Sunday, October 29, 2006

Mummy Sunday 1

Inspired by one of my favorite bloggers LondonBuki, I’ve decided to start a Mummy Sunday post!!! It’s meant to document my mom’s life and history and celebrate her accomplishments. Her decisions have affected and helped mold me into the person I am today. I want to celebrate her cos she has faced almost insurmountable odds but with faith, hard work and determination, she made it!!! To be just half the woman she is today would be a blessing. The details of the great woman’s story might not be told in chronological order… but each entry should make sense in and of itself. Maybe I’ll publish a biography on her later… maybe I’ll include it in my future autobiography… or maybe I’ll just leave it here so y’all can read and know that no matter how bad it gets… there’s always a way out!!!

My mommy's on a diet

LOL LMAO LMBAO ROFLMAO

This woman is just too funny.

Mother mine wants to loose a couple pounds and on the recommendation of a friend went and got her a ‘nutritionist’. Said nutritionist came to her office two weeks ago and sugartalked my mom into buying a couple hundred dollars worth of ‘diet supplements’.

After the woman left, momsi realized she’d been swavved... but no one could ever accuse ‘mama overwhelmed’ of not being determined:

When she registered at the local gym for a year and almost collapsed on the treadmill on her first day there… did she quit? Nope… she never went back to the gym but kept paying her membership fees ‘just in case’!

When her younger daughter bought her a frilly thong last Christmas… did she throw it away seeing as she didn’t understand those ‘strings’? Nope… she just brought it out once every month to look at it, contemplate ‘thong science’ and put it back away!!

When she’d almost broken the aquarium last month trying to move it by herself… did she give up on the fish? Nope… she’d hired someone else to do it!!!

She’d do this diet thing dammit!!!!

Momsi’s diet is very strict… no potatoes, no rice, no fufu, no bread… I think it’s called a no-carb diet or something of that nature. She’s basically supposed to eat only fruit, vegetables, some meat products (I think) and her ‘supplement’ which as the name suggests serves as a meal replacement.

Didn’t sound too hard! lol

Momsi dearest did it the first day… no problem, but by the next day she was just absolutely miserable.

According to mommy, the nutritionist should’ve introduced her to the lifestyle when she was years younger so that she’d be used to it by now…Apparently, at this point it was just too too late!

So momsi’s nutritionist called her last night and I almost died laughing.

Background:
She had been ignoring all calls on her cell phone the entire evening but eventually picked up the house phone while enjoying some sweet fish peppersoup and jollof rice. She quickly dropped her fork and concentrated on the call:

Nutritionist: Mama Overwhelmed, how are you doing?

Momsi: Oh I’m great… just relaxing… but come oh… this your diet is hard oh!

Nutritionist: Don’t worry it’ll get better… so how have you been following it?

Momsi: Oh I just eat fruit and vegetables like brocolli, apples and others. In fact I just had carrots for dinner and that supplement. It’s really working!

Nutritionist: So what do you do when you’re hungry?

Momsi: I just drink water my dear…. It’s not easy at all

Nutritionist: So are you already seeing changes?

Momsi: yes oh… definitely… I can already see so many changes… even Overwhelmed thinks I’m losing weight

WHAT!?!?! Me Overwhelmed I said no such thing oh!!!…I don’t wanna be involved

ANYWAYS BACK TO GIST:

Nutritionist: oh k… that’s good… how many pounds?

Momsi: My children spoilt the scale but don’t worry I’m loosing all the weight… anyways I have to go… oh I just wanted to ask you before I let you go…. Can I eat nuts like peanuts, cashew nuts?

Nutritionist: No No No… that is not allowed in the diet… drink water anytime you feel a craving

Momsi: I understand… no problem at all… ok thanks Goodnight

Nutritionist: So you don’t have any questions for me about the diet?

Momsi: no thanks… I definitely recommend it.. it’s so great… I love it… in fact I’m going to get more water to drink... thank you soo much… goodnight

I almost collapsed laughing

LMAO… ROFLMAO…. Is this woman serious?! Since when did jollof rice and fish peppersoup become carrots and water? Momsi is just too funny

I started asking her why she did that… wouldn’t it be easier to just tell the woman the diet is not for her? Momsi was like:

“my dear I can’t be bothered… I wasn’t picking up my cell because I wasn’t sure if it was her or not. So because I told her I wanted to loose some weight, now she wants to put me on starvation diet?… if somebody sent her… abeg she should tell the person she didn’t see me!!”

LMAO

Momsi: FOOD SUPPLEMENT KO… WATER AND VEGETABLES NI!!!… anyways, she’s doing her job so I don’t blame her… I guess she needs my ‘diet commission’ to pay her rent this month…

Ehen, my dear… go and get me some almonds jare and don’t mind the woman…HOLLYWOOD DIET OSHI!!!

