… I luvvv ur blog… but babe tell me for real… how many days you gotta countdown to your birthday for the gifts cos I very much like that idea… lol

@Beautifully Human: Thanks babe… this dude was a church fellow too? Hmmm… It’s hard to know what’s real anymore

@Everchange: Yeah… it was the fact that she was my friend, and also the fact that he was a church guy and he made it seem like he wasn’t about that at all… I mean if he could be sneaky about that… imagine what else! I know… Soul hit the nail right on the head

TP said...

(Completely unrelated to this post)

Wow girl, you were quick to discover my new blog! Thanks for the comment sweetie, my journey was an interesting one, so I thought I'd share it. I'll try to keep it updated often so I'm off to continue where I stopped....

rami said...

jehova's witnesses... nice but..