Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Nigerian guys that I’ve dated or almost dated

I’m 20, in a good place in my life right now with a good guy… I’m obviously not looking to get married anytime soon, so I’m just enjoying my relationship and open to seeing where it goes. My boyfriend is not Igbo, Nigerian, or even African. Most Nigerian guys that try to talk to you and hear that you ‘have a man’, try to discredit your relationship for ‘obvious reasons’:

· He’s a foreigner
· He can’t take care of you
· He won’t understand you
· He’ll just use you and dump you for his kind eventually…
that sort of rubbish.

This implies that on the contrary, Nigerian guys commit to and marry every girl they date. Because I’ve heard this same yarn a lot recently, it sort of got me to thinking about naija guys that I’ve known, liked and/or dated, and how they’ve “understood and taken care of me”:

At 13, JC was my first boyfriend. The second cutest boy in my school really liked me. He held my hands and walked me home from school everyday, sang to me and wrote me poetry. He convinced me I didn’t need to wear the trendy ‘black lip-liner’, as it would mar my natural beauty. It was probably the purest relationship I ever had; maybe the only time I could honestly say the guy liked me more for my mind and personality than my booty and glorious boobs (lol… that’s probably cos they were just little knobs at the time). We dated for 10 months, saw each other in school everyday, but only kissed a few times. It ended just as sweetly as it’d begun, with a kiss…. and a farewell to Canada. This naija boy- naija girl relationship boded well for others to come.


At 16, I was in Canada, had adapted to the culture (meaning I’d grown to love poutines, ice cappuccinos and pizza, and could pull off a pretty good Canadian accent). Anyways, I went to a Nigerian party with my mom and saw all sorts- 419 ‘bluetooth’ representatives, Nigerian- Canadian girls feeling sexy in their leather jackets, a number of fat white girls looking for naija guys to brainwash them, and ‘the others’. I went to get a soda and the bartender started chatting me up... he seemed different. Long story short- I gave him my number. KK was 22, a male nurse, seemed nice, settled, but CALABAR!!! It was really hard to get past that the fact that he probably ate dog meat, but get over it, I did. We’d been dating for only 2 weeks when homeboy started pressing me to come to his house to meet his mother and sleep over!?!?!?!? WTF… 1 was 16… Needless to say, I broke up with him… 2 dinner dates and 2 weeks of dating…. as my uncle would say: “Good riddance to bad rubbish”.

A year later, at 17, I went to another Nigerian party with my mom and some family friends (lol... I know... me and the Nigerian parties… my mom dragged me… I swear). A male friend of my family friend liked me and wanted to talk to me outside… I looked at his face…. not interested… I refused. He came back inside and somehow interested me in conversation. He was 21, in college, very nice, funny, interesting … hmmm, I thought... maybe I should give him a chance; I gave him my number. I mean I ‘obviously’ had no intention of dating him… we’d just be friends… YEAH, RIGHT. We started talking and hit it off big time…we talked on the phone for hours each night for about two months… he asked me out and I said yeah… note, we still hadn’t been on a date yet. The next weekend, he decided he was gonna take me to see a movie. OH MY GOD, MC WAS FUGLY… WTF… I COULD NOT BE SEEN WITH HIM… HE WAS ALL CHEEKBONES…LOOKED LIKE A DAMN SKELETON. I cursed the dim lights of that naija party for obscuring ‘this’ from me. There was no way out of it…. he was already on my bloody doorstep… stepping towards me with arms wide open and his version of a smile… bout Hey Baby. I hated the way he looked, but I felt terrible that I felt that way, cos I could only imagine what that said about me. I understood that I needed to be attracted to someone to date them, but since I’d fallen for his personality, wouldn’t I be shallow if I just broke up with him because I liked his voice but not his face? He was still ‘nice, funny and interesting’, so we dated for maybe 3 months after this date; I probably only saw him 3 times in total. Oh, and he gave me a better reason to break up with him cos the black man was jealous (Where are you going? Who are you going with? You going to look for guys? If not, then why can’t I come with you? How many hours are you going to spend there? What are you going to wear there?... that sort of mess). I told him I knew he didn’t trust me and I couldn’t deal with that, but that I’d love to keep his friendship as it was so important to me (eye roll- yeah, whatever).

