Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a Naija guy bashing post… just my encounters. I’ve had some great and some terrible dating experiences, but all in all it’s been an interesting journey. Here’s the third and final part of the write-up:
Two months before I turned 20, I met KD at an African party… I looked hot and was dancing up a storm. At one point, I got too sweaty and went outside for fresh air, which was being ruined by some old men who were smoking their cancer sticks and trying to hit on me at the same time. A tall light skinned brother steps up to me and engages me in conversation with the very original “You look familiar”. I was in a good mood so I didn’t shoot him down… just gave him the digits so we could explore this ‘familiarity’. He was Igbo, 24, nice, handsome, funny and the first Naija guy whom I absolutely loved his accent. I ended up really liking the dude and he really liked me. We’d gone on a couple dates- dinner, movie, stripclub, lunch... you name it. We were like an unofficial couple(it was more of an unspoken agreement as I hadn’t officially said yes to him). This was the first and only naija guy I ever had sex with… it was uninspiring cos he thought he was the shiznit and just wasn’t. The only thing that wasn’t average about him was his fucking stomach… I just hated his belly rubbing against me for some reason. He was also very instructional in the bedroom which is a big turn-off for me… I’m all for letting the other person know what and how you want it… but when you’re a bloody drill sergeant… FUCK YOURSELF!!! That stuff also showed outside the bedroom; he was a control freak- had something to say about what gum I chewed, perfume I wore, my jewelry, clothes… just everything. I probably could’ve been sucked into his vortex if I wasn’t so damn independent myself. I think the problem was the fact that he knew I was Igbo and wanted me to have a ‘back-home’ attitude, which I saw no need for. I mean the first time we had sex, nigga wanted me to fix his bed after because he found it sexy when a girl did that.WTF!?!?!?! I told him how much hotter it was to me when a guy did that… lol... I know; we clashed. For some strange reason, we still liked each other, but after a while, it became obvious we would just argue each other out of happiness… we let it go. A month later, KD starts calling me apologizing; he wanted me back cos he’s fanatic about me and would love to make it up to me. I’d never gotten back with an ex and wasn’t willing to… but he wasn’t anything if not persistent. I eventually agreed to go on a dinner and movie date. It was an emotionally charged dinner. Afterwards, I thought KD was driving me home, but we ended up at his house… cos he wanted to ‘change’ for the movie…. Lol… sure, buddy (Fool me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, SHAME ON ME). His controlling attitude was still a turn-off… nah, I wasn’t going back for more. I still don’t return his phone calls or emails, but he’s probably the only naija ex in
At 20, I met TD at a Ghanaian party (lol… I know... me and African parties… I’m a self-professed Makossa addict). Homeboy was looking mighty elegant in white; he approached me at just the right moment cos this Ghanaian boy was disrupting my dance-flow. I could tell TD was a Lagosian when he started pulling out some serious Daddy Showkey and Baba Fryo moves… we rocked that dancefloor. He was 27, a master’s degree holder, excellent dresser, and all-around cute Yoruba boy ... only his accent left something to be desired. I gave him the digits and we started talking… damn, he was smart, funny, witty… he actually got my ‘intellectual jokes’ not just the clowning and dirty jokes. I liked!!! We went on so many dates… movie, lunch, bars, dinner you name it. we’d been casually dating for about a month or two and still hadn’t kissed… I just wasn’t sure that I liked him in that way. One day, a really ‘fateful’ day, he came to take me out... we had a blast… game arcade (lol... I know… I’m up for all sorts of fun), then a club. A lot of his friends happened to be there and were feeling your girl cos I was looking mighty fine if I do say so myself. Homeboy got jealous and started getting all possessive on my ass…hehe. Anyways, on our way home, nigga starts complaining bout he’s drunk. In my head I laugh: OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK… HE ONLY HAD TWO BEERS. I HADN’T BEEN DATING ALL MY LIFE TO FALL FOR THAT.
TD drove me 45 minutes home with no swerving or strange activity… but he’s drunk?!?!?! I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for a great evening
Damn, at 20, I’ve LIVED.