Saturday, September 09, 2006

My Epiphany

It’s a party, Come on, do it- everybody does, it’s no harm
You’ll feel nice, you’ll feel good, happy, stress- free
It’ll be a bit strange the first time, but it gets better

The little voice in your head says:
No, don’t do it, it’s wrong, it’s dangerous
You’ll end up feeling resentful, strange
There shouldn’t even be a first time for you, don’t do it period!

All these messages resound in your head when you take that first drag of the joint
Cough! Cough!
It tastes and smells horrible, what a waste of time
On the other hand, why the hell not- you only live once

You smoke and you smoke and you smoke some more
Till you can’t hear the little voice in your head anymore
Your brain is silent, everything is calm
Hmmmm, this is actually nice, come to think of it
Ha ha ha, everything’s funny and cute

Then a couple minutes later, it stops being so funny, you think you went way past your limit with the smoking thing
You cry and you laugh and then you cry for laughing
You’re an animal in a cage that wants to be set loose
You fight these invisible chains, but they bind even harder
You can’t break free

You’re burning inside
It’s like God is trying to tell you something
That if you do this again, you’ll die or go to hell, whichever comes first
You’re at the lowest you’ve ever been in your life
It’s strange cos sometimes you have clarity
You realize you’re hallucinating but you cannot stop it

The room starts to spin, then you realize they’re coming after you,
Oh God, you have to run, run, run
It’s weird though cos you can only run in circles though they’re coming straight at you
This is just all too confusing
You realize you can’t outrun them so you have to think
But you need a clear brain so you request water
Water! Water!! You scream
Then you realize… water can’t quench this internal fire
So you request for prayers cos even through this mind- altered haze, you still remember you need spiritual clearance

It’s weird because there are periods inbetween when you have these terrible blackouts
Moments where you can’t remember what happened a little while ago
Those times scare you the most cos they just might represent the darkest part of yourself
You definitely do not want to confront those immediately
So you spin and you fall and you think and get up then fall again
Then you lie down to understand what you’ve been doing
You head and stomach protest
You’re stuck between a rock and very high place
You’re shrouded in darkness and desolation.

Then you have an epiphany
There’s a better plan for your life- you have to deviate from all these experiments or it might not be fulfilled or even if it does- you might be too high to notice.


Anonymous said...

I just made a $100 purchase and Extrabux gave me $20 just for clicking 1 link.

Through these eyes said...

Great post!

Anonymous said...

oh girl, sounds like you had a more traumatic experience than i ever did! i mean, i was always paranoid, but damn! friday, coming up!

Anonymous said...

what the hell did they put in that weed???