*Oh, did I mention that after all his pleading for us to be remain together, when he realized I wasn’t having it, he asked me to return to him the $150 jeans he bought me for my birthday (lol… I guess that could be because I broke up with him three days after my birthday).*



LondonBuki said...

I hope you did not return the jeans! LOL!!!

Please explain 410 bluetooth reps to me.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lol@Lb.. i no b naija babe again? course i didnt return the jeans.... ahh.. i needed some kind of consolation for going through that now... besides wat sort of guy asks you back for stuff.. doesn't he know whatever you give to a girl is gone forever

419 bluetooth representatives are those naija guys that you see @ every naija party with their long 'man-stilettos', tight jeans and 'gucci shirts' with the accompanying bluetooth, which they use to conduct business from Canada to Tokyo, talk to the President of Liberia & also send $2 million to finish the completion of their skyscraper in ikoyi... lol.. they're soo funny... always converting 50 Canadian dollars into one one american dollars to spray people...

zaiprincesa said...

lol.@ London Buki...u took the words right outta my mouth cus i was just about to say the same thing. Anywho, i think by now u shud know not to go with momsie to them naija parties..lol..ahn ahn!..set up buruku!..ur blog is tew funny...pls continue with the story oh.

Mari said...

oh my gosh...very nice post. had me laughing out loud at the end. you sound like
and all her naija boyfriend issues. (She doesnt blog about them)

I cant wait for part 2.

Mari said...

sorry that link didnt work

Belle said...

OMG! that was fun to read...lol
3 boyfriends by 17...dang! i was a LATE bloomer. Didnt really get started till 17ish.
As per the guy that was all cheekbones... i cant believe he asked for the jeans back? shioooo!!! **HISS**!

Calabar Gal said...

LOL!! You had me entralled until the very end!! Cant wait for Part II.
Meanwhile, What have you got against DOG MEAT? Its absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS!!! And no. I dont have any dogs as pets!! They'd probably end up in my pot. LOL!!
Love ur blog!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Zia: thanx 4 enjoying...u'd think i'd learn by now not 2 go 2 anymore naija parties... but as you'll read in part 2.. theres some more dudes/stories to tell

@mari:thanx oh... part 2 will be comin up in a few days... i'll check out nigericans blog too... luved ur blog by the way

@belle:lol.. i kno.. i did start dating pretty early.. but no worry.. i wasn't doing the 'do' at this point.. i kno.. wat sort of guy asks a girl bk for stuff he got her?

@calabar:hehe... part 2 cumin up real soon... lmao@the dog meat stuff.. i won't even get in2 that with u...lol..thanx 4 stoppin by my blog sha... urs isn't opening up for some reason... what's the direct link?

NaijaBloke said...

Hahaha ..u broke up with him 3 days after ur birthday andthe guy alrdy bought u a $150 jeans .. "Wicked"

Nice post waiting for partII.

Lol @ the 419 bluetooth reps ... almost changed my ticket the last time I came to canada cos everybody was into the 419 bluetooth thingy.

Nice post

nosa101 said...

Now you have given me the confidence to get rid of my high cheek bones. I look like a git when I smile.

kulutempa said...

OMG, that was funny! dude straight up asked for his money back...i don't believe that sh*t! this was hilarious! hurry up and post part II!

Anonymous said...

lol..... dats mad interestin he auctually asked for his jeans bak... damnn cheek bones i espected more from him... funny u neva told me dat part

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@NB: hehe… I know… that was probably a bit cold… but ah well… desperate times call for desperate measures… honestly I think this thing might end at part 3… there’s more guys than I thought… lol… should make for interesting writing/reading… hehe… abegi.. 419 bluetooth reps dey every country jare… thanx for visiting my page sha… I luv urs too.