ROFLMAO…

This my mother self na wao… This one na really Hollywood Diet!!!

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol..ur momsi is gangsta. I don't blame her men...some of these diets are very unrealistic.

TP said...

LOL! Your mum sounds too funny! We all know how difficult it can be to stick to such strict diets. LMAO @ eating jollof rice while telling the nutritionist she was eating carrots :-)

Soul said...

I can't stop laughing!!. lol..

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@abbey: lol… the woman is just too funny

@Tp: My dear the ‘hollywood diet’ is not made for Africans…lol@ eating carrots… momsi is just living in her own world.. lol

@soul: lmao… you’d have laughed even harder if you were there… lol… it still cracks me up everytime

LondonBuki said...

Thanks ONB... :-)

I love your mum already!!! She is hilarious!

LOL!!!!

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

Overwhelmed i can see that mumsi no wan gree. Kai! i'm laughing seriously here, Abegi, i don't blame her jere, those diets aren't to be called diets but starvation techniques.

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
azuka said...

I'm beginning to get an idea where some of that crase came from...

Reen said...

lol ur mom's hilarious...i agree with ur mom the diet is kinda strict lmao @ starvation diet part

Naijadude said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Naijadude said...

Hahhaha "Overwhelmed"...na me go send the woman dis link oh!!

She's just way too funny!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@LondonBuki: You’re welcome babe… really hope your mama gets better so we can eat family pounded yam this Christmas.. AMEN!!! Lol… yea my mama’s just too funny forreal

@Bijouxoxo: lol@starvation techniques… that’s exactly what she thinks…

@Azuka: lol… no comment for your comment… cos if I do comment… that would mean that I gree say I dey crase small!!!

@Reen: lol

@Naijadude: LOL… no do oh cos along with this post… she’ll hear some of my ‘sexual secrets’… lmao

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

OH MY GOD... NAIJADUDE!!! i just checked my inbox and i saw that you mentioned my "GOVERNMENT NAME" on this site b4 u realized ur mistake... lol... no 'koba' me oh!!! lmao... i called u 2 give u shit but u weren't available... call me ASAP to recieve your punishment.

TaureanMinx said...

My muns the same, always on one diet or the other and she even recutis me to join her in her misery sometimes. Imagine me running to the bathroom after using 'herbal' tea that wrenches everything I eat from my stomach in spasmodic bursts lollllllllllll.

Angie said...

lol!!ur mom is really funny. I cant just imagine rinking WATER everytime i m hungry(i be came).

Angie said...

lol!!ur mom is really funny. I cant just imagine rinking WATER everytime i m hungry(i be camel)

Onya Baquebeich said...

your mom so gets it.
take care overwhelmed. Goodbye and God bless.

Noni Moss said...

Mothers! Gotta love them.

Vickii said...

LOL your mum sounds funny! You and Buki's mommy days are such a good idea ... make sure you tell her so she can read it, or at least print it out for her if you don't want her to read the rest of your blog! Lol

My mum is always on a diet too ... even though the woman doesn't need it! I think it's a mum thing, maybe like a club they all belong to or something.

Funny post!

jadedKiss said...

your mum is so cool! abegi all these diet things are not for the african minded jare. my mum is currently on her own diet oh. but she still eats her eba and stuff, jus doesn't eat past 7pm and stays off white bread and soda. maybe ur mom should try that..
i SO see where u get your crase! lol.

ChiefO said...

hahahahahahaha! overwhelmed join her in her diet now. u know how to act dont u. u'll act like her support system, cheerleader, supporters club, ati be be lo meanwhile u'll be eating ur own extra mede mede on the side.

Mari said...

Totally hilarious. Your mum is sooo funny. Lmao@ starvation diet...sounds just like my aunt when I sent her recent pics of me after I lost some weight and tried to explain the diet I went on.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@TaureanMinx: lmao@ ‘herbal tea’and spasmodic bursts… I can only imagine…lol

@Angie: My dear… neither can I!!! lmao@camel... No be small oh… these oyinbo diets self

@Ai’hammed: lol… yes she does!... Be safe babe and I hope you find everything you’re looking for… imma email you!!!

@Noni Moss: yes we do… lol

@1982: lol… I don’t think she wants to read that one oh… the only blog entry she’d wanna read is the one that says “Mama Overwhelmed lost weight while eating jollof rice instead of carrots and supplements”… lol. I do agree with the club thing cos almost all naija moms are just too funny, and the funniest part is that they don’t even know it!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@jadedKiss: lol… I no crase oh!!! Oh whao… ur moms diet self sound hard oh… no bread? I don’t think I can… I’m addicted to toast… soda I could live without (except if cranberry juice is considered to be soda…. In which case… no thanks!!)… my dear these diet things I could never do cos I’d never follow em and probably gain weight rather than losing it! Oh and I eat lunch at 6,7pm… lol… dinner’s usually @ midnight(I know… my eating habits suck ass)

@ChiefO: lol@ extra mede mede on the side… u know say I sabi do that one well well!!... I don’t know exactly how you support a woman who has a nutritionist but still chooses to eat whatever she wants… lol… abeg consult your engineering manual for some solution.