@Nosa: abegi no get rid of high cheekbones… I didn’t say they were all ugly… Tyson beckford has sum high cheekbones and he’s one of the wonders of the modern world… rock whatever you got jare… I know somegirl will appreciate it… just not me (smiles)… this dude turned me off cheekbones for the rest of my natural life

@kulutempa: thanx for showing love on my page… I know self… make I hurry up write the thing finish

@anonymous: lol… I know… babe, I swear I told you but u probably forgot or something... remember this was years ago... I bet if you’d known… you probably wouldn’t have been so nice to him the last few times you saw him eh?

DiAmOnD hawk said...

a guy once asked my cousin for some clothes back..she was like.. "ive got coochie juice all over it...you want it back?" LOL...

i sha hope you kept it

beautyinbaltimore said...

Thanks for visting my blog.
You got him to give you 150.00 jeans, girl you are a hustler.
I've tried dating men who were ugly as all get out, but had nice personalities, it never works. You must be attracted to the person. How did you have a boyfriend at 13? You must be a baaad chic.

Everchange said...

this is hilarious! okay, i have had VERY BAD EXPERIENCES with phone-dating. I think it is important to spend at least a few hours with the guy in person before you start "phone-dating" for several weeks and grow attached. There is nothing wrong with wanting a man who is attractive. Lord knows, all men (even the ugliest ones) go for good-looking babes, so why you should you feel bad bcuz you want a guy you're attracted to?

Plus, I think some guys are less truthful when they're on phone, and so can focus on giving you the right lines, than if you meet him in person and are watching him as he speaks, in which case it's easier for you to tell whether you're connecting or not.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

@Diamond: lmao… your cousin is just too jokes… guys these days self eh.. hell yeah I kept the jeans

@beauty: ur welcum babe, thanx 4 checking mine too… hehe… girl I deserved the jeans jare…yea, it sort of took me a few guys after ‘cheekbones’ to learn my lesson. I’m of the opinion that whatever a person lacks in physical beauty they should make up for in personality… imagine being WOWO and having a stank attitude… not a good mix… hehe.. I was not bad oh… at 13, it was a puppy luv/ elevated version of ‘mommy & daddy romance’… don’t laugh.. I know you played it too.

@everchange: babygirl… I’d seen him the day I met him but totally forgot his looks... the whole dating thing self… I tire… thanks for stopping by my blog… I luv urs too… u suppose document those BAD PHONE- DATING EXPERIENCES for our reading pleasure.

Sex and the Sushi said...

Hey there Overwhelmed Naija Babe!

Thanks for stopping by our blog! I really don’t have a comment for this entry. I mean I’ve dated a couple of Nigerian men but it wasn’t all bad. Obviously it wasn’t all good either because if it was I’d be saying I was married to a Nigerian man but that’s life right?

Anyway, as I wrote to dcsavvy, “I appreciate the fact that you can appreciate the sexiness of our favorite rugby team, the All Blacks, but they belong to us! LOL Why not try the Australians (Wallabies) or the Italians (Azzurri)? They’re just as hot and sexy and they come in all shapes, sizes and skin tones. But stay away from France, Le Michalak appartient à moi!” LOL

Great blog, keep of the good work girl!

Ms. GD

imoted said...

Very funny story. I can't believe he actually asked for the jeans back. What kind of a cheap ass is he.lol.. Doesn't he know the meaning of "gift".......

TP said...

Just reaching here!! Nice blog, you have definitely had some interesting experiences with Naija guys. I'm off to read Parts 2 & 3


Icy-Yetty said...

hahahah das just eveil 3 days later lol! Hey.. I hope you kept it.. lol! Naija mahn.. hmmm.. Some are aiight .. most of them have issues but I still love ehm! :)

Aloma said...

I think the guy asked for his Jeans back becos he felt u just waited for the gift before bailing. there are quite a number of females like that. anyways wot do u guys think of a lady not returning an engagement ring when she decides not to do again?