@Mari: lol… I know…the woman just cracks me up all the time!... lol… which diet oh?! Yarn us abeg…and congrats on the weight loss babe

Naijadude said...

Hhahah, I know say you go kill me. I unconsiously wrote that, I just came back to read am na hin I shout hahahah! I know you still loff me anyways!!

Anonymous said...

Great post about your mum. Looking forward to more Mummy Sundays.

Beautifully Human said...

lmao!! ur mum's too funny; the woman is just doing her own thing!!
As for the 'so-called' nutritionist, I wouldnt trust her as far as I could throw her. Her dietary advice is not the best, cos the minute you stop following it, you balloon to 10x your original weight. Hollywood diet? RUBBISH!

NaijaBloke said...

Like Azuka sd .. ya small crase definately came from somewhere ..LOL very funny and dont worry dear am back ..will put up a post later ..just trying to catch up on work after been off for like 5days now..

Funmi said...

lol looks like your mum and mine read from the same chapter. My mum is hooked herbal tea........u just have to love them though

adahope said...

Cracking up over here! Your Mom is Hilarious.

Mona said...

eeyaa ur mummy is cute!

Anonymous said...

how come im just seeing this post??..lol..i must be slacking...Ur moms KEEPS IT REALZ!!!...I c where u get it from...lol

Biodun said...

ha ur momsi reminds me of mine, she has used orisirisi diet supplement pills, both natural and unnatural, lol but for like 3 days b4 she goes back to doing the same ol' things,

Calabar Gal said...

LMAO! LMBAO!! ROTFLMBAO!!!
Your mum is just like our typical mum's cant resist rice and 'swallows' but want to lose weight. She should try liposuction now? It'll save her a lot of stress. Several Naija celebrities can attest to thim. My very own and dear Mma Florence Ita-Giwa included.

Uzo said...

Oh this is sooo hilarious. I feel for her though as i am always on one diet on the other. She should enjoy her life jare....

Vera Ezimora said...

LOL. She sounds like me. Seriously, what kinda diet is that? They wan kill the poor woman?!

africanprincess said...

lol. I dont blame moms jo, change isnt easy.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Naijadude: lol...don't think ur sugartalk is gonna make u escape ur punishment!!!

@Daddy's Girl: Thanks babe... check back for regular sunday sunday medicine.. lol.. im going 2 check ur blog.. cos i dont think i've been there b4...

@Beautifully Human: lol... which kind advice be that? drink water when ur hungry? WHO ON EARTH DOES THAT WORK FOR?!?!?! ur right oh.. any weight u lose doing this shit you gain back 10fold once you stop it...

@Naijabloke: lol.. i disagree with you and Azuka.. i no craze @ all.. welcome back babe

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Funmi: lol.. i think almost all naija moms just live in their own universe 4real.. lol.. my mom did the herbal thing too.. actually come to think of it.. i think she still might be combining it with this her hollywood diet... lmao..

@Adahope: lol.. i know eh!

@Mona: awww.. thanks babe

@Zaiprincesa: lol.. ur too late oh... lol... i no craze oh!!!!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Biodun: lmao@orisirisi diet supplement pills... exactly my mom!!!

@CalabarGal: Lmao... exactly my thoughts... liposuction ke? naija woman dey do that one?!?!? who is florence giwa?(abi have i been living under a rock 4 the past 20 years?).. i hear say our very own stella obasanjo died while gettin tummy tuck..

@Uzo: lol.. abi oh

@ Vera: Na "Original HOllywood Diet" lol

@Africanprincess: lol... nah it ain't..esp not 'starvation change'!!!

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Calabar Gal said...

I know Stella died while getting a tummy tuck thats why I gave you a living example of succesful ni/tuck operations. Mma Giwa is a very popular calabar politician, society lady, special adviser to OBJ, senator,......... She's officially '60' but looks every inch '40ish'. Ah trust Naija people now? Nip & Tuck is very popular there oh!! Ms Dupe Ozolua takes Ameriacan Surgeons to naija annually for Cosmetic Surgery and she's always fully booked. She has a secrecy clause though & dosent reveal who her customers are.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Your mum trully is a funny woman - Im sure you like to catch jokes at her expense. LOL.

Naijalove said...

sounds like my mom, when it shacks her, she brings out her pic from 17yrs ago like u see. Then she brings out pics when she was my age, like look I was skinnier than u are now.
What hasnt she trid? green tea? 1 meal a day? though I tell her the 1 meal is nonsense esp when its eba and soup.

Copido said...

lol @ ur mum munching carrots. Your mum sounds like a